Comment from becky7777

Excellent

great story Teri using all the words and the limit of words allowed. a very interesting story with all the elements used, problem, resolve, ect. good luck in the contest.
hugs
Becky

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 31-Jul-2009

Thank Becky. Hugs, Teri

Comment from Nicnac

Excellent

A story told from beyond the grave. Wow. This is powerful and satisfying.
I'm glad the judge saw fit for the monster to pay for his crime.

Nice job incorporating all the required words.
No suggestions.
Nic

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 31-Jul-2009

Thank you Nic. Hugs, Teri

Comment from Readywriter52

Excellent

One just never knows how our actions will determine the rest of our life. If she had gone to work, he probably would have waited for her to come home and murdered her.

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 31-Jul-2009

Thank you for the review. Hugs, Teri

Comment from PoesyPoet

Excellent

Interesting story of abuse and the devastating effect. Glad the monster, at least for you, Teri, isn't real although he is for many. Good work, good luck.
Celeste

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 31-Jul-2009

Thank you my friend. Hugs, Teri

Comment from DeboraDyess

Excellent

Woah! It was a good read, Teri. I've always heard that if you call into work sick and stay home something bad will happen, but this ... Woah! good use of all words and a good tale. Blessings and luck, Deb

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 31-Jul-2009

Thanks Deb. You made my night~ hugs, Teri

Comment from lola29

Excellent

Wow! Seems the poor lady never had a chance. You did an excellent job portraying the wife who seemed very innocent and loving. Too bad she married a creature. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 31-Jul-2009

Thank you my friend. Hugs, Teri

Comment from EllieKaye

Excellent

Hi Teri,
I love the picture you used. It reminds me of how her spirit might feel on its way to heavan. I really think you did a good job with the required words too.

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 31-Jul-2009

Thank you my friend. Hugs, Teri

Comment from Begin Again

Excellent

Teri

He certainly did deserve it! A wonderful short short story using all the words necessary. Great job.

Good luck in the contest.

CArol

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 31-Jul-2009

Thank you Carol for the great review. Hugs, Teri

Comment from MissCellanea

Excellent

all kind(s) of jewelry

20 times Numbers in numerical form often stand out in prose. I'd suggest spelling it out, twenty.

When he went before the judge he gladly gave him a life sentence the creature deserved!
The wording here seems off.
**Standing before the judge, the creature received the life sentence he deserved! (and it saves four words)

Three cheers for the judge! Too often, they're content with giving a slap on the wrist and sending the creeps on their merry way.

Nice job giving the complete story in so few words. Delightful read. Sue

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 31-Jul-2009

Thanks for the review. Hugs, Teri

Comment from nora arjuna

Excellent

Nice entry, Teri. Well-written. Just check for this part:

When he went before the judge he gladly gave him a life sentence the creature deserved!

Because of the repeating 'he' it sounds as if he gave the judge the sentence. My suggestion:

After the hearing, the judge gladly gave the creature a life sentence he deserved!

good luck!

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 01-Aug-2009

I think I fixed it. Thanks for the help. Hugs, Teri