Reviews from

Lust

A wanton need

12 total reviews 
Comment from babylonia
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

fiona,
LOL i think we've all had this feeling at one time or another. :P
made me smile and giggle.
good luck~
love,
barbara

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2009

reply by the author on 03-Oct-2009
    Anything that can make someone smile and/or giggle is pleasurable. Thank you for your comments and your ratings. Cheers
reply by babylonia on 03-Oct-2009
    you are welcome~
    love,
    barbara
Comment from Annelisa
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well those words most certainly describe lust, especially the last line about wanting it now!!! Good luck in the contest. Annelisa

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2009

reply by the author on 02-Oct-2009
    Thank you Annelisa for your review and rating. Cheers
Comment from whizpurr ^-^
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi fiona,
You certainly have written an excellent clarity poem. LUST is alive and well in it! I enjoyed the read and congratulate you on a job well done. All the best to you.
Cheers, Whizpurr ^-^

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2009

reply by the author on 02-Oct-2009
    Thank you Whizpurr for your review and rating. Cheers
Comment from DreamWriter1212
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Powerful love making piece with sensual feelings towards it.
I can feel the fiery desires the character has to be gratified and conquered in that moment.

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2009

reply by the author on 02-Oct-2009
    Oh yes. Thank you.
Comment from Amfunny
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

So that's what it is like? Been so long since I lusted, I seem to have forgotten what it feels like. LOL. Nicely done. Good luck to you. :)

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2009

reply by the author on 02-Oct-2009
    Thank you, hope it happens soon! But ... don't ever forget what it is like! Cheers
Comment from Gert sherwood
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello fionageorge
Pretty steamy and sensual are your thoughts opened my eyes even being married for 56 years..

no more--Hormones raging for me.

good luck
Gert




 Comment Written 02-Oct-2009

reply by the author on 02-Oct-2009
    Hi Gert, maybe you need some HRT? Worked for me! lol :) Pleased you enjoyed, and thanks for your rating
reply by Gert sherwood on 02-Oct-2009
    Hello fionageorge
    Dr. orders no Hormoes . too old
    Get
reply by Gert sherwood on 02-Oct-2009
    Hello fionageorge
    Dr. orders no Hormoes . too old
    Gert
Comment from Soulester
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Excellent job on this bodacious clarity pyramid poem, Finona! I cannot think of a thing that would make it better. Good luck in the contest. Mary

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2009

reply by the author on 02-Oct-2009
    thank you, for your comments, rating and good luck wishes.
Comment from dmjones
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wonderful choice of words that works right down to the last line. I enjoyed reading it and had to smile because you capture the image in so few words.

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2009

reply by the author on 02-Oct-2009
    Thank you,pleased you enjoyed. And thanks for the rating.
Comment from nora arjuna
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

hi FG, a great entry and description on LUST. Check your third line, 'satisfy'. to me it doesn't describe 'lust'. satisfy means - tp please or fulfil, while lust as verb means yearn or hunger. you have you second line discribing it as a noun - desire. that works.

also you should leave spacings between 3rd and 4th line, and between 6th and 7th line.

the creator for this form used to be a friend and i've learned a lot from him.

PS - BTW, I posted the next chapter to Web of Love, in case you'd like to read.

good luck with this.

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2009

reply by the author on 02-Oct-2009
    Thank you arjuna, I am very new at this, and it was my first attempt. I considered the very point you have made re the word satisfy. I related it to the need to satisfy the lust. But I take your point. If I ever take part in another one of these I will take the above into account. Would like to be a friend of your friend, sounds like he would be a wonderful mentor. But with your advice I believe your are mentoring me too. Thank you.
Comment from Begin Again
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

fiona

Yes, that certainly sounded like lust to me...almost a bit demanding with your final words..LOL Your syllables are correct and you have written a good poem.

Carol

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2009

reply by the author on 02-Oct-2009
    Thank you. Don't really know why I picked that subject today. Well, maybe I do! Thanks for review and rating.