A Leaf on the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "The Wonder of the Human Mind"Autobiography of abuse
15 total reviews
Comment from Siouxsun
It is amazing how the mind can compartmentalize things in an effort to survive.
1.O ne - first sentence "O" is separated from ne (O ne)
People who have similar childhood experience also have similar symptoms. It amazes me that with all the obvious symptoms they can t do more now to prevent or stop this abuse.
This is why I firmly believe victims make the best therapists. There is a 6th sense that just knows.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2014
It is amazing how the mind can compartmentalize things in an effort to survive.
1.O ne - first sentence "O" is separated from ne (O ne)
People who have similar childhood experience also have similar symptoms. It amazes me that with all the obvious symptoms they can t do more now to prevent or stop this abuse.
This is why I firmly believe victims make the best therapists. There is a 6th sense that just knows.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2014
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Ignorance and denial are the two major reasons why abuse continues...at least that is my opinion. It is hard to stop something that you refuse to see and deny it when you can no longer say you don't see it.
Comment from Jade Lawson
Oh My God, this is terrible. Valerie's did is abusing her sexually and somehow her mind is protecting her, blocking those moments, I think. The way he spoke with her was horrible, and what he did it is really bad.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2013
Oh My God, this is terrible. Valerie's did is abusing her sexually and somehow her mind is protecting her, blocking those moments, I think. The way he spoke with her was horrible, and what he did it is really bad.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2013
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Sadly, I never was able to block out everything.
Comment from Gungalo
Boy it's a wonder that is all she had. Valarie was so used to keeping secrets that this one was no different. She just didn't know what to do that's all so she escaped.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2013
Boy it's a wonder that is all she had. Valarie was so used to keeping secrets that this one was no different. She just didn't know what to do that's all so she escaped.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2013
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That's exactly what I did. I didn't know I was doing it for quite a while and when I found out I didn't know what it was.
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Sigh.
Comment from maxic59
That must've been very scary for you to lose time like that as a child, not knowing why?
Do you still have episodes like that now? Or can you channel them and have control of them now. Like to use it to your advantage. Like spiritually ascending to another times etc. Just interested :)
onya mate :)
cheers max
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2009
That must've been very scary for you to lose time like that as a child, not knowing why?
Do you still have episodes like that now? Or can you channel them and have control of them now. Like to use it to your advantage. Like spiritually ascending to another times etc. Just interested :)
onya mate :)
cheers max
Comment Written 29-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2009
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No, I no longer lose gaps in time. But I have taken up Buddhist Meditation which comes quite easily to me. I medtate two to three times a day. It has done wonders for my stress level. When I was a child it concerned me but it did not frighten me. I eventually figured out my mind was blanking out the things I could't handle. It was always caused by stress and continued on until my mid twenties. Sometimes I have to chuckle, when I say I no longer have the episodes I need to pause, because if I do, I don't remember.
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Hi
thank you for replying, I can understand as I believe in angels and meditate with them everyday. I also constantly read uplifting books about angels, Delai lama etc there is constantly a lot to learn.
cheers max
Comment from c_lucas
A child's trauma can be increased by a well meaning adult. In your early years, teachers were not trained in spotting symptom of child abuse.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2009
A child's trauma can be increased by a well meaning adult. In your early years, teachers were not trained in spotting symptom of child abuse.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2009
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In the 40' and 50' there wasn't even a word for it. In some states, it was't even considered illegal. It was a family problem.
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You are so right. The disease I inherited from my father was not well known, I suffered from well meaning doctors that did not have a clue as to the cause of my pain.
Comment from medicnate
Now we can see the effects of PTSD on the second grade you. I am sorry you had to go through that. In my former life I was a Paramedic and now I am a disability analyst. From a neurological standpoint, PTSD not withstanding, it seems like you may have also had some pseudo seizures. Although, it may just be the PTSD that caused the blackouts. I shall read on.
pain o n (on) the (formatting issue)
Great job here.
~medicnate~
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2009
Now we can see the effects of PTSD on the second grade you. I am sorry you had to go through that. In my former life I was a Paramedic and now I am a disability analyst. From a neurological standpoint, PTSD not withstanding, it seems like you may have also had some pseudo seizures. Although, it may just be the PTSD that caused the blackouts. I shall read on.
pain o n (on) the (formatting issue)
Great job here.
~medicnate~
Comment Written 04-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2009
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You hit the nail on the head with your comments. Yes, I did have the beginning signs of PTSD and eventually diagnosed with both PTSD and BPD (Borderline Personality disorder) which are similar ... both caused by severe trauma. I have to chuckle, I am currently on SS disability for the PTSD ... do you know how hard that was to do? It too 5 years and 7 doctors to prove I had the disorder ... Gotta love the red tape in this country!
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I was a Social Security Disability Analyst for 9 yrs. Both of my parents had to go all the way through the ALJ to get benefits and I grew up on a two disability income. I definitely know where you are coming from.
~medicnate~
Comment from Ouida
This is very well written and I feel so sorry for Valerie. She is being subjected to an awful lot. One comment: In the paragaph beginning "Interestingly, no one ever commented on the time I had lost," in the second sentence, I think you mean "temporary disappearances," rather than "temporarily."
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2009
This is very well written and I feel so sorry for Valerie. She is being subjected to an awful lot. One comment: In the paragaph beginning "Interestingly, no one ever commented on the time I had lost," in the second sentence, I think you mean "temporary disappearances," rather than "temporarily."
Comment Written 10-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2009
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Thank you for your kind review and also for pointing out the need for correction. I can use all the help I can get. Again, thank you for your high rating.
Comment from Lois Delaney
I could just scream. You were a little girl, but my husband did the same to me. He forced his penis in my mouth time and again. This story is bringing up some horrible anxiety in me. It's too close to home.
One nit
for anyone to notice my temporary disappearance
The only reason I think it's important to point these nits out is so that you try to get this published. You have my love. I, too, had some nun issues. But I still love them. They are not all bad, thank God. For you, it could be different.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2009
I could just scream. You were a little girl, but my husband did the same to me. He forced his penis in my mouth time and again. This story is bringing up some horrible anxiety in me. It's too close to home.
One nit
for anyone to notice my temporary disappearance
The only reason I think it's important to point these nits out is so that you try to get this published. You have my love. I, too, had some nun issues. But I still love them. They are not all bad, thank God. For you, it could be different.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2009
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"NIT" away....can use all the help I can get. I sincerely appreciate your comments.
Comment from Stacey Lynne Wells
Wow, this one is interesting. I was just wondering even though you are no longer a child, do you still have these time gaps every now and then? I've never had a time gap, I don't think so anyway. But Sister Sarah was really nasty about it. Then your Dad makes you touch his penis? Sick! That's wrong! I can't believe he'd make you do that! Well, another great write and I look forward to reading more. Best luck to you.
Rachel
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2009
Wow, this one is interesting. I was just wondering even though you are no longer a child, do you still have these time gaps every now and then? I've never had a time gap, I don't think so anyway. But Sister Sarah was really nasty about it. Then your Dad makes you touch his penis? Sick! That's wrong! I can't believe he'd make you do that! Well, another great write and I look forward to reading more. Best luck to you.
Rachel
Comment Written 13-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2009
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Thank you for your kind review and inerest in my story. Can't tell you whether or I still have gaps...but an explantion does come later.
Comment from jodeecee
just a couple typos-
Concerned, /M/mommy took me to see several doctors/,/ but none could give a diagnosis of what was wrong with me. They told /M/mommy not to worry and assured her that whatever was happening would disappear as I got older
When this happened, I often tried to reverse my thought process in the hope of retracing my steps. /cut:backward to the beginning./
I became suddenly aware that I was in my second grade classroom sitting at my desk. Sister Sarah snapped the wooden ruler she was holding again/,/ sending a second sharp pain across my shoulder and up the back of my neck.
Not knowing why it happened/,/ and never knowing when my memory losses would occur/red/,
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2009
just a couple typos-
Concerned, /M/mommy took me to see several doctors/,/ but none could give a diagnosis of what was wrong with me. They told /M/mommy not to worry and assured her that whatever was happening would disappear as I got older
When this happened, I often tried to reverse my thought process in the hope of retracing my steps. /cut:backward to the beginning./
I became suddenly aware that I was in my second grade classroom sitting at my desk. Sister Sarah snapped the wooden ruler she was holding again/,/ sending a second sharp pain across my shoulder and up the back of my neck.
Not knowing why it happened/,/ and never knowing when my memory losses would occur/red/,
Comment Written 07-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2009
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Thank you. Sorry if I am beginning to sound like a broken re record. I sincerly appreciate your comments.