The Cyber Space Garden
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Sunflowers on Impact G"The garden of peaceful serenity and beauty,
3 total reviews
Comment from EllieKaye
Hi Lynar-
I enjoyed your poem, and this is how I interpreted your lines:
My eyes turn within its sockets, (inner searching)
Light and shadow bounce upon its
stems and leaves, (Is this a good/evil reference? The influences in life?)
Petals in theme repetition sparkles
like crystal gems in cosmic light, (hope and goodness reign?)
Okay, I'm likely way off, but thought I'd give it a shot.
: ) Ellie
Sunflowers are brought to life.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2008
  |
Hi Lynar-
I enjoyed your poem, and this is how I interpreted your lines:
My eyes turn within its sockets, (inner searching)
Light and shadow bounce upon its
stems and leaves, (Is this a good/evil reference? The influences in life?)
Petals in theme repetition sparkles
like crystal gems in cosmic light, (hope and goodness reign?)
Okay, I'm likely way off, but thought I'd give it a shot.
: ) Ellie
Sunflowers are brought to life.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2008
-
Humble thanks, EllieKaye
Comment from Domino
ADDED; Re-rated after edits.
Hi there.
Firstly, your 'background' notes at the top are virtually invisible in black.
'My eyes turn within its [THEIR]sockets,
Light and shadow bounce upon its
stems and leaves,
Petals in theme repetition sparkles [SPARKLE]
like crystal gems in cosmic light,
Sunflowers are brought to life.
iF YOU EDIT AND pm ME I'LL RE-RATE. Best wishes, Ray xx
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2008
|
ADDED; Re-rated after edits.
Hi there.
Firstly, your 'background' notes at the top are virtually invisible in black.
'My eyes turn within its [THEIR]sockets,
Light and shadow bounce upon its
stems and leaves,
Petals in theme repetition sparkles [SPARKLE]
like crystal gems in cosmic light,
Sunflowers are brought to life.
iF YOU EDIT AND pm ME I'LL RE-RATE. Best wishes, Ray xx
Comment Written 12-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2008
-
I will edit. Humble thanks, Domino
-
Well done. I've re-rated. ray xx
-
Humble Thanks, Domino
Comment from jamar2
My eyes turn within its sockets, should the it's be "their" And for me a reader the colour background was to dark I could not see your wording properly. apart from those comments the poem was very clear and direct.
jamar
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2008
 |
My eyes turn within its sockets, should the it's be "their" And for me a reader the colour background was to dark I could not see your wording properly. apart from those comments the poem was very clear and direct.
jamar
Comment Written 12-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2008
-
Humble thanks, jamar2