The Face of Suffering
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "The Nail Is Hammered In"Criminal neglect
7 total reviews
Comment from smiles_with_sunshine
>>>L>o>v>'>n>>P>e>a>c>e>>>
I don't think you realize just how brave a woman you are. There are not many who could have gone through what you did and not come out broken. Your courage is an inspiration to all.
Love,
trish
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2008
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>>>L>o>v>'>n>>P>e>a>c>e>>>
I don't think you realize just how brave a woman you are. There are not many who could have gone through what you did and not come out broken. Your courage is an inspiration to all.
Love,
trish
Comment Written 31-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2008
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Awww, thnk you my most precious friend. I don't feel so couragous.I will continue to search for the word program, before I write anymore on here. You know beside being dyslexic I am damn near illiterate LOL. I love you Trish my friend and thank you for being a part of my live and for encouraging my healing. It feels like it will never happen. Blessings. L&P2u, Barbara
Comment from mtngalofnc
Hi L&P,
I share in your sorrow as I feel your pain. It seems as if when our troubles are greatest and we are down the world can be a mighty cold and cruel. Your story sounds as if you were the victim of society's red tape agenda. A place where many of us finds ourselves these days. I found your write to be interesting and well written. Thank you for sharing and God bless and best wishes!
mtngalofnc
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2008
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Hi L&P,
I share in your sorrow as I feel your pain. It seems as if when our troubles are greatest and we are down the world can be a mighty cold and cruel. Your story sounds as if you were the victim of society's red tape agenda. A place where many of us finds ourselves these days. I found your write to be interesting and well written. Thank you for sharing and God bless and best wishes!
mtngalofnc
Comment Written 31-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2008
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Thank you dear frend. soul siste. Many Blessings L&P2u
Comment from Writewoman
I think it's important that you write this because it is a healing exercise for you. However, if you intend for others to read your work, you must proof your work for bloopers as in the examples below:
"filling" should be "filing"
"emergancy" should be "emergency"
"Ageing" should be "Aging"
The "ladythere" should be two words
"desided" should be "decided"
Have another go at this important chapter.
Barb in BC
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2008
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I think it's important that you write this because it is a healing exercise for you. However, if you intend for others to read your work, you must proof your work for bloopers as in the examples below:
"filling" should be "filing"
"emergancy" should be "emergency"
"Ageing" should be "Aging"
The "ladythere" should be two words
"desided" should be "decided"
Have another go at this important chapter.
Barb in BC
Comment Written 30-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2008
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Thank you so much Barb. I did have another go and appreciate the help. It is important. Many Blessings. L&P2u
Comment from adewpearl
nights sleep night's
a lawyers name lawyer's
lawyers office lawyer remember the apostrophe in possessive words
at lunch, I guess, and he add those commas
begining should be beginning
"You can't afford me." was that period should be a comma
legal aide should be aid
emergant should be emergent
hornets nest hornet's
left town, I was add the comma
emergancy should be emergency
she stated should be She
attorney fill the case should be file
vestible should be vestibule
workers phone number should be worker's
hospital, I began add that comma
Your story continues to be very gripping, but I was very distracted by spag
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2008
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nights sleep night's
a lawyers name lawyer's
lawyers office lawyer remember the apostrophe in possessive words
at lunch, I guess, and he add those commas
begining should be beginning
"You can't afford me." was that period should be a comma
legal aide should be aid
emergant should be emergent
hornets nest hornet's
left town, I was add the comma
emergancy should be emergency
she stated should be She
attorney fill the case should be file
vestible should be vestibule
workers phone number should be worker's
hospital, I began add that comma
Your story continues to be very gripping, but I was very distracted by spag
Comment Written 30-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2008
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THANK YOU BROOKE FOR ALL OF YOUR HELP. i SO APPRECIATE IT. i AM TRYING TO CATCH P ON MY REVIEWS. Oops sorry for the caps.Blessings, L&P2u
Comment from rama devi
HI dear sister. I see you are posting the chapters in succession. I am truly interested to hear your story, but it is not easy to read a work so full of spag issues, especially when one is reading as a reviewer. This time I will again point out spag, but I prefer to read the rest of your story when it has been edited.
"I was told I needed a lawyer to fill out the papers for me. I had no lawyer (COMMA) and very little money. I walked around the courthouse (COMMA) remembering a lawyers name on a building behind the courthouse. It was the lunch hour and the office was closed. I continued to circle (COMMA)looking for other offices. Seeing a name on one door (COMMA) I entered and found the office down a hallway. Opening the door, I saw it was a typical, well appointed reception room. I have always felt an air of mystery in a lawyers (lawyer's)office. His receptionist was at lunch (COMMA)I guess (COMMA) and he came out to greet me. Showing me to his office, he asked what brought me there.
I'm not sure if my reaction to the words, five-hundred dollars as a filling (sp- FILING) fee in the begining (sp- BEGINNING), not including his fee, caused his next statement. (COMMA) "You can't afford me." (DELETE LAST FOUR WORDS) was his harsh return.
The above sentence is very awkward. My suggestion:
I'm not sure if my reaction to the words, five-hundred dollars as a filing fee in the beginning, not including his fee, caused his harsh statement, "You can't afford me."
I left (COMMA)downhearted with his advice to go to legal aide. I knew my little bit of savings wasn't going to go very far. When I located the legal aide office (COMMA)I was told their case-load was full and to come back the following week to see what they could do. Nothing seemed to be going right for me. I returned to the hospital the next morning with the bad news. At this point the oncologist social worker suggested the hospital file for emergant (sp-EMERGENT) guardianship.(INSERT SPACE AFTER PERIOD)She felt it would bring about a speedy solution.
I later came to believe she took advantage of the scene in my daughter's hospital room to file, stating family dissension as a reason. (THIS SENTENCE NEEDS MORE CLARITY) There had been nothing but agreement in our family until she stirred up the hornets nest. I truly believe it was a deliberate move on her part to be able to take over. Since Patti's father had left town I was on my own. A couple of day (DAYS-plural)later I went back to the courthouse and asked about the filing. The Judge's secretary told me it hadn't been filed yet, and the judge didn't do emergancy (sp- EMERGENY)decisions. I relayed that bit of information to the social worker. In a conversation she had with my ex.(COMMA) she stated, "I can't believe a judge would be like that."
Guess what? He would and could be. She said she had the hospital attorney fill (FILE) the case, in spite of me telling her, "All of the people I was referred to agreed, the judge doesn't do emergency judgements (sp-JUDGMENTS)."
I was pointed (DIRECTED) to the office of the Department of Ageing (sp- AGING)by a helpful attorney in the vestible (sp-VESTIBULE) of the courthouse, thinking they might be of some help. The lady said she would see what they could do. She gave me the number of the public administrator who would be assigned to Patti when the case was desided (DECIDED). All of the people I came in contact with, or talked to, agreed with the statement about the judge. "He goes strictly by the book."
I went back to legal aide. They were going to see if they could help me somehow. I made the mistake of telling them the hospital was involved and gave them the social workers (WORKER"S)phone number. I soon was told they couldn't help me. Going back to the hospital I began to stand my watch again with apprehension.
Warm Regards,
ram devi
PS...
I am sorry, but it is too time consuming to review each piece with so much spag in it! I humbly suggest you us spell-check, and also perhaps hire someone to edit the work for you.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2008
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HI dear sister. I see you are posting the chapters in succession. I am truly interested to hear your story, but it is not easy to read a work so full of spag issues, especially when one is reading as a reviewer. This time I will again point out spag, but I prefer to read the rest of your story when it has been edited.
"I was told I needed a lawyer to fill out the papers for me. I had no lawyer (COMMA) and very little money. I walked around the courthouse (COMMA) remembering a lawyers name on a building behind the courthouse. It was the lunch hour and the office was closed. I continued to circle (COMMA)looking for other offices. Seeing a name on one door (COMMA) I entered and found the office down a hallway. Opening the door, I saw it was a typical, well appointed reception room. I have always felt an air of mystery in a lawyers (lawyer's)office. His receptionist was at lunch (COMMA)I guess (COMMA) and he came out to greet me. Showing me to his office, he asked what brought me there.
I'm not sure if my reaction to the words, five-hundred dollars as a filling (sp- FILING) fee in the begining (sp- BEGINNING), not including his fee, caused his next statement. (COMMA) "You can't afford me." (DELETE LAST FOUR WORDS) was his harsh return.
The above sentence is very awkward. My suggestion:
I'm not sure if my reaction to the words, five-hundred dollars as a filing fee in the beginning, not including his fee, caused his harsh statement, "You can't afford me."
I left (COMMA)downhearted with his advice to go to legal aide. I knew my little bit of savings wasn't going to go very far. When I located the legal aide office (COMMA)I was told their case-load was full and to come back the following week to see what they could do. Nothing seemed to be going right for me. I returned to the hospital the next morning with the bad news. At this point the oncologist social worker suggested the hospital file for emergant (sp-EMERGENT) guardianship.(INSERT SPACE AFTER PERIOD)She felt it would bring about a speedy solution.
I later came to believe she took advantage of the scene in my daughter's hospital room to file, stating family dissension as a reason. (THIS SENTENCE NEEDS MORE CLARITY) There had been nothing but agreement in our family until she stirred up the hornets nest. I truly believe it was a deliberate move on her part to be able to take over. Since Patti's father had left town I was on my own. A couple of day (DAYS-plural)later I went back to the courthouse and asked about the filing. The Judge's secretary told me it hadn't been filed yet, and the judge didn't do emergancy (sp- EMERGENY)decisions. I relayed that bit of information to the social worker. In a conversation she had with my ex.(COMMA) she stated, "I can't believe a judge would be like that."
Guess what? He would and could be. She said she had the hospital attorney fill (FILE) the case, in spite of me telling her, "All of the people I was referred to agreed, the judge doesn't do emergency judgements (sp-JUDGMENTS)."
I was pointed (DIRECTED) to the office of the Department of Ageing (sp- AGING)by a helpful attorney in the vestible (sp-VESTIBULE) of the courthouse, thinking they might be of some help. The lady said she would see what they could do. She gave me the number of the public administrator who would be assigned to Patti when the case was desided (DECIDED). All of the people I came in contact with, or talked to, agreed with the statement about the judge. "He goes strictly by the book."
I went back to legal aide. They were going to see if they could help me somehow. I made the mistake of telling them the hospital was involved and gave them the social workers (WORKER"S)phone number. I soon was told they couldn't help me. Going back to the hospital I began to stand my watch again with apprehension.
Warm Regards,
ram devi
PS...
I am sorry, but it is too time consuming to review each piece with so much spag in it! I humbly suggest you us spell-check, and also perhaps hire someone to edit the work for you.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2008
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Dear rama devi. I have had no luck with spell chk here. I am trying to find a word program in my computer and have failed so far. I totally understand and appreciate the help. I can't afford an editer, but won't post anything else until i find a remedy. Thank you sister. Blessings. L&P2u
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Hello dear sister,
You can use microsoft word.
Paste the text into the document.
Then press this keys on your computer keyboard: F7
that will bring up a dialog box for spellcheck and grammer check. Ask someone to help you if you find it confusing at first.
ou can also ask me questions about it if you enoucnter obastacles. i am glad o help, if i can.
Warm regards,
rama devi
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I haven't been able to find micrasoft word anyplace in my computer. I downloaded openoffice software, which helps with the spelling. Thank you again. Barbara
Comment from rmdelta
lov'n peace,
I revisited this story and see the corrections. Very nicely written story lov'n peace. Great job. I gave you 5 stars for the corrections. well done.
Reggie
this is such a painful story to be reading. My heart aches already for you. I don't know if you want corrections to your writing or not, but if you do, I have a couple of areas you need to correct:
'but I could fine no friendliness that day' (should be 'find.')
'She felt it would bring about a speeding' (should be 'speedy')
'descension' (dissension)
'In a conversation she help with my ex. she stated,'(should this be, 'helped?')
These are minor problems and your word check spelling should be catching these when you spell check there.
Well written story, Lov'n Peace. The 4 star rating was given because of spags in the story.
Regge
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2008
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lov'n peace,
I revisited this story and see the corrections. Very nicely written story lov'n peace. Great job. I gave you 5 stars for the corrections. well done.
Reggie
this is such a painful story to be reading. My heart aches already for you. I don't know if you want corrections to your writing or not, but if you do, I have a couple of areas you need to correct:
'but I could fine no friendliness that day' (should be 'find.')
'She felt it would bring about a speeding' (should be 'speedy')
'descension' (dissension)
'In a conversation she help with my ex. she stated,'(should this be, 'helped?')
These are minor problems and your word check spelling should be catching these when you spell check there.
Well written story, Lov'n Peace. The 4 star rating was given because of spags in the story.
Regge
Comment Written 30-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2008
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Of course I want corections Regge. this is an important story for me and I want to get it right. I so appreciate your help. I hope to be doing better with it in the furture. Thank you. Blessings. L&P2u
Comment from Nicky B
What is all this funny business about Ma. People sticking their noses where they aren't wanted. Reminds me of the time a counselor told us that it was better for Dad to stay at the hospital for the duration of his sickness. I was only eighteen at the time, but I quickly put the kibosh on that. I think it was the first adult decision
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2008
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What is all this funny business about Ma. People sticking their noses where they aren't wanted. Reminds me of the time a counselor told us that it was better for Dad to stay at the hospital for the duration of his sickness. I was only eighteen at the time, but I quickly put the kibosh on that. I think it was the first adult decision
Comment Written 30-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2008
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Hi son. as you now know from following this journal, it is about my daughter treatment prior to her death whick i consider criminal. Blessings. L&P2u
