A Leaf on the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 31 "Daddy Loves Me"Autobiography of abuse
15 total reviews
Comment from medicnate
Another great chapter. I found a couple of places that just need a paragraph space.
watch television.(need a space between paragraphs here, just a formatting issue.)
Walking down the dark hall,
He wanted to show me how much he loved me," Mary said.(another paragraph space needed)
Every muscle in my
Great work.
~medicnate~
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2009
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Another great chapter. I found a couple of places that just need a paragraph space.
watch television.(need a space between paragraphs here, just a formatting issue.)
Walking down the dark hall,
He wanted to show me how much he loved me," Mary said.(another paragraph space needed)
Every muscle in my
Great work.
~medicnate~
Comment Written 06-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2009
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Thanks again for your review and catching the spags. I really appreciate it.
Comment from Lois Delaney
Very sad indeed. I can see the picture in my mind. You describe it so well. I'd like to have a knife and cut that penis off just like I would like to do it to my husband. It is a sick world we live in.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2009
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Very sad indeed. I can see the picture in my mind. You describe it so well. I'd like to have a knife and cut that penis off just like I would like to do it to my husband. It is a sick world we live in.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2009
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This was a difficult chapter to write. I undersand you comments and agree it can be a sick world.
Comment from Seraphim Delphinium
Whew! What a chapter! This is an emotionally exhaustive read.
Smurphy, I apologize for I am too tired right now to pick apart the few spaggies that I noted. If you like, I will do it later. It's been an exceedingly arduous and tiresome day.
From first word to last, this story smacks with honesty and raw delivery. It delivers emotion with a Browning 9 mm automatic.
*shakes head*
Fantastic work! Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!
Seraph~
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2009
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Whew! What a chapter! This is an emotionally exhaustive read.
Smurphy, I apologize for I am too tired right now to pick apart the few spaggies that I noted. If you like, I will do it later. It's been an exceedingly arduous and tiresome day.
From first word to last, this story smacks with honesty and raw delivery. It delivers emotion with a Browning 9 mm automatic.
*shakes head*
Fantastic work! Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!
Seraph~
Comment Written 28-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2009
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Thank you for you excellent review. I think I caught all the spags so don't worry.
Comment from adewpearl
The conversation with the speaker's little sister is so well-written - and so realistic - the reader can see that as much as she hated her father for molesing her, she is even more disgusted and outraged that he is molesting her beloved and vulnerable baby sister. And when she tries to talk to Mary about it and discovers the father has already brainwashed her into thinking what he does is out of love, I could just feel her anger and frustration. The fact she has not murdered Daddy by now shows amazing restraint. Brooke
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2009
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The conversation with the speaker's little sister is so well-written - and so realistic - the reader can see that as much as she hated her father for molesing her, she is even more disgusted and outraged that he is molesting her beloved and vulnerable baby sister. And when she tries to talk to Mary about it and discovers the father has already brainwashed her into thinking what he does is out of love, I could just feel her anger and frustration. The fact she has not murdered Daddy by now shows amazing restraint. Brooke
Comment Written 27-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2009
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Thank you for your kind words. While the thought did occasionally enter my mind, fortunately, never acted on it.
Comment from Stacey Lynne Wells
I really liked this chapter. Did he kiss you like he kissed Mary? He shouldn't have done that. I hope this gets resolved for good this time and not just temperarily.
All The Best,
Rachel
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009
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I really liked this chapter. Did he kiss you like he kissed Mary? He shouldn't have done that. I hope this gets resolved for good this time and not just temperarily.
All The Best,
Rachel
Comment Written 26-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009
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Life has a way of taking its time. Nothing ever happens th way you want it or a quickly as you hope. Thank yu for your kind review.
Comment from chaswriter
Smurphgirl - Well written chapter. And the abusing still goes on with the mother having witnessed it. Not a good situation. Again strong characters and great dialogue. I enjoyed it though I want the wring the guy's neck, the mother, too. Charlie
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009
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Smurphgirl - Well written chapter. And the abusing still goes on with the mother having witnessed it. Not a good situation. Again strong characters and great dialogue. I enjoyed it though I want the wring the guy's neck, the mother, too. Charlie
Comment Written 26-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009
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Thak you for your high rating. I know what you mean, I wanted to wring their necks too.
Comment from WRITER1
Good chapter, I really wish someone would do something about that S.O.B. He needs to be cut down to size. No need for revision.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009
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Good chapter, I really wish someone would do something about that S.O.B. He needs to be cut down to size. No need for revision.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009
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Be patient...Thank you for your kind words and high rating. Sincerely appreciate your comments.
Comment from CameoRenae
Wow... strong story. I could feel Valerie's frustration, feeling helpless to protect her little sister, then frustration when her sister wouldn't listen. Very well written chapter.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009
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Wow... strong story. I could feel Valerie's frustration, feeling helpless to protect her little sister, then frustration when her sister wouldn't listen. Very well written chapter.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009
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Thak you for your encouaging comments.
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I gave you five stars! I'm not sure why it came out as four! I will go back in and change that... Sorry!
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Not a problem. Thanks for the 5.
Comment from jodeecee
picked Mary up//,/ and held her tightly in my arms. //In the dark,/ I
Leaning my head against the wall, //I sat/ staring blankly at the ceiling, my mind boil/ed/ing/ with a jumble of incoherent thoughts.
cup of coffee/./ /, then/ //I/ sat down and tried to figure out what to do.
Mom had already left for work/./, //But/ talking to her was pointless anyway.
pink cheeks//,/ and perfectly shaped mouth.
tired of fighting//,/ and tired of saying the same thing over and over.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009
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picked Mary up//,/ and held her tightly in my arms. //In the dark,/ I
Leaning my head against the wall, //I sat/ staring blankly at the ceiling, my mind boil/ed/ing/ with a jumble of incoherent thoughts.
cup of coffee/./ /, then/ //I/ sat down and tried to figure out what to do.
Mom had already left for work/./, //But/ talking to her was pointless anyway.
pink cheeks//,/ and perfectly shaped mouth.
tired of fighting//,/ and tired of saying the same thing over and over.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009
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Again, thank you for you sharp eye for detail. I sncerely appreciate the time you take to critique my and still give me a high rating.
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You are welcome! I too have a hard time with my own writings, I have a real hard time with tenses, and thought I have seen some wrong in your book as well, just so you know. I'm enjoying the book, and look forward to editing. Thanx
J-
Comment from laurelp
Right now a very sharp knife placed in the appropriate place on your father and then swipe. However, I am sure you didn't do that. The story is moving a long well, if I can say such a thing. The sad thing about all of this is that it is happening right now in too many households. How truly sad.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009
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Right now a very sharp knife placed in the appropriate place on your father and then swipe. However, I am sure you didn't do that. The story is moving a long well, if I can say such a thing. The sad thing about all of this is that it is happening right now in too many households. How truly sad.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009
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Yes, that is, sadly, very true. I hope my book helps at least one person see that there is, pardon the cliche, a light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you for your kind words and high rating.