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Flash Fiction

Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "I Hate You - I do!"
Collection of Flash, Micro, etc.

57 total reviews 
Comment from Comanche
Excellent
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wow--a rapid shift of destiny... Nice job working all the very difficult words into this brief tale.... Good luck with it...!

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2009

reply by the author on 02-Aug-2009
    Comanche Thanks for the kind review. It certainly was a challenge. Carol
Comment from Blaidd Drwg
Excellent
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Lovely piece, Carole. A fantastic short story, with a happy ending, and using all the necessary words. Very well done, Carole.

Kelly sounds like quite a catch. :)

John

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2009

reply by the author on 02-Aug-2009
    John Putting a story into 100 words was a challenge for me, but it was fun. Thanks again Carol
Comment from AmberRose
Excellent
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I enjoyed reading your work. You have a unique style. I wish you the best and look forward to reading more of your pieces.

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2009

reply by the author on 01-Aug-2009
    AmberRose

    Thanks for the great review. Carol
Comment from allinmyhead
Excellent
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You did a great job with this prompt. You no only met the challenge, by using all the assigned words, but created a touching and believable story within a very limited word count. Very tightly written. Very imaginative.

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2009

reply by the author on 01-Aug-2009
    allinmyhead

    Thanks for the kind review. Carol
Comment from cheyennewy
Excellent
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Hi Carol...you have written another outstanding story using required words. Teenagers go through so many painful stages when they are trying to grow up. Being a teen isn't easy but in this case it was worth it! Well done...good luck in the contest....blessings....chey

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2009

reply by the author on 01-Aug-2009
    Chey Thanks so much. It's difficult for me to write these limited word stories, especially using their chosen words. But I had fun and I am glad you enjoyed it. Carol
Comment from --Turtle.
Excellent
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Hi Carol,

At first, I thought Tommy was her brother!

So the middle of the story threw me off. Know it's got to be fast, but I do think this one needs some flow adjustments, as even though you point out 'your mommy dropped you when you were born'

I tell that to my brother all the time, cause it's funny, My male does the same thing to his brother. It didn't even occur that they weren't related until they were kissing.

But maybe I'm just slow.

Maybe parts you could trim to clarify other points, the age and the birthday party, The day came when Tommy, the boy next door, why does it have to be kelly's soft lips,

Ahhh... I'm out of computer time. something to think about though, cause I liked the point of the story.




 Comment Written 01-Aug-2009

reply by the author on 01-Aug-2009
    Turtlestage

    Thanks for the suggestions. It was just a silly contest that I got second place in...now if you'd been around to tutor me, I might have won...Lost because I voted for the winner, Oh well... Take care Carol
Comment from Clouddancer
Excellent
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Sounds like typical kids banter when young and then growing up after learning to appreciate.good use of the selected word telling a story that is familiar to all.

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2009

reply by the author on 01-Aug-2009
    Cloudancer Thanks so much for your kind comments. Carol
reply by Clouddancer on 01-Aug-2009
    You are welcome.
Comment from Kingsland
Excellent
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what a very uplifting piece of writing this was to partake of. It was just a well written short story with a great ending.It was just a delight to have written a review for... John

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2009

reply by the author on 01-Aug-2009
    John

    Thank you so much for stopping by. I appreciate your comments. Carol
Comment from Candis
Excellent
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Your very good at this kind of writing. Once again you put all the words in the right places and came up with a meaningful story that had just the right flow. I look forward to reading your work that doesn't have word prompts. Good luck in this contest too!

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2009

reply by the author on 01-Aug-2009
    Candis

    Thanks so much for the kind review. I appreciate it very much. Carol
Comment from Mariea
Excellent
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You've fulfilled the requirements of the prompt very well. An interesting shortie covering the drama of adolescense. A good read. Regards Mia

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2009

reply by the author on 01-Aug-2009
    Mia

    Thanks for stopping by and reading my flash fiction. I appreciate it very much. Carol