Reviews from

A Leaf on the Wind

Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Undeniable Proof"
Autobiography of abuse

10 total reviews 
Comment from medicnate
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Uh oh. I can feel the apology coming already. Very sad situation. Mother in denial. This chapter flows along smoothly and envelopes the reader. It has my complete and undeniable attention. I shall read on.

Great work here.

~medicnate~

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2009


reply by the author on 05-Apr-2009
    Thanks for the continued interest. I truly appreciate your kind reviews and high rating.
Comment from Lois Delaney
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Thank God for tape recorders. I wished I had thought of putting it on when I should have. But who knows when the time is right. No nits here that I noticed.

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2009


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2009
    Pure luck. Thank God my father loved to talk! Thanks for your high review.
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is well written. The dialogue is good, as is the interplay between you and Teresa. As for the content, well...actually my blood runs cold. On the surface, it seems your loving Mum is shocked and enraged and will make it stop. However, as an abused child myself (one without a Mum who gave a damn) I am worried. I MUST read the next chapter. I know how manipulative these abusers are and find myself wondering what excuses he will present your Mum with to persuade her he has done nothing wrong.
You're doing a great job, keep going girl.
All blessings
Kat

 Comment Written 14-Feb-2009


reply by the author on 14-Feb-2009
    Thank you for your comments. Yes, a difficult chapter to write but necessary. I understand your apprehension. I am pleaed you want to read more.
Comment from Stacey Lynne Wells
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Good for you! I know that was not an easy thing to do. If this was a fictional piece and I was the one writing it, I would have made the mom walk in while the dad is doing it. But since this is your autobiography, I only hope that eventually happens. Great chapter.

Rachel

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2009


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2009
    Thank you for your kind words. I appreciat you comments.
Comment from jodeecee
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A couple of months ago I told Mom/,/that/ Daddy was saying disgusting things to me and I wanted her to make him stop."
Again, no problems, great chapter.

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2009


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2009
    Again, thank you. I should start calling you Eagle Eye...
Comment from princess_3491
Average
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Ok. Too much dialogue. Try to shorten it to about only ten lines of dialogue as it seems there is a very long conversation. I think it is ok.

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2009


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2009
    I'll take a look at the chapter and see what I can do.
Comment from valeries26
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It was a good piece of work. You put in a few more details, like how Valerie reacted when Teresa told her that their mothe already knows - how she cried out and her body laguage. I felt the chapter went too fast. Oveerall, I do like it.

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2009


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2009
    Thank you. I sincerely appreciate your comments.
reply by valeries26 on 12-Feb-2009
    You are welcome
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I decided to go back and read this chapter - you have a good take on human nature and family dynamics - the mother has her moment of clarity when she hears the indisputable proof and gets angry and decides to have it out with her husband, but then we find out in the next chapter that her resolve all melts when he talks his way out of it - because she wants to be talked out of it. She believes what she needs to believe.
Another well-written and effective chapter.

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2009


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2009
    You hit the ail on the head! When confronted with something to terrible to believe, all too often the easiest way out is denial....Thank you for your helpful critique.
Comment from jojosug
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I can't wait to read what happens next, I REALLY hope he gets his comeuppance! Your story as usual is riveting and holds my attention completely. Well done.

Jo

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2009


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2009
    Glad you like it. Prepare yourself, the worst is yet to come....
Comment from shimmeringlights
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Oh, I hope mom really does something about it. Many mothers have known but didn't want to disrupt the family so they turned a blind eye and ignored what was happening. I know my mother did. Anyway, excellent write, only one error that I noticed:

it was sill(still) early in the day

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2009


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2009
    Thank you for your comments. The answer to your question was just posted.