A Leaf on the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 40 "Two Steps Forward, One Step Back"Autobiography of abuse
9 total reviews
Comment from medicnate
Another spectacular chapter. Not a thing wrong with this one. Your anger is so easy to feel in the way you word your dialogue. Very good job. I hope you publish this. Don't be afraid to try.
~medicnate~
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2009
  |
Another spectacular chapter. Not a thing wrong with this one. Your anger is so easy to feel in the way you word your dialogue. Very good job. I hope you publish this. Don't be afraid to try.
~medicnate~
Comment Written 10-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2009
-
Thank you. I do hope to publish.
Comment from Seraphim Delphinium
Powerful writing! "You are not happy unless you are angry" really struck me for some reason. Human emotions are such a very complicated thing. It simply amazes me how the mother and family can exist in such denial, but having said that, denial is something many relationships thrive on--such as the case here. In the absence of denial, there is nothing left but the truth. Wonderful work! Seraph~
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2009
|
Powerful writing! "You are not happy unless you are angry" really struck me for some reason. Human emotions are such a very complicated thing. It simply amazes me how the mother and family can exist in such denial, but having said that, denial is something many relationships thrive on--such as the case here. In the absence of denial, there is nothing left but the truth. Wonderful work! Seraph~
Comment Written 11-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2009
-
Thank you for your kind review and as always, encouaging words.
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
Valerie, this is excellently written, and very well edited. You have shown with great clarity how your life developed and the secret pain you bore day after day. Depression was inevitable really. No faults. Great writing.
All the best.
Kat
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2009
|
Valerie, this is excellently written, and very well edited. You have shown with great clarity how your life developed and the secret pain you bore day after day. Depression was inevitable really. No faults. Great writing.
All the best.
Kat
Comment Written 09-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2009
-
Thank you for you kind words. Difficult chapter write...digging up the past...but I've come a long way!
Comment from Lois Delaney
the anger I experience(d)
with my life(,) the past was
This is another well written chapter. I'm so glad you're keeping on with this. It must get published.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2009
|
the anger I experience(d)
with my life(,) the past was
This is another well written chapter. I'm so glad you're keeping on with this. It must get published.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2009
-
Thank for the continued interest. I also appreciate your eagle eye for grammaar and other nits....no excuse, just an expalanation. I am blind in one eye and dyslexic...lousy speller and poor typist...not the best qualities for a aspiring writer.
-
Smurphgirl,
I think you write so well. Hardly ever any mistakes, and I know what you mean. I'm blind in one eye and can't see out of the other. LOL
My eyes do pose problems especially with small letters and punctuation. I can actually notice other's mistakes, but my own is another story. Sometimes I wonder, how could I have not noticed this stupid mistake. But it's nothing we can't fix. Take care.
I hope you're having a great day.
Comment from adewpearl
Your descriptions of how Valerie keeps herself obsessively busy are excellent - the hours of yard chores in what sounds like a gorgeous garden, the sewing of the dolls and stuffed animals - it is obvious she is a person trying to keep her mind off what is really troubling her. You discuss the lifetime impact of secrets, but still she is not telling her own husband what is a roadblock between them. Your explanation of how the molester makes the child feel implicated in "our" secret is excellent - lots of psychologically telling stuff in this chapter. Brooke
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2009
|
Your descriptions of how Valerie keeps herself obsessively busy are excellent - the hours of yard chores in what sounds like a gorgeous garden, the sewing of the dolls and stuffed animals - it is obvious she is a person trying to keep her mind off what is really troubling her. You discuss the lifetime impact of secrets, but still she is not telling her own husband what is a roadblock between them. Your explanation of how the molester makes the child feel implicated in "our" secret is excellent - lots of psychologically telling stuff in this chapter. Brooke
Comment Written 09-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2009
-
Thank you for your review. This is a difficult and complicated time in my life...hard to describe but your words of encouragement have helpe...thanks so very much.
Comment from patwannabe
I just joined the community a week ago, so I haven't read the first 39 chapters. I don't know how many pages you've written or how long ( guess since she was a child) this has been going on, but why (maybe you have said) doesn't she tell her husband? I believe he has a right to know. It's strange jumping into the middle of a book as I've never done that before, and I'm possibly way out of line with my comments. I love your style. A painful situation is difficult to deal with. It's very readable and I'm anxious to read the rest. You have my "reading glands" salivating. Go, girl! Oh, I forgot! The plural of hippo is "potomi", not "uses". Also, please check on azaleas. They are a spring flower. Do they bloom on into the summer? I'm not sure Hurry with the next chapter. patwannabe
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2009
|
I just joined the community a week ago, so I haven't read the first 39 chapters. I don't know how many pages you've written or how long ( guess since she was a child) this has been going on, but why (maybe you have said) doesn't she tell her husband? I believe he has a right to know. It's strange jumping into the middle of a book as I've never done that before, and I'm possibly way out of line with my comments. I love your style. A painful situation is difficult to deal with. It's very readable and I'm anxious to read the rest. You have my "reading glands" salivating. Go, girl! Oh, I forgot! The plural of hippo is "potomi", not "uses". Also, please check on azaleas. They are a spring flower. Do they bloom on into the summer? I'm not sure Hurry with the next chapter. patwannabe
Comment Written 09-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2009
-
Good questions...In Seattle azaleas often bloon well into the Summer...clouds, rain help. Yes the abuse began when Valerie was 3 years old. She lived in a family that was aware of the abuse but refused to acknowledge it. She had several experiences where telling someone what happened backfired and caused her to fear every telling anyone again. One of the points of my book is "the silence" and negative reaction she received when she did seek help. Also, this began in 1948 and took place at a time when there were few if any laws to protect children, it was considered a personal problem to be dealt with internally, by the family. There were no councelours, self-help books or TV Talk Show Hosts talking openly about the subject. Richard is a very quiet, gentle man. Valerie married him for all the wrong reasons. She was looking for a quiet place to hide and found it in Richard. Whether or not he would have understood remains an unanswered question for the time being. Fear is a powerful reason to remain silent. Thanks for the review and high rating. I will correct the plural of hippo to "potomi".
Comment from MJMuraco
Your chapter is well written and clearly sends your anger and frustration forth. Abuse like you endured never goes away completely. You have to release your anger and I hope writing helps do that for you. Your imagery was good in creating the scene.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2009
|
Your chapter is well written and clearly sends your anger and frustration forth. Abuse like you endured never goes away completely. You have to release your anger and I hope writing helps do that for you. Your imagery was good in creating the scene.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2009
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from rhymer1
the entire chapter from the POV of your principal character is a lesson to all writers on the craft of character development through introspection. The scant dialog contributes just the right amout to spe=ice the chapter with a little action. Slainjte, rhymer1
The truth was something I demanded from everyone but the real truth was, I was guilty of lying to myself. Despite years of telling myself otherwise, I really didn't have a very high opinion of myself. - Great introspection and character development.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2009
|
the entire chapter from the POV of your principal character is a lesson to all writers on the craft of character development through introspection. The scant dialog contributes just the right amout to spe=ice the chapter with a little action. Slainjte, rhymer1
The truth was something I demanded from everyone but the real truth was, I was guilty of lying to myself. Despite years of telling myself otherwise, I really didn't have a very high opinion of myself. - Great introspection and character development.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2009
-
Thank you for your kind words. This was a difficult chapter because it was primarily narative. I am pleased you felt it worked.
Comment from laurelp
A hard way to live ones life. How you survived this is truly amazing. This chapter tells me alot more about what you are not saying. You were thinking it was your fault which is wasn't. But, that is a hard thing to convince a true victim as yourself.
I found no errors in this piece.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2009
|
A hard way to live ones life. How you survived this is truly amazing. This chapter tells me alot more about what you are not saying. You were thinking it was your fault which is wasn't. But, that is a hard thing to convince a true victim as yourself.
I found no errors in this piece.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2009
-
Thank you. I have said this before, but I truly appreciate your comments.