Poems from a Pensive Poet
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "The Final Page"Verses from my heart
31 total reviews
Comment from jason456
This is so sad, yet so beautiful. It is written extremely well and flows easily. No one should ever have to write the final chapter. So sad!
Patti :)
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009
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This is so sad, yet so beautiful. It is written extremely well and flows easily. No one should ever have to write the final chapter. So sad!
Patti :)
Comment Written 13-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009
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Thank you Patti, It is sad but it's something we all eventually face. I appreciate the review and nice comment.
Beth
Comment from AlvinTEthington
A very good elegiac (in the sense of lamenting someone) sonnet. There generally is perfect iambic pentameter, but in the fifth and seventh line, you add one extra syllable at the end. easyeverett has told me this is acceptable in some circumstances, so you might want to ask him to look at it. I think this is the case of where adding a syllable for two feminine end rhymes is acceptable. Excellent execution of the abab cdcd efef gg rhyme scheme. There is a turn at the ninth line and a summarizing concluding couplet. Good use of vocabulary (e.g. relentless gloom) and imagery (e.g sun and book.) Nice juxtaposition of picture and poem.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009
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A very good elegiac (in the sense of lamenting someone) sonnet. There generally is perfect iambic pentameter, but in the fifth and seventh line, you add one extra syllable at the end. easyeverett has told me this is acceptable in some circumstances, so you might want to ask him to look at it. I think this is the case of where adding a syllable for two feminine end rhymes is acceptable. Excellent execution of the abab cdcd efef gg rhyme scheme. There is a turn at the ninth line and a summarizing concluding couplet. Good use of vocabulary (e.g. relentless gloom) and imagery (e.g sun and book.) Nice juxtaposition of picture and poem.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009
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Alvin, Thank you so much for the in depth review. Yes, I aware there is an extra syllable in those lines. I was hoping it was acceptable. Is EasyEverett an expert on poetry? I really appreciate your nice comments.
Beth
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easy everett is an expert on poetics. He has a natural talent for meter, so if you have a metrical question, he is the one to ask. He also knows quite a bit about metrical forms. You're welcome for the review.
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
Beth, this is absolutely wonderful! What a truly beautiful sonnet. The Great Bard himself would be proud of this!
Very well written. It brought tears to my eyes.
Hugs and warmest wishes
Kat
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009
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Beth, this is absolutely wonderful! What a truly beautiful sonnet. The Great Bard himself would be proud of this!
Very well written. It brought tears to my eyes.
Hugs and warmest wishes
Kat
Comment Written 13-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009
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Ahhh..Kat, You're so nice. I love your review and comments.
Thanks,
Beth
Comment from MariJo
This is a lovely poem & is well crafted about the death of a friend. I am questioning the fifth & seventh line as I scanned it for iambic pentameter I count the five feet but there are 11 syllables. I am trying to learn about meter & iambic lines. Is it okay to have 11 syllables if you still have five iambic feet in a line for a Shakespearian sonnet? Please educate me regarding this form. Your meter is perfect for the rest of the lines & is a pleasure to read.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009
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This is a lovely poem & is well crafted about the death of a friend. I am questioning the fifth & seventh line as I scanned it for iambic pentameter I count the five feet but there are 11 syllables. I am trying to learn about meter & iambic lines. Is it okay to have 11 syllables if you still have five iambic feet in a line for a Shakespearian sonnet? Please educate me regarding this form. Your meter is perfect for the rest of the lines & is a pleasure to read.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009
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You are right there are eleven. I've seen the variation in some works that are supposed to be really good but I don't know if it is gramatically OK. It just sounded better that way to me. Thanks for the careful review and the nice comments.
Beth
Comment from Sonya Florentino
i like this one...it sounds really heart-felt...my favorite lines are:
Our last goodbye is like the death of reason.
Inside me lies a cold and empty room.
I sense the sudden shock of winter season,
and feel the icy wind's relentless gloom.
sometimes we cannot comprehend death and cannot believe it has taken someone we love but it is a reality we must face and accept... the last line is beautiful too and ends the poem in a lighter note...
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009
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i like this one...it sounds really heart-felt...my favorite lines are:
Our last goodbye is like the death of reason.
Inside me lies a cold and empty room.
I sense the sudden shock of winter season,
and feel the icy wind's relentless gloom.
sometimes we cannot comprehend death and cannot believe it has taken someone we love but it is a reality we must face and accept... the last line is beautiful too and ends the poem in a lighter note...
Comment Written 13-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009
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Thank you so much Sonya for the review and the lovely comments.
Beth
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo BethShelby ...
I cannot resist awarding you the 6th star for this well-written Sonnet because you have expressed so much love for your friend and your words, whilst tinged with emotion, are nevertheless realistic as you face the end of a chapter in your life.
There is just one small change to recommend ...
* You have - But now, the page is turned, The tale's complete ... this should be - the tale's complete ...
Thank you for sharing this with us. I really like it from every point of view.
With love from ..... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009
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Hullo BethShelby ...
I cannot resist awarding you the 6th star for this well-written Sonnet because you have expressed so much love for your friend and your words, whilst tinged with emotion, are nevertheless realistic as you face the end of a chapter in your life.
There is just one small change to recommend ...
* You have - But now, the page is turned, The tale's complete ... this should be - the tale's complete ...
Thank you for sharing this with us. I really like it from every point of view.
With love from ..... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009
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Thank you so much Nanette Mary for that six star rating and your warm and lovely comments. I truly appreciate it.
Beth
Comment from CCasetta
I am sorry for your loss. This poem is absolutely beautiful. It is a wonderful tribute lovingly presented. The sentiment is apparent and gentle, the flow and rhyme are meticulous,and the story is complete (I feel that I, too, now know a little of that which made your friend special). It is just a lovely, remarkable poem. --Curt
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009
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I am sorry for your loss. This poem is absolutely beautiful. It is a wonderful tribute lovingly presented. The sentiment is apparent and gentle, the flow and rhyme are meticulous,and the story is complete (I feel that I, too, now know a little of that which made your friend special). It is just a lovely, remarkable poem. --Curt
Comment Written 13-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009
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Curt, Thank you so much for the review and your thoughtful comments and expressions of sympathy.
Beth
Comment from mountainwriter49
Simply gorgeous! If I had a "6" in my star toolbox, I'd give it to this poem. This poem flows beautifully, the rhyme is perfect and the message, oh the message, is so wonderful and beautiful. This strikes too close to home for me these days and your words have given me pause to reflect and will, I think, be part of what will help me with the final part is written for my friend. Thanks for crafting and sharing. -ray
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2009
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Simply gorgeous! If I had a "6" in my star toolbox, I'd give it to this poem. This poem flows beautifully, the rhyme is perfect and the message, oh the message, is so wonderful and beautiful. This strikes too close to home for me these days and your words have given me pause to reflect and will, I think, be part of what will help me with the final part is written for my friend. Thanks for crafting and sharing. -ray
Comment Written 12-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2009
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Ray, I'm so glad you liked this. I'm sorry to hear that it is hitting close to home for your. Those times are so difficult.
I appreciate you nice comments and I am pleased that you felt is was worth bookmarking.
Beth
Comment from Queenise
Lovely poem and tribute. Well said and heartfelt. Has lots of feeling and a pouring out of the soul in these words. Reminds us to treasure each moment that we have with friends and loved ones. Blessings. Queenise
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2009
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Lovely poem and tribute. Well said and heartfelt. Has lots of feeling and a pouring out of the soul in these words. Reminds us to treasure each moment that we have with friends and loved ones. Blessings. Queenise
Comment Written 12-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2009
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Thank you so much Queenise. I truly appreciate your kind comments.
Beth
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You're welcome. Queenise
Comment from anabelle
Very impressive, BethShelby. I liked the way you portrayed life and death: with a chapter, a final and saying that only tears and thoughts belong to you. Everything else belongs to the season and the elements which surround us. Very nicely done.
Thanks for sharing.
Regards, anabelle
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2009
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Very impressive, BethShelby. I liked the way you portrayed life and death: with a chapter, a final and saying that only tears and thoughts belong to you. Everything else belongs to the season and the elements which surround us. Very nicely done.
Thanks for sharing.
Regards, anabelle
Comment Written 11-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2009
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Anabelle, Thank you so much for the review and the lovely comments.
Beth
