Comment from learning_to_write

Excellent

I think you have told a nice little story and made good use of the words. It was an easy read, interesting and enjoyable.

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 30-Jul-2009

learning to write Thank you for your review. Going from a child hood brat to I do in 150 words was tough for me. I prefer to describe and write. Thanks again Carol

Comment from Domino

Excellent

Hi, Carol.

This is a cute story with the plus of a happy ending.

I do find the highlighted contest words very distracting and would guggest, with respecy you de-highlight.

If anyone wants to check, then the list is in the notes. Just my opinion.

Hey, shame Kelly's head blew up when Tommy kissed her. Is that murder or manslaughter? haha - just being silly.

Best wishes, Ray xx

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 30-Jul-2009

Ray I get into so much trouble in these contests. Oe tells me to highlight, another to use italic, and some just forget it.....maybe they meant just forget the whole contest.lol Naw...everybody has their own likes and dislikes and that's what makes our world go round. You even tried to turn my little love story into murder...that would have been an excellent twist though. LOL Thanks for stopping by and reviewing. I appreciate everyone's input especially those that make me smile. Thanks again Carol

Comment from AlvinTEthington

Excellent

What an amazing feat! This contest was incredibly difficult and given the list of words, I imagined the most macabre of entries. However, you write a sweet childlike (in the good sense) story. You use dialogue extremely well to develop characters in a short period of time. There's a good plot with conflict and resolution. I really liked this story; I am glad this is my last review of the night, for this story warmed my heart and made me feel peaceful. Superb work.

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 30-Jul-2009

Alvin I've read many of your reviews over the last few weeks and I am always impressed how thorough you are. You appear to have the right insight on how a story should go.
For that reason and more, I sincerely thank you for your review. I know it was just a silly little challenge, but for me it was difficult. I prefer lots of description and flowing words. 150 words doesn't let you get too flowing!

I loved going from the I hate you brat to teh loving I do!

Sorry for my babbling, I appreciated your review and I send you a special smile. Carol

Comment from Kristia

Excellent

Hi,

This one surprised me! You have written a very good piece while using the prescribed criteria. This is easy to read and very entertaining and in a very short amount of words gives us a synopsis of these two people's lives. Nice work.

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 30-Jul-2009

Kristia From the I hate you brat to the I love you girl...don't wish the world would always turn out that way. Thanks for the review. Carol

Comment from tati

Excellent

Dear Carol,

This is truly a challenge, writing a unique love story in 150 words. But you did it wonderfully. You've used effectively and smartly all the words provided. Thank you for sharing, and wish you the best luck in the contest. Regards, tati (July 30, 2009)

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 30-Jul-2009

Tati Good morning my friend. I had to find a way to take the little brats to the alter in 150 words...tough for me...I like to write, write, write! I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks again Carol

Comment from Colette

Excellent

Well done, not only did you fit the criteria, it is also real life drama
where have we heard those words before. I have a daughter so yes
I can relate to this big time. Great work yet again. Colette

 Comment Written 29-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 29-Jul-2009

Colette

Thank you for your kind review. It was a fun little story. Imagine me trying to cram a story into 150 words...darn I had trouble with 500 flash fiction. Can't believe I accomplished it. Thanks again Carol

Comment from Nanny 6

Excellent

Remarkable!!! This is a great story, very naturally told and the required words used with ease. This is a great entry and I wish you good luck! Judy

 Comment Written 29-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 29-Jul-2009

Judy

Thanks for the kind review. I greatly appreciate it. Carol

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

You have done an excellent job of working all the requisite contest words into this 150 word story without anything sounding forced at all - this is a sweet story of young love that leads to an eternal commitment. Good luck in this contest with your strong contender. Brooke :-)

 Comment Written 29-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 29-Jul-2009

Brooke

Thank you for your kind review. Sometimes it's just fun to write a silly little story. I know you can put a whole story in 17 syllables but I strained to make this fit in 150. Thanks again for stopping by. Carol

Comment from Sarabran

Excellent

You did a good job with this story using all the words in your writing prompt entry. I enjoyed reading it, and I didn't catch any mistakes. Good luck in the contest ! Sarabran

 Comment Written 29-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 29-Jul-2009

Sara

Thanks for the kind review. I appreciate it very much. Carol

Comment from jomwriter

Excellent

Great job incorporating all the required words and telling an entertaining love story in 150 words. I liked how you began the story. It pulls the reader in. The ending is also sweet and simple.

 Comment Written 29-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 29-Jul-2009

jomwriter

Thank you for your kind review. I greatly appreciate it. Thanks again Carol