A Leaf on the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "The End of Denial"Autobiography of abuse
18 total reviews
Comment from medicnate
I was up on my chair cheering when mom was bashing in Dad's head. Too bad you didn't take a swing for spite. Anyway, it sucks that the vindication did not come when all was said and done. I shall press on. Great chapter, no SPAGS.
~medicnate~
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2009
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I was up on my chair cheering when mom was bashing in Dad's head. Too bad you didn't take a swing for spite. Anyway, it sucks that the vindication did not come when all was said and done. I shall press on. Great chapter, no SPAGS.
~medicnate~
Comment Written 06-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2009
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Thankyou. I turly appreciate your continued interes in my book. Thanks for the help witht the spags. Like I have said before, denial is in my opinion a difficult thing to admit. She just wasn't ready to accept the truth.
Comment from Lois Delaney
Maybe it was because Colleen had those other problems with developing normally. No matter, I can imagine the hurt it must have caused. So sad to have a mother who could care less or make you feel that way at any rate.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2009
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Maybe it was because Colleen had those other problems with developing normally. No matter, I can imagine the hurt it must have caused. So sad to have a mother who could care less or make you feel that way at any rate.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2009
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You are correct. My mother doted, understandably, on Colleen and in her eyes she was "innocent" and catching my father with her was a real shock. It is one thing to hear about it, and another to witness it.
Comment from adewpearl
What a dramatic scene, to see the mother beating the father after catching him in the act with the baby sister - and you convey so well the speaker's outrage that this is what she had told the mother about so many many times in the past only to be denied or ignored. This is all so tragic and so exceptionally well depicted. Brooke
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2009
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What a dramatic scene, to see the mother beating the father after catching him in the act with the baby sister - and you convey so well the speaker's outrage that this is what she had told the mother about so many many times in the past only to be denied or ignored. This is all so tragic and so exceptionally well depicted. Brooke
Comment Written 27-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2009
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Seraphim Delphinium
Denial. Denial. Denial. How strong is the mind that one cannot see--refuses to see--the truth? The story line is compelling and the voice exceptionally authentic. Again, the emotions of the protagonist simply leap off of the page. Superb writing. Seraph~
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2009
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Denial. Denial. Denial. How strong is the mind that one cannot see--refuses to see--the truth? The story line is compelling and the voice exceptionally authentic. Again, the emotions of the protagonist simply leap off of the page. Superb writing. Seraph~
Comment Written 25-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2009
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I am running out of ways to thank you for your encouraging reviews. Saying thank you just dosn't seem to cover it.
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You need not worry about that! The world needs to hear your exceptional story, my friend.
Comment from FredCollingwood
Wow! this one is emotional. I can't imagine anyhting moe damaging to a girl. A couple of minor things:
mother catches him molessting her younger > molesting
Mixed in with the anger, I( )felt the ugly head of jealousy appear. I was glad Mom > remove extra space
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2009
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Wow! this one is emotional. I can't imagine anyhting moe damaging to a girl. A couple of minor things:
mother catches him molessting her younger > molesting
Mixed in with the anger, I( )felt the ugly head of jealousy appear. I was glad Mom > remove extra space
Comment Written 25-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2009
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Thanks for catching the typos. I appreciate your high rating. You know, Bincio del Torro would make a great Mathew...he's just have to work on getting rid of his accent.
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He would be good. I'm not sure who I would use, if I had a choice.
Comment from Stacey Lynne Wells
Hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah! Thank God! I am so glad she caught him finally. This book is very interesting. I am very happy for you and your sister. I hope everything goes well forya and I'll continue reading your book because it's very interesting.
Rachel
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2009
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Hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah! Thank God! I am so glad she caught him finally. This book is very interesting. I am very happy for you and your sister. I hope everything goes well forya and I'll continue reading your book because it's very interesting.
Rachel
Comment Written 25-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2009
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I am pleased you liked this chapter. I appreciate your enthusiasm and high rating.
Comment from jodeecee
I sat her down on the couch/,/ and /cut:I/ went back into the kitchen to get her a glass of water. Daddy was still on the floor whimpering like a baby. I grabbed a dishtowel from the counter and threw it at him.
He pressed the towel against his head, glanced up at me/,/ and laughed. I looked at the pan struggling with the temptation to hit him with it myself. Instead, /repeated:I threw a wet dishcloth/ at him and said,
Mom and I packed a suitcase and put the girls into the car. Standing in front of the car, Daddy begged mom not to leave.
"Come on, Shirley. Come back inside so we can talk about this," he begged.
Mom put the car in reverse/,/ and// stepped on the gas, (it just seems to sound better with that sentence, just a suggestion)
We stayed in a motel that night/./and //cut:We/ ordered a pizza/./ /cut:and /A/after tucking the girls into bed, mom and I watched television in silence.
Check your 'moms' I noticed several needing caps. / and 'anger' I know it is the best choice, but there are a few places you could use other words, maybe, such as rage, fury, irate, furious, fuming, seething, livid.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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I sat her down on the couch/,/ and /cut:I/ went back into the kitchen to get her a glass of water. Daddy was still on the floor whimpering like a baby. I grabbed a dishtowel from the counter and threw it at him.
He pressed the towel against his head, glanced up at me/,/ and laughed. I looked at the pan struggling with the temptation to hit him with it myself. Instead, /repeated:I threw a wet dishcloth/ at him and said,
Mom and I packed a suitcase and put the girls into the car. Standing in front of the car, Daddy begged mom not to leave.
"Come on, Shirley. Come back inside so we can talk about this," he begged.
Mom put the car in reverse/,/ and// stepped on the gas, (it just seems to sound better with that sentence, just a suggestion)
We stayed in a motel that night/./and //cut:We/ ordered a pizza/./ /cut:and /A/after tucking the girls into bed, mom and I watched television in silence.
Check your 'moms' I noticed several needing caps. / and 'anger' I know it is the best choice, but there are a few places you could use other words, maybe, such as rage, fury, irate, furious, fuming, seething, livid.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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Have you ever considered getting a job as a profesional editor? I am serious. You have an eye for detail. I sncerely appreciate the time you take to critique my work. Thank you for the excelent suggestions and another high rating.
Comment from laurelp
There really is no vindication in life. No one will ever see things like you see it, no matter what. Cutting off his male part would come closer, but even that didn't get accomplished.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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There really is no vindication in life. No one will ever see things like you see it, no matter what. Cutting off his male part would come closer, but even that didn't get accomplished.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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You work with what you have...my life is a blueprint for suvival. I agree there neve is vindication, but there is resolution. Thank you for your kind words, and high rating.
Comment from oledihard
You are an awesome writer and have a great story line going. I found a few things you might like to correct.
1. "Speaking my mind had never been a problem for me (,)but (,)for once I had nothing to say." (check your comma spacing)
2. "The relief I (,)expected eluded me." (check comma sapcing)
3. "Mixed with the (ange) (,)I felt the ungly..."
4. "Do you think (jealousy is the right word here? (I thought something stronger since it is about sexual child abuse) It kind of threw me, but then this may be how you intend it to be. I haven't read the frist chapters so excuse me if I messed up here.
5. "...why she didn't believe me when I told( )her what he was doing." (spacing)
I will be looking forward to the next chapter. You write this with a great hook and with a "I want more" reading.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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You are an awesome writer and have a great story line going. I found a few things you might like to correct.
1. "Speaking my mind had never been a problem for me (,)but (,)for once I had nothing to say." (check your comma spacing)
2. "The relief I (,)expected eluded me." (check comma sapcing)
3. "Mixed with the (ange) (,)I felt the ungly..."
4. "Do you think (jealousy is the right word here? (I thought something stronger since it is about sexual child abuse) It kind of threw me, but then this may be how you intend it to be. I haven't read the frist chapters so excuse me if I messed up here.
5. "...why she didn't believe me when I told( )her what he was doing." (spacing)
I will be looking forward to the next chapter. You write this with a great hook and with a "I want more" reading.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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Thank you so much for your helpful critique and kind words. I will go back and fix the errors you caught. Jealousy is what I felt. I felt anger and rage over the situation but I felt jealous that my mother took action when it happpend to my sister but not when it happened to me. I have another incident of "jealousy" followed by guilt in an earlier chapter. Again, thank you for your helpful suggestions. I hope you read the earlier chapters too.
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Yes, I want to go in and look for them. I'm trying to hustle money right now, ha ha because I have a post. I need a few more bucks then I can relax and go in to read these stories that have caught my interest. Your is one. I guess I too would have jealousy. I told my mother about my step-father trying to touch me and she did divorce him, but she made the comment. "You have always been a too, friendly little girl." WHAT THE HECK IS THAT? Ok, well why not tell me not to talk to people or something constructive? That, pissed me off! Well, I will be reading sweetie. Love ya, Kandie
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Take your time. The chapters will be there for quite some time.
Comment from jojosug
The end of abuse of creates a new set of problems, as the feelings never go away. You have caught this so clearly in your writing. An excellent piece of work.
Jo
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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The end of abuse of creates a new set of problems, as the feelings never go away. You have caught this so clearly in your writing. An excellent piece of work.
Jo
Comment Written 24-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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Thank you for knowing exactly what I was trying to say. As a child I clearly expected life to be perfect once the tuth was know...the new set of problems is the perfect summation of this chapter. Thank you for your kind review and high rating.