A Heart of Rock and Steel
A contest entry.20 total reviews
Comment from FredCollingwood
It's difficult to write something in few words and you wrenched hearts with this one. I think it's excellent--well done.
Fred
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
It's difficult to write something in few words and you wrenched hearts with this one. I think it's excellent--well done.
Fred
Comment Written 08-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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Thank you for the positive review.
Comment from Blaidd Drwg
Fantastic! Great contest entry, and a truly heart-wrenching, intense piece. And you dragged all these emotions out of me with so few words!
How she became like "rock and steel" is about as sad as anything I have read for a long time. To lose a love in such a way... unthinkable.
ANd yet, you give us hope at the end of your story. Thanks for that :)
John
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2009
Fantastic! Great contest entry, and a truly heart-wrenching, intense piece. And you dragged all these emotions out of me with so few words!
How she became like "rock and steel" is about as sad as anything I have read for a long time. To lose a love in such a way... unthinkable.
ANd yet, you give us hope at the end of your story. Thanks for that :)
John
Comment Written 25-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2009
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Thanks for the positve review.
Comment from BJean
I like your beginning sentence. Then ending with a possible transformation. This was a powerful little story
with using only a few words. Good flash story.
JEan
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2009
I like your beginning sentence. Then ending with a possible transformation. This was a powerful little story
with using only a few words. Good flash story.
JEan
Comment Written 25-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2009
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Thanks for the positive review.
Comment from darkgreennights
Jeepers that was a good entry! I loved the action and the analogy as I am an analogy junkie. Eliz it takes a LOT of talent to write an entire book in 200 words! A lot of talent which you have.
Kathleen
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2009
Jeepers that was a good entry! I loved the action and the analogy as I am an analogy junkie. Eliz it takes a LOT of talent to write an entire book in 200 words! A lot of talent which you have.
Kathleen
Comment Written 23-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2009
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ThI like flash fiction.ank you for the positive review and wonderful feedback.
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Damn well I'm intimidated by it, but you ruled!
Comment from adewpearl
This is an emotionally intense and inspiring story and all while staying within the contest's word restrictions and employing the required words from the contest list - you've done an excellent job with this strong entry. Brooke
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2009
This is an emotionally intense and inspiring story and all while staying within the contest's word restrictions and employing the required words from the contest list - you've done an excellent job with this strong entry. Brooke
Comment Written 23-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2009
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Thank you for the positive review and feedback.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
"Your heart is made of rock and steel just like your building," he said as he walked off the balcony and out of her life. I really hope he walked from the balcony and not really off the balcony, especially if it was one of those tall skyscaper. Very good. You told the entire story in a very few words.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2009
"Your heart is made of rock and steel just like your building," he said as he walked off the balcony and out of her life. I really hope he walked from the balcony and not really off the balcony, especially if it was one of those tall skyscaper. Very good. You told the entire story in a very few words.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2009
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Thank you for the positive review and feedback.
Comment from Cooper Watt
Hey, Eliz, well done!
I love the juxtaposition you leave us with: rebuilding the heart like a building... Very good.
Good luck with the contest, my friend.
Coop.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2009
Hey, Eliz, well done!
I love the juxtaposition you leave us with: rebuilding the heart like a building... Very good.
Good luck with the contest, my friend.
Coop.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2009
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Thank you for the positive review and feedback.
Comment from Thesis
This is a very concise story that encompasses a lot of emotion.
It focuses about a building, which is a great accomplishment of the main character.
She seems to have it all, except for the man she lost. Regret, longing and getermination all play a big role in this short story. - Thesis
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2009
This is a very concise story that encompasses a lot of emotion.
It focuses about a building, which is a great accomplishment of the main character.
She seems to have it all, except for the man she lost. Regret, longing and getermination all play a big role in this short story. - Thesis
Comment Written 23-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2009
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Thanks for the positive review and feedback
Comment from Marjorie D.
Good story! It paints an interesting picture of this woman who knows what it's like to feel love and pain. Moving the first paragraph to the second position might create a smoother transition, though.
Good job all around. Best of luck!
XO
Marjorie
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2009
Good story! It paints an interesting picture of this woman who knows what it's like to feel love and pain. Moving the first paragraph to the second position might create a smoother transition, though.
Good job all around. Best of luck!
XO
Marjorie
Comment Written 23-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2009
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Thanks for the positive review and feedback.
Comment from cortneyculbertson
The title I felt was not fitting to the poem itself . The poem itself beautiful. The choice of wording example"painful shards "very catching! Its seems as though this poem is a strong story of a women her struggle to melt a frozen heart.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2009
The title I felt was not fitting to the poem itself . The poem itself beautiful. The choice of wording example"painful shards "very catching! Its seems as though this poem is a strong story of a women her struggle to melt a frozen heart.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2009
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Thank you for the feedback and review.