CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 85 "Security Risk!"A collection of poetry
24 total reviews
Comment from prodigal
This very clever poem made me laugh. Then I read in the authors notes that it is a true story. That made it even better. Very well done- Sam
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This very clever poem made me laugh. Then I read in the authors notes that it is a true story. That made it even better. Very well done- Sam
Comment Written 25-Feb-2009
Comment from findingmyroom
Oh, what an adventure! It's a great way to tell the story, exclaim over little boys and give him his voice, too. Once again, a real charmer; good luck in the contest!
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Oh, what an adventure! It's a great way to tell the story, exclaim over little boys and give him his voice, too. Once again, a real charmer; good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 10-Feb-2009
Comment from bkrighter
Good story. It might have been embarrassing to you then, and embarrassing to Ryan now, but he did something millions of kids would love to do--some of their parents too.
Good luck.
Steve
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Good story. It might have been embarrassing to you then, and embarrassing to Ryan now, but he did something millions of kids would love to do--some of their parents too.
Good luck.
Steve
Comment Written 06-Feb-2009
Comment from jack silver
Ryan: "What's the big deal(?)"
i liked this one and yes it is the sort of thing little kids do. some times you just have to laugh and say "kids will be kids"
i have a two little brothers and one little sis that i look after and some of the things they get up to when i am not looking really does make my laugh and think about the sort of things i did when i was their age.
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Ryan: "What's the big deal(?)"
i liked this one and yes it is the sort of thing little kids do. some times you just have to laugh and say "kids will be kids"
i have a two little brothers and one little sis that i look after and some of the things they get up to when i am not looking really does make my laugh and think about the sort of things i did when i was their age.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2009
Comment from Josipher32
This was a nicely written nonet poem with all syllable counts in tact. Great storyline.
SPAG:
"What's the big deal(?)
No closing quotes. If Ryan is still talking, just finish what he is saying, and end the quotes on the last line.
Ryan: "What's the big deal?
Little guy was four.
It is only
a stupid
('ol) white
house."
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This was a nicely written nonet poem with all syllable counts in tact. Great storyline.
SPAG:
"What's the big deal(?)
No closing quotes. If Ryan is still talking, just finish what he is saying, and end the quotes on the last line.
Ryan: "What's the big deal?
Little guy was four.
It is only
a stupid
('ol) white
house."
Comment Written 26-Jan-2009
Comment from Minglement
Sounds like my oldest son! Very funny and believeable story. My son once set off a fire extinguisher while we were waiting in line at a restaurant. Not good. Great entry. Good luck.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2009
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Sounds like my oldest son! Very funny and believeable story. My son once set off a fire extinguisher while we were waiting in line at a restaurant. Not good. Great entry. Good luck.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2009
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Those little boys! Ha! They get into so much. Thanks for your review, Marcia. Have a great weekend. :-)) Sue
Comment from jeslaf
This is hysterically funny, and as an American, it's great to hear an Aussie perspective. It truly is just a big ol' white house, and why would a 4 year old think otherwise?! Mine have embarrassed me similarly on more than one occasion, though never in The White House!!! :)
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2009
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This is hysterically funny, and as an American, it's great to hear an Aussie perspective. It truly is just a big ol' white house, and why would a 4 year old think otherwise?! Mine have embarrassed me similarly on more than one occasion, though never in The White House!!! :)
Comment Written 22-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2009
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Oh, I had 3 little boys that were ALWAYS being "little boys"! HA! We do still laugh about this. Thanks for your review. Glad you enjoyed it. :-)) Sue
Comment from Dreamdancer
Big smile,
Lucky kid! I wish I could go slide down the banister at the White House! I wonder if they would allow us to toss around a football? Just a thought! Great write my friend and good luck with the contest... Dreamdancer
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2009
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Big smile,
Lucky kid! I wish I could go slide down the banister at the White House! I wonder if they would allow us to toss around a football? Just a thought! Great write my friend and good luck with the contest... Dreamdancer
Comment Written 22-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2009
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He IS lucky! HA! We still have a laugh about it and he's 29 years old! Thanks for your review, Dreamdance. :-)) Sue
Comment from wierdgrace
perfect perfect, I loved it. I think the artwork and the perfect poem is so cute, and I lvoed it. Structure so perfect for the contest, a great entry, and I did not see any errors, good luck
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perfect perfect, I loved it. I think the artwork and the perfect poem is so cute, and I lvoed it. Structure so perfect for the contest, a great entry, and I did not see any errors, good luck
Comment Written 22-Jan-2009
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Cleverly thoughtout - I can
just imagine the little chap
sliding down the bannister,
just what a four year old
might do.
Good luck with the contest,
Margaret.
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Cleverly thoughtout - I can
just imagine the little chap
sliding down the bannister,
just what a four year old
might do.
Good luck with the contest,
Margaret.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2009