POEMS, SONGS AND NOTES
Viewing comments for Chapter 57 "Sweet Blessings"When I dabble at things.....
44 total reviews
Comment from Helvi2
Hi BG,
I'm not sure if this is a true haiku,because of the punctuation and the first two lines should read together as one, but the heartfelt words you wrote over ride those faults ( which I could be wrong about). I think the picture you chose was a perfect choice for the imagery you presented and the precious gift you were given
I'm so happy for you and your son. I'm still smiling knowing a miracle happened for both of you.
Good Luck in the Contest,
Helvi :o)
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2009
Hi BG,
I'm not sure if this is a true haiku,because of the punctuation and the first two lines should read together as one, but the heartfelt words you wrote over ride those faults ( which I could be wrong about). I think the picture you chose was a perfect choice for the imagery you presented and the precious gift you were given
I'm so happy for you and your son. I'm still smiling knowing a miracle happened for both of you.
Good Luck in the Contest,
Helvi :o)
Comment Written 27-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2009
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Helvi
I never know the exact rules so I just wrote what was in my heart. I am glad that you enjoyed it. Smiles, Carol
I think it was wonderful!
Hugs, Helvi
Comment from --Turtle.
Hi Carol
I think a lot of people will get a gushy feeling for this, as it is warm and the instinct of parenting is strong. I thought it was good. I did think the he lives didn't hit me with the flow so well. Like there might be something to brainstorm, as the final thought? subtle, but warming? ... baby cries, a gift.
baby cries, perfect.... music...
Not sure. the baby cries kind of implies life, so he lives to me felt a fizzle.
But I'm not sure as I am not that good with poems.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2009
Hi Carol
I think a lot of people will get a gushy feeling for this, as it is warm and the instinct of parenting is strong. I thought it was good. I did think the he lives didn't hit me with the flow so well. Like there might be something to brainstorm, as the final thought? subtle, but warming? ... baby cries, a gift.
baby cries, perfect.... music...
Not sure. the baby cries kind of implies life, so he lives to me felt a fizzle.
But I'm not sure as I am not that good with poems.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2009
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turtle
Guess you actually had to be there in the moment to get the impact of he lives. They said he wouldn't survive. When I heard his cry...I knew he was alive. If you think of a better way of putting it...I am always open to your suggestions. Thanks, Carol
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true joy?
I try. Take care, --Turtle.
Comment from medicnate
Great work here. This is a very sweet poem, with a happy ending. Great picture you chose. Good luck in the contest.
~medicnate~
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2009
Great work here. This is a very sweet poem, with a happy ending. Great picture you chose. Good luck in the contest.
~medicnate~
Comment Written 27-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2009
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medicante
Thank you so much for your kind words. This one meant a lot to me. Carol
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No problem. If you have the chance, and haven't done so already, I'd love to hear your thoughts on my short stories "She Danced in Silence" and "Quilty as Charged". Mind you, they are horror stories, so if that's not your thing, I completely understand. Thanks in advance.
~medicnate~
Comment from skye
There is nothing more compelling than the first cry of a newborn... it truly starts our heart, and then fills it overflowing with more love than we can know.
Your haiku is strong, imaginative, well constructed, and fits all the requirements.
Very well done.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2009
There is nothing more compelling than the first cry of a newborn... it truly starts our heart, and then fills it overflowing with more love than we can know.
Your haiku is strong, imaginative, well constructed, and fits all the requirements.
Very well done.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2009
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Skye
Thanks for the kind comments. My son was four months old and the doctors said he had very little chance of survival. I was blessed when God had other plans...Thanks again. Carol
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes starts of sad and ends beautifully a very created contest entry well done a strong contest entry enhanced by the art work good luck regards Fuller
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2009
Yes starts of sad and ends beautifully a very created contest entry well done a strong contest entry enhanced by the art work good luck regards Fuller
Comment Written 27-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2009
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Fuller
Thank you very much. I was blessed when God had other plans when the doctors thought he was going to die. Smiles, Carol
Comment from cardpackrat
Thank god that your child lives. There have been many a mother who has gone through this as well. A perfect haiku that expresses fully a parent's prayer for the health of their child. Good luck with this in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2009
Thank god that your child lives. There have been many a mother who has gone through this as well. A perfect haiku that expresses fully a parent's prayer for the health of their child. Good luck with this in the contest.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2009
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Thanks you for your kind comments. I truly appreciate them. Smiles, CArol
Comment from Carol D Parker
This is a very profound haiku. I presume
it is a birth situation. You said so much in
these few words. very well written and creative.
It should do well in the comp.
Good luck
Delora
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2009
This is a very profound haiku. I presume
it is a birth situation. You said so much in
these few words. very well written and creative.
It should do well in the comp.
Good luck
Delora
Comment Written 27-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2009
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Delora
He was actually four months old and had to have an experimental surgery on his brain. WE were military and the prognosis was about zero. I was blessed when he came back cooing and aahing. I can't describe the emotions I felt. Thanks! CArol
Comment from Bananafish308
This is such a touching and powerful haiku. I was so relieved when I read the third line and author notes. I am happy all turned out well. Very well done. Bill
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2009
This is such a touching and powerful haiku. I was so relieved when I read the third line and author notes. I am happy all turned out well. Very well done. Bill
Comment Written 27-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2009
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Bill
I was very fortunate and blessed when Johnny survived. Thanks for the kind review. Carol
Comment from becky7777
so glad your son did live and God choose to let him. great haiku. it is full of emotion and a happy picture. good luck in the contets.
Becky
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2009
so glad your son did live and God choose to let him. great haiku. it is full of emotion and a happy picture. good luck in the contets.
Becky
Comment Written 27-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2009
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Becky
Yes, we were blessed when he survived. Thank you for the kind review. CArol
Comment from TheBritsWife
Hi Carol, This is such a powerful and heartfelt haiku! You are such a lovely person, and you've been through so much in your life. I loved the way you captured a true miracle in so few words. The picture you chose is perfect, although your touching poem certainly speaks for itself. You were truly blessed! Good luck in the contest. This is a special entry. - Karen :-)
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2009
Hi Carol, This is such a powerful and heartfelt haiku! You are such a lovely person, and you've been through so much in your life. I loved the way you captured a true miracle in so few words. The picture you chose is perfect, although your touching poem certainly speaks for itself. You were truly blessed! Good luck in the contest. This is a special entry. - Karen :-)
Comment Written 27-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2009
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Karen
Thank you again. I am thinking about reposting a book I started about Johnny. I didn't finish it because the writing was difficult. There are a lot of new people who haven't read it and maybe this time I can finish it. Still thinking on it thought. Smiles to you, CArol
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Hey Carol! My vote is for the re-posting of your son's story! I'm sure there will be many people (myself included) who will really relate and be touched by it.
Karen ;-)