The Face of Suffering
Viewing comments for Prologue "Before The Ravishes"Criminal neglect
8 total reviews
Comment from mtngalofnc
Hi L&P,
I think you are right. If we have negative thoughts then it does have a negative effect on our health. You have a very strong message in your poem. It is a message we could all learn from. Thank you for sharing this and God bless and best wishes!
mtngalofnc
PS. Patti was a beautiful girl, just like her mom!
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2008
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Hi L&P,
I think you are right. If we have negative thoughts then it does have a negative effect on our health. You have a very strong message in your poem. It is a message we could all learn from. Thank you for sharing this and God bless and best wishes!
mtngalofnc
PS. Patti was a beautiful girl, just like her mom!
Comment Written 07-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2008
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Aww, you're so sweet thank you. she was a beauty, much more so then her mom. Blessings dear friend. L&P2u
Comment from rmdelta
Barbara,
This is a well written poem, great stanzas. I seldom understand most of the poetry out there, you know the ones I mean? 6 word poems Hiku and shaku an all other things ending in u. I can sometimes understand nicely written poetry that rhymes, even then however, some of those are way over my head.
This one you wrote, has a mixture of rhyme and some that doesn't. I understook clearly your message. I must admit the last line threw me off. I think it would have been much more powerful had it read, 'when it ate my sweet daughter's life.' The way you have it 'ate my sweet daughter dead,' sound too cold. At least to me. Perhaps that was the way you wanted it to sound. Your call. Great poem either way.
Reggie
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2008
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Barbara,
This is a well written poem, great stanzas. I seldom understand most of the poetry out there, you know the ones I mean? 6 word poems Hiku and shaku an all other things ending in u. I can sometimes understand nicely written poetry that rhymes, even then however, some of those are way over my head.
This one you wrote, has a mixture of rhyme and some that doesn't. I understook clearly your message. I must admit the last line threw me off. I think it would have been much more powerful had it read, 'when it ate my sweet daughter's life.' The way you have it 'ate my sweet daughter dead,' sound too cold. At least to me. Perhaps that was the way you wanted it to sound. Your call. Great poem either way.
Reggie
Comment Written 06-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2008
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Thank you Regge. I think you would understand most of my poetry as it is generally written in simple terms. Yes, I meant the last line I think to be a shocker to get the attention I wanted it to have. I strongly believe her thinking wich couldn't be detered attributed so much to her untimely death. I know it was due to her illness. What cane first is the question? Her poor thinking causing the illness or the illness causing the thinking. The chicked or the egg as it were. Many thanks nd Blessings . L&P2u
Comment from amada
I do believe this is true, there is a strong connection between mind and body and it's mystical, we can't escape one another. My sincerest condolescences, again.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2008
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I do believe this is true, there is a strong connection between mind and body and it's mystical, we can't escape one another. My sincerest condolescences, again.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2008
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Thank you so much dear amada. Blessings. L&P2u
Comment from adewpearl
I have been following your book about your daughter's death, and this poem is a perfect complement to it. You make a most compelling point, that one's thoughts and attitude toward life have a huge impact on the quality of that life.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2008
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I have been following your book about your daughter's death, and this poem is a perfect complement to it. You make a most compelling point, that one's thoughts and attitude toward life have a huge impact on the quality of that life.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2008
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Thank you so much Brooke. Amen to that. I am trying hard to get my thinking back in line and succeed much of the time. Blessings. L&P2u
Comment from bluefly
Hi Peace,
This is truly a beautiful and emotive poem that capturees your love and concern for your daughter. Th esorrow and sadness in her affliction bleeds from your words, and I am sorry for your pain.
Scott
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2008
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Hi Peace,
This is truly a beautiful and emotive poem that capturees your love and concern for your daughter. Th esorrow and sadness in her affliction bleeds from your words, and I am sorry for your pain.
Scott
Comment Written 05-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2008
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Thank you so very much bluefly. Your kindness is much appreciated. Blessings L&P2u
Comment from lovemyta
paramoia might be either paranoia or paranomia. Paramoia is not a word. I looked this up in Dictionary.com and it gave me these two words along with several others but these were the closes to what you had. Your poem is full of heartache for a loving daughter. I am sorry for your loss. Poetry can be a wonderful outlet as you know. Good luck in the future.
I l
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2008
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paramoia might be either paranoia or paranomia. Paramoia is not a word. I looked this up in Dictionary.com and it gave me these two words along with several others but these were the closes to what you had. Your poem is full of heartache for a loving daughter. I am sorry for your loss. Poetry can be a wonderful outlet as you know. Good luck in the future.
I l
Comment Written 05-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2008
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Thank you so much love. The corrections were made. I appreciate the catches and generous stars. Blessings L&P2u
Comment from fayesh
I thought this tragic free verse poem about your daughter's illness was poignant. You did have couple of misspelled words:
1. (paramoia) gripped hard at her s/b paranoia
2. her thinking (poisened) through s/b poisoned
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2008
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I thought this tragic free verse poem about your daughter's illness was poignant. You did have couple of misspelled words:
1. (paramoia) gripped hard at her s/b paranoia
2. her thinking (poisened) through s/b poisoned
Comment Written 05-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2008
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Thank you so much fayesh for the catches, kind words and generoous stars. Blessings. P&P2u
Comment from eveeator
wow, such a very strong, sad, thoughful piece of writing, this covers in detail the terrible affect cancer has had on your daughter and how you saw it win through, she had faith but fear and resignation became the victors and you had to watch a terrible real life trauma that you were powerless to prevent, you are so strong to be able to now take and put this in the written word, helping to defuse yourself from the then to looking back from now, how very strong and I hope this will help you in some small way to move to that place where you can find some escape from it and peace, congratulations on succeeding to pen and excellent piece of poetry about a horrendous loss and part of your life, I wish you well and strength to keep on writing thereby gaining inner peace and strength to write even more working towards healing that feeling that part of you has been wrenched out, keep well and thankyou for sharing what must have been a very hard experience about your beautiful daughter yvonnex
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2008
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wow, such a very strong, sad, thoughful piece of writing, this covers in detail the terrible affect cancer has had on your daughter and how you saw it win through, she had faith but fear and resignation became the victors and you had to watch a terrible real life trauma that you were powerless to prevent, you are so strong to be able to now take and put this in the written word, helping to defuse yourself from the then to looking back from now, how very strong and I hope this will help you in some small way to move to that place where you can find some escape from it and peace, congratulations on succeeding to pen and excellent piece of poetry about a horrendous loss and part of your life, I wish you well and strength to keep on writing thereby gaining inner peace and strength to write even more working towards healing that feeling that part of you has been wrenched out, keep well and thankyou for sharing what must have been a very hard experience about your beautiful daughter yvonnex
Comment Written 05-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2008
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Thank you so very much yvonnex. Yes, it was hard. I so appreciate your kind words and understanding. Blessings. L&P2
