Comment from Mastery

Excellent

Sorry, Foxtale, I am a bit confused here. First of all, the writing is great. Flows well, only thing missing is a bit of dialogue somehow in order to give the piece more life and move it along. However, and this is big....I don't know what you are talking about. Is this a chapter in a book? Is it a continuation of a story you are doing? If any of this is true..it would be helpful to the reade rto explain the origins somehow so when a guy like me just jumps in...we know what's going on. What guys? What camp? Who is in charge, etc. Where is it?

I do hope you enlighten us with an edit of some kind...Thanks much...Bob ( I will gladly upgrade the stars if you do an upgrade also.)

 Comment Written 21-Dec-2009

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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2009

OK, me bucko, a bit of rework, and I think this bit of nostalgic recollection now stands alone as a story.

reply by Mastery on 26-Dec-2009

This is much better and I have upgraded our rating...Bob

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

What a fun way to add a little creativity to the camp week - I really like the idea, and you told the anecdote about what happened with the "threatening" pirates and the dud cannonball in a way that had me in stitches - I could really envision what happened. The ending has a lovely poignant touch to it. Brooke

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2009

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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2009

Thanks. Based on what actually happened up at Wolfeboro in California's Sierra Nevada mountains. I'd built them the cannon the year before. But, when one of the scouts discovered a black rubber ball would roll out, the skit was born!

Comment from rhymer1

Excellent

Narrative and prose are pot on except as noted and the content is humorous.
Slainte, rhymer1

one anther with for - typo

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2009

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2009

arrr, avast whilst I changes me wording.
Thanks fer them stars anyway!