POEMS, SONGS AND NOTES
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Answered Prayers"When I dabble at things.....
41 total reviews
Comment from Blaidd Drwg
First attempt--great poem, albeit a sad poem, and yet, like all of your work, the element of faith wins in the end.
Eternal love, in God's eternal home. Great!
John
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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First attempt--great poem, albeit a sad poem, and yet, like all of your work, the element of faith wins in the end.
Eternal love, in God's eternal home. Great!
John
Comment Written 10-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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John Without my faith that tomorrow promises something better, I honestly believe I would surrender to grief. Thank you for the wonderful review. As always, I send a smile to you. Carol P.S. I've spent the evening working on a thriller.
Comment from MJMuraco
This nonet is beautiful and inspirational. You did a great job and although I don't follow any certain type of poetry, I applaud you for trying. Nice entry.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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This nonet is beautiful and inspirational. You did a great job and although I don't follow any certain type of poetry, I applaud you for trying. Nice entry.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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MJMuraco
I'm no poet but I thought what the heck, why not give a try once. I prefer my stories and that's what I'm back working on now. Thanks for the review. Appreciate it. Carol
Comment from RADIO
Beautiful words of trusting faith
but as I read I wonder what pain
you refer to. Without going into detail
I can definately relate to your words.
I have a poem titled, "To begin again."
Be well and have a good day.
Radio
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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Beautiful words of trusting faith
but as I read I wonder what pain
you refer to. Without going into detail
I can definately relate to your words.
I have a poem titled, "To begin again."
Be well and have a good day.
Radio
Comment Written 10-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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Radio
Thanks for the review and your kind words. I'll have to check out your poem since I myst be its name sake. LOL Begin Again
Comment from Steve Pantazis
I think this nonet is all about the second line: "release me from this world of pain." That line has a profound impact on the rest, which add a tinge of sadness to the poem.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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I think this nonet is all about the second line: "release me from this world of pain." That line has a profound impact on the rest, which add a tinge of sadness to the poem.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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Pantazis
Thank you so much for reading and understanding the poem. Have a great day. Carol
Comment from Freeflyer
Your Nonet is inspiring. Your words are so clear in their message. If we could all be so lucky. I have spent so many nights in mental pain over my daughter and her abusive marriage but not all prayers have been answered. I will keep praying. I enjoyed your write very much. Good luck in the competition.
Freeflyer.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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Your Nonet is inspiring. Your words are so clear in their message. If we could all be so lucky. I have spent so many nights in mental pain over my daughter and her abusive marriage but not all prayers have been answered. I will keep praying. I enjoyed your write very much. Good luck in the competition.
Freeflyer.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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Freeflyer
I must believe that sometimes our prayers are answered in ways we do not understand or wish to see....I can't believe he hears and turns away. Have a great day! Carol
Comment from Summer Falls
I am no expert at nonet poetry, or any poetry for that matter, but you did meet the requirements of the contest. I counted the syllables and you are spot on.
Now for your words. They evoke such emotion and faith. When all seems hopeless, it is such a relief when a friend or faith in something stronger than we are at that moment can cradle us for awhile. I loved this Carol!
Summer
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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I am no expert at nonet poetry, or any poetry for that matter, but you did meet the requirements of the contest. I counted the syllables and you are spot on.
Now for your words. They evoke such emotion and faith. When all seems hopeless, it is such a relief when a friend or faith in something stronger than we are at that moment can cradle us for awhile. I loved this Carol!
Summer
Comment Written 10-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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Summer
This one came from the heart,,,I loved it too, Thanks for the review and your kind words. I'm not a poet by any stretch of the imagination, but this just felt right. Thanks again. Carol
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That is all that counts. :)
Comment from rama devi
Second review
So glad the suggestions helped!
First review (Four stars)
The syllable count is correct.
The subject and theme are elevating.
Phrasing is nice and has potential, but it lacks flow and comes across too choppy with all those short sentences in such a short poem.
I think there are a number of spag issues as well.
In the darkest part of night, I wept(dash, comma or speech quotes)
Release me from this world of pain,
Heavenly God, I beseech.(end quote- if quote option used)
I find the first few lines to be awkwardly structured. A suggestion
In the darkest part of night, I wept,
"Release me from this world of pain,
Heavenly God, I beseech."
I would also recommend altering the punctuation choices in second half-
An angel touched my hand;
Joyous trumpets blared.
Our love renewed
In God's home,
You and
I
It may be just my ear, dear sister - so if no other reviewer found the phrasing awkward, feel free to ignore these suggestions.
The subject is elevating and inspirational.
NICE!
Warmly,
rd
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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Second review
So glad the suggestions helped!
First review (Four stars)
The syllable count is correct.
The subject and theme are elevating.
Phrasing is nice and has potential, but it lacks flow and comes across too choppy with all those short sentences in such a short poem.
I think there are a number of spag issues as well.
In the darkest part of night, I wept(dash, comma or speech quotes)
Release me from this world of pain,
Heavenly God, I beseech.(end quote- if quote option used)
I find the first few lines to be awkwardly structured. A suggestion
In the darkest part of night, I wept,
"Release me from this world of pain,
Heavenly God, I beseech."
I would also recommend altering the punctuation choices in second half-
An angel touched my hand;
Joyous trumpets blared.
Our love renewed
In God's home,
You and
I
It may be just my ear, dear sister - so if no other reviewer found the phrasing awkward, feel free to ignore these suggestions.
The subject is elevating and inspirational.
NICE!
Warmly,
rd
Comment Written 09-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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Rama devi
Of course, I am no poet and will never pretend to be. It was simply a frivolous moment in time. You are the Pro and your suggestions are appreciated. No one else even mentioned it, but maybe you were a bit more interested. Thanks for the review. Always, Carol
Comment from Eternal Muse
Oh, you cut deep on this one. A very powerful Nonet about unity with God; asking God to release you from pain and suffering. An angel touching a hand and you feel the desired unity with God at His home. This is a deeply touching spiritual Nonet, executed perfectly according to the form structure, excellent work, good luck in the contest, this is certainly a strong contender. Blessings, Y.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2009
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Oh, you cut deep on this one. A very powerful Nonet about unity with God; asking God to release you from pain and suffering. An angel touching a hand and you feel the desired unity with God at His home. This is a deeply touching spiritual Nonet, executed perfectly according to the form structure, excellent work, good luck in the contest, this is certainly a strong contender. Blessings, Y.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2009
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Yeltel
Thank you for the wonderful review. This one was from some where deep inside of me. I am glad that you enjoyed it. Thanks for the review.
Carol
Comment from Phil Kitom
An Excellent nonet that has been
so expertly crafted and gives a
clear message about accepting
the grace of God and surrendering
to his peace. Well done...
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2009
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An Excellent nonet that has been
so expertly crafted and gives a
clear message about accepting
the grace of God and surrendering
to his peace. Well done...
Comment Written 09-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2009
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Phil
Thanks so much for the kind review. I am glad you enjoyed it. Carol
Comment from Joan E.
You managed your nonet well, first attempt or not. It flows beautifully and even includes alliteration. The picture you chose is hauntingly lovely and showcases your theme well. If your poem is autobiographical and am sorry you've had to suffer such pain, if not you took on a very strong persona.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2009
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You managed your nonet well, first attempt or not. It flows beautifully and even includes alliteration. The picture you chose is hauntingly lovely and showcases your theme well. If your poem is autobiographical and am sorry you've had to suffer such pain, if not you took on a very strong persona.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2009
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Joan
The poem isn't related to me, only someone I knew. Thanks so much for the review. I appreciate your kind words. Carol