The Chinese Water Torture
100 word dash36 total reviews
Comment from Helen Tan
The Chinese Water Torture
I popped into your portfolio to have a read and this piece caught my attention for obvious reason. I'm glad it was just a shoot - a movie shoot!
More tears of frustration and fear spilled from her eyes.
I know you had to maintain a word count of 100 for this piece so deleting words would change things. However, to build suspense, consider this format in future," Tears of frustration, (of)fear spilled from her eyes.
Finally, the director call, "Cut. That's a wrap."
Great twist and it's very clever to incorporate this within such a short write.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2009
  |
The Chinese Water Torture
I popped into your portfolio to have a read and this piece caught my attention for obvious reason. I'm glad it was just a shoot - a movie shoot!
More tears of frustration and fear spilled from her eyes.
I know you had to maintain a word count of 100 for this piece so deleting words would change things. However, to build suspense, consider this format in future," Tears of frustration, (of)fear spilled from her eyes.
Finally, the director call, "Cut. That's a wrap."
Great twist and it's very clever to incorporate this within such a short write.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2009
-
Thanks for the feedback and positive review.
Comment from angelic007
Good story. It really had my heart racing in anticipation. I'm so glad that it ended up being a scene and not the real thing. kudos
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2009
 |
Good story. It really had my heart racing in anticipation. I'm so glad that it ended up being a scene and not the real thing. kudos
Comment Written 16-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2009
-
Thanks for the positive review.
Comment from Kingsland
this story need a better title as it just doesn't relate well to the story line written here. The story is written well without any errors, but the title just didn't make sense for me. But I will judge this on story content alone. Which to me is worthy of five stars... John
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2009
|
this story need a better title as it just doesn't relate well to the story line written here. The story is written well without any errors, but the title just didn't make sense for me. But I will judge this on story content alone. Which to me is worthy of five stars... John
Comment Written 15-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2009
-
thanks for the feedback and review.
Comment from maxic59
That's very good, I liked your story, you certainly fulfilled the requirements for the competition
good luck
well done
cheers max
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2009
|
That's very good, I liked your story, you certainly fulfilled the requirements for the competition
good luck
well done
cheers max
Comment Written 15-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2009
-
Thank you for the positive review.
Comment from Summer Falls
OHH there are only 98 words! You may want to add a couple to meet the requirements of the contest. It was a great story though--just shows me how an actress can immerse themselves into a scene. You sure had me captivated! The last line was perfection! I love surprise endings. Oh one more thing, when she says why me--is she thinking it? or saying it? If she is saying it, add quotation marks. :)
Good luck in the contest!
Summer
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2009
|
OHH there are only 98 words! You may want to add a couple to meet the requirements of the contest. It was a great story though--just shows me how an actress can immerse themselves into a scene. You sure had me captivated! The last line was perfection! I love surprise endings. Oh one more thing, when she says why me--is she thinking it? or saying it? If she is saying it, add quotation marks. :)
Good luck in the contest!
Summer
Comment Written 14-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2009
-
Thank you for the positive review.
-
You are welcome! Did you add 2 words? :)
Summer
Comment from babylonia
oh thank god, LOL finally i can go to the bathroom. :P
made me smile. easy to read and follow. no spaggies. imagery is excellent.
good luck~
love,
barbara
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2009
|
oh thank god, LOL finally i can go to the bathroom. :P
made me smile. easy to read and follow. no spaggies. imagery is excellent.
good luck~
love,
barbara
Comment Written 14-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2009
-
Thank for the positive review.
-
you are welcome~
Comment from Readywriter52
The story was very suspenceful. It kept the reader engaged to the very end. There it has a surprise ending. I could empathize with the main charater.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2009
|
The story was very suspenceful. It kept the reader engaged to the very end. There it has a surprise ending. I could empathize with the main charater.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2009
-
Thank for the positive review.
Comment from jodim
Your 100 word dash pulled me "into" the story immediately and then.................the very unexpected ending! Very good work! I love it.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2009
|
Your 100 word dash pulled me "into" the story immediately and then.................the very unexpected ending! Very good work! I love it.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2009
-
Thank for the positive review.
Comment from gene_ink
Cool story, eliz100. With the exception of word count you have met the contest criteria. I suppose two more "drips" would have done it. I like the emotion you display in the captive and then the surprise of the director's "cut".
Gene
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2009
|
Cool story, eliz100. With the exception of word count you have met the contest criteria. I suppose two more "drips" would have done it. I like the emotion you display in the captive and then the surprise of the director's "cut".
Gene
Comment Written 14-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2009
-
i thought I had 100. Thanks for the review.
Comment from skye
Great details and wonderfully unexpected ending of shooting a film.
Flash fiction is a strong style to condense a story into just the very essence...
Your short take is very well constructed, filled with all the drama one could wish for.
Very well done.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2009
|
Great details and wonderfully unexpected ending of shooting a film.
Flash fiction is a strong style to condense a story into just the very essence...
Your short take is very well constructed, filled with all the drama one could wish for.
Very well done.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2009
-
Thanks for the positive review.
