haiku (gold-leaf gilded sky)
haiku 5.7.528 total reviews
Comment from joan marie
This was great and worked wonderfully with the artwork. But I had a difficult time reading the light yellow. I wonder if making it bold would bring out the words more? Eyesight just isn't what it used to be. Can see why this is an All Time Best. Traditional nature haiku. joan marie
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2009
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This was great and worked wonderfully with the artwork. But I had a difficult time reading the light yellow. I wonder if making it bold would bring out the words more? Eyesight just isn't what it used to be. Can see why this is an All Time Best. Traditional nature haiku. joan marie
Comment Written 12-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2009
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Thank you so much for your comments.
Hugs,
Jan
Comment from ChrisMcLaughlin
Wonderful closing line. I read the poem before I looked at the picture & your words skillfully captured the scene. I can smell the pine.
Thanks as always, Jan,
Chris
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2009
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Wonderful closing line. I read the poem before I looked at the picture & your words skillfully captured the scene. I can smell the pine.
Thanks as always, Jan,
Chris
Comment Written 11-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2009
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Thank you, Chris. Glad you liked it!
Jan
Comment from hyway94
As a truck driver, I have seen that view over and over. Always makes me want to just stop and take a look. But the freight must keep going. Some day in the very near future I'll be able to that.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2009
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As a truck driver, I have seen that view over and over. Always makes me want to just stop and take a look. But the freight must keep going. Some day in the very near future I'll be able to that.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2009
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Thank you! How beautiful it is, too.
Hugs,
Jan
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Your words alone paint a lovely
picture of the beauty under Heaven,
although the picture is truly superb.
A delight to review, my friend.
Regards,
Margaret.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2009
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Your words alone paint a lovely
picture of the beauty under Heaven,
although the picture is truly superb.
A delight to review, my friend.
Regards,
Margaret.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2009
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Thank you so much for your comments. I do appreciate them, very much.
Hugs,
Jan
Comment from malachi1206
Very nicely written poem says a lot in short and sweet and to the point syllables enjoyed reading this and reviewing excellent malachi1206
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2009
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Very nicely written poem says a lot in short and sweet and to the point syllables enjoyed reading this and reviewing excellent malachi1206
Comment Written 09-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2009
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Thank you so much. :-)
Glad you enjoyed it.
Jan
Comment from NUWRITERAT54
Awesome job on finding the picture, and placing these good words with it.
No change noted, you are doing well with poetry, keep up the good work, I for one really enjoy it.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2009
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Awesome job on finding the picture, and placing these good words with it.
No change noted, you are doing well with poetry, keep up the good work, I for one really enjoy it.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2009
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Thank you so much! Glad you enjoyed it.
Jan
Comment from luna
When I read the title I couldn't wait to read this! The poem and the picture certainly did not disappoint. What a lovely presentation for your (second?) post of 2009. Thanks for sharing with us, my friend.
Love,
Jenny *smile*
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2009
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When I read the title I couldn't wait to read this! The poem and the picture certainly did not disappoint. What a lovely presentation for your (second?) post of 2009. Thanks for sharing with us, my friend.
Love,
Jenny *smile*
Comment Written 09-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2009
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Thank you, Jenny! Yes, it was my second post of 2009. I'm going to concentrate on poems (to keep my muse happy) in-between writing my new novel, this year.
Hugs,
Jan
Comment from Josipher32
This was a nicely presented haiku.
Great use of alliteration, concrete imagery, grammatically correct interconnection of first two lines and separate satori on third line. Beatiful picture choice. The only suggestion I have is for the color scheme. The light yellow on the light green is difficult to read. Perhaps a darker shade of green on the background would help. Just a thought. Also, haiku don't really have punctuation or capitalization unless absolutely necessary.
Title suggestion:
haiku (gold-leaf guilded sky)
I think it would be okay to leave "Heaven" in capitals though. That seems necessary. Perfect 5/7/5 format.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2009
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This was a nicely presented haiku.
Great use of alliteration, concrete imagery, grammatically correct interconnection of first two lines and separate satori on third line. Beatiful picture choice. The only suggestion I have is for the color scheme. The light yellow on the light green is difficult to read. Perhaps a darker shade of green on the background would help. Just a thought. Also, haiku don't really have punctuation or capitalization unless absolutely necessary.
Title suggestion:
haiku (gold-leaf guilded sky)
I think it would be okay to leave "Heaven" in capitals though. That seems necessary. Perfect 5/7/5 format.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2009
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Thank you so much! :-) Glad you enjoyed it.
Hugs,
Jan
Comment from Lokman
Wow! Nice work on this to go along with the photo. We have a view similar to that from our house and I can sit and watch the colors change for hours, or at least til night falls. :)
Shea
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2009
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Wow! Nice work on this to go along with the photo. We have a view similar to that from our house and I can sit and watch the colors change for hours, or at least til night falls. :)
Shea
Comment Written 09-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2009
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Many thanks, Shea. How wonderful to have such a glorious view!
Hugs,
Jan
Comment from babylonia
jani,
heaven's reflection ... always beautiful to see. made me smile. easy to read and follow. no spaggies do i see. imagery is excellent. keep up the good work~
the picture is awesome to be sure.
love,
barbara
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2009
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jani,
heaven's reflection ... always beautiful to see. made me smile. easy to read and follow. no spaggies do i see. imagery is excellent. keep up the good work~
the picture is awesome to be sure.
love,
barbara
Comment Written 09-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2009
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Thank you once again! I'm so glad you enjoy my work.
Hugs,
Jani
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jani,
you are very welcome~
love,
barbara
