A Leaf on the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 53 "Changing of the Guard"Autobiography of abuse
12 total reviews
Comment from medicnate
Another very good chapter. I like the dialogue between you and the doctor. Too bad he had to leave. We'll just have to see what happens next.
Tell me abut(about) it,
~medicnate~
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2009
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Another very good chapter. I like the dialogue between you and the doctor. Too bad he had to leave. We'll just have to see what happens next.
Tell me abut(about) it,
~medicnate~
Comment Written 13-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2009
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Thank you. This is a common occurance with doctors and for some patients can be devistating.
Comment from Seraphim Delphinium
Smurphy, your story never ceases to amaze the reader. It is an incredible story and quite a compelling one as well. Your writing is remarkably clear and effective. Wonderful work. Seraph
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2009
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Smurphy, your story never ceases to amaze the reader. It is an incredible story and quite a compelling one as well. Your writing is remarkably clear and effective. Wonderful work. Seraph
Comment Written 20-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2009
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Thank you so much. I sometimes have to laugh, my story is pretty wild and hard to believe it is actually true. Again, thank you for your kind review. Just to wet your appetie...it gets even wilder.
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Hi Valerie:)
Your relapse is not hard to understand. Tina's rape and her subsequent denial placed you in the role your mother once played in family denial.
I realize you were never a denier, but without Tina's acknowledgment, you must have felt like your mother. You were trapped in a continual web of denial. The only way your subconscious mind could protect you from playing the role of denier, was to take away your memory. When you didn't turn to alcohol, you simply forgot.
Again I suspect that the encounter in the hotel room came about as your subconscious attempting to help you value yourself, one of the most important functions of family, but a value you never received even from Richard.
Dr. P was probably right to want you in a controlled environment while healing continued. He appears very insightful. No wonder the prospect of a new doctor frightens you.
Now I look forward to finding out how you adapted.
Roger
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2009
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Hi Valerie:)
Your relapse is not hard to understand. Tina's rape and her subsequent denial placed you in the role your mother once played in family denial.
I realize you were never a denier, but without Tina's acknowledgment, you must have felt like your mother. You were trapped in a continual web of denial. The only way your subconscious mind could protect you from playing the role of denier, was to take away your memory. When you didn't turn to alcohol, you simply forgot.
Again I suspect that the encounter in the hotel room came about as your subconscious attempting to help you value yourself, one of the most important functions of family, but a value you never received even from Richard.
Dr. P was probably right to want you in a controlled environment while healing continued. He appears very insightful. No wonder the prospect of a new doctor frightens you.
Now I look forward to finding out how you adapted.
Roger
Comment Written 20-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2009
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So very true The conscious and subconscious are always at odds in a trouble mind. Then add the knowledge that at any moment you fear you will experience another gaps, continually doubt that what you are seeing is real and you have a pretty good description of total frustration. Yes, turning to my family may have been pointless but old habits die hard they say...my subsconscious continued to want to give them just one more chance to come through for me. You seem to have a pretty good understanding of the human mind and its ability to adapt...even if its method is sometimes more troublesome than the initial problem. Than you for your continued interest and high rating. They are both very much appreciated.
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I studied neurophysiology in medical school and became an expert in medical hypnosis. I am also licensed in Neurolinguistic Programming. This all came about as I studied my own mental programming..
I think I know my way around the subconscious mind quite well.For several years I gave seminars on the use of hypnosis in psychologu, group theraphy and dentistry.
James Roger Callahan.
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While I am in no way an expert, my personal experiences certainly qualify me as "informed". The human mind has always fascinated me, even as a child I marveled at its awesome ability. Despite the difficulties I experienced, I came out of it with far more empathy for people with mental problems than I expected. I have tremendous respect for those with any type of mental illness and have no trouble standign up for them when they are made to look foolish or degraded vebally. Of course having a younger sister with a mental disability also helped. She is a lovely, sweet woman who now lives in a group home near Seattle. She is doing quite well too.
Comment from adewpearl
concerned about the affect this is having should be effect
That had to be devastating to learn her one consistent support system was being removed - without family to support her, this doctor was it! Again, excellent dialogue. Your story never fails to hold my rapt attention. Brooke
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2009
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concerned about the affect this is having should be effect
That had to be devastating to learn her one consistent support system was being removed - without family to support her, this doctor was it! Again, excellent dialogue. Your story never fails to hold my rapt attention. Brooke
Comment Written 19-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2009
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Thank you for you kind words and gracious help. I sincerely appreciate your time and effort.
Comment from jojosug
Being a parent often throws up issues of our own childhood, it is very hard. Again you've written another powerful chapter, which is as well written as the others. Are you going to publish when finished?
Jo
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2009
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Being a parent often throws up issues of our own childhood, it is very hard. Again you've written another powerful chapter, which is as well written as the others. Are you going to publish when finished?
Jo
Comment Written 18-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2009
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Yes, that is my hope. I sincerely appreciate your king reviews and continued interest. Again, thank you.
Comment from laurelp
That had to be a blow. Losing your doctor and having to find trust in a new doctor. I am sure the doctor was doing what was best for him. But, as a doctor, he was suppose to be more concerned about his patients. Bah on him!
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2009
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That had to be a blow. Losing your doctor and having to find trust in a new doctor. I am sure the doctor was doing what was best for him. But, as a doctor, he was suppose to be more concerned about his patients. Bah on him!
Comment Written 18-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2009
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It was hard but all part of life. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Wm B. Naylor
Very clear, very good flow to the writing. I had no trouble following in spite of my lack of familiarity with the rest of the story.
Couple items for your consideration:
I tried to get Richard to back me up, but he [remove the second he] still felt Tina was fine.
I am seriously concerned about the affect[effect] this is having on you."
"Tell me abut[about] it," he said encouragingly.
Author Notes
Having no control of her life during her childhood, has caused her to desprately[sp] need to exert control in her adult life.
Sincerely,
Will
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2009
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Very clear, very good flow to the writing. I had no trouble following in spite of my lack of familiarity with the rest of the story.
Couple items for your consideration:
I tried to get Richard to back me up, but he [remove the second he] still felt Tina was fine.
I am seriously concerned about the affect[effect] this is having on you."
"Tell me abut[about] it," he said encouragingly.
Author Notes
Having no control of her life during her childhood, has caused her to desprately[sp] need to exert control in her adult life.
Sincerely,
Will
Comment Written 17-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2009
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Thank you for your kind and helpful review. I sincerely appreciate it.
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
Just let me tell you, any person confronted with a change of doctors is, at the very least, put out. Unless their former doctor was a total idiot. For someone suffering as you had done, it must have been devastating.
Again, extremely well written. I found no SpaG or typos in this chapter. Well done. I admire you immensely.
Warmest wishes
Kat
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2009
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Just let me tell you, any person confronted with a change of doctors is, at the very least, put out. Unless their former doctor was a total idiot. For someone suffering as you had done, it must have been devastating.
Again, extremely well written. I found no SpaG or typos in this chapter. Well done. I admire you immensely.
Warmest wishes
Kat
Comment Written 17-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2009
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Oh yes, I was very upset. Thank you for your kind review and enouraging comments. They mean a lot to me.
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
Hi Smurfgirl,
Again, a very well written chapter of your life.
I suppose all who experience it react in different ways to early abuse.
The fact that Valerie feels that she must now exercise total control over every aspect of her life, and yet has these dreadful memory lapses, must be absolutely terrifying for her.
Does the real terror lie in the fact that she is not able to control all of the circumstances around her, and most of all that she is unable to control the nightmares, and the memory lapses. Is this a signal that her defense mechanism is failing?
In the 'background' section you have omitted the [l] from problem.
Kindest regards,
Juliette
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2009
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Hi Smurfgirl,
Again, a very well written chapter of your life.
I suppose all who experience it react in different ways to early abuse.
The fact that Valerie feels that she must now exercise total control over every aspect of her life, and yet has these dreadful memory lapses, must be absolutely terrifying for her.
Does the real terror lie in the fact that she is not able to control all of the circumstances around her, and most of all that she is unable to control the nightmares, and the memory lapses. Is this a signal that her defense mechanism is failing?
In the 'background' section you have omitted the [l] from problem.
Kindest regards,
Juliette
Comment Written 17-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2009
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Very astute. Yes, the need for total control of her suroundings is an impossible task and only adds to her already unraveling life. Thank you for your kind review and for pointing out the spag.
Comment from prodigal
Getting a new Psych doctor is tough. You come to trust the doctor even though they are only doing their jobs. This was a very well written chapter. I thought Valerie's discription of her dreams was well done. I enjoyed this one. I am not sure that is the right choice of words given the circumstances of the writing, but you understand what I mean. Well done= Sam
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2009
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Getting a new Psych doctor is tough. You come to trust the doctor even though they are only doing their jobs. This was a very well written chapter. I thought Valerie's discription of her dreams was well done. I enjoyed this one. I am not sure that is the right choice of words given the circumstances of the writing, but you understand what I mean. Well done= Sam
Comment Written 17-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2009
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Yes I do understand and thank you for your kind review. I sincerely appreciate it.