Foxtales From The Front Porch
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Smokey's Lesson"Stories told from the heart
9 total reviews
Comment from Melica Xara
Cute story. I liked the way you described the layout of the camp and the way to keep a camp bear-free (most of the time!). Not everyone knows the importance of doing it. I'm an Oregonian and have camped all my life--I can relate!
At first I thought the pacing was a little rushed at the end but when I went back over it I couldn't see anything that I would change. Maybe it was just me rushing to reach the punchline!
Overall I think the story moved along well without an excess of words.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2010
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Cute story. I liked the way you described the layout of the camp and the way to keep a camp bear-free (most of the time!). Not everyone knows the importance of doing it. I'm an Oregonian and have camped all my life--I can relate!
At first I thought the pacing was a little rushed at the end but when I went back over it I couldn't see anything that I would change. Maybe it was just me rushing to reach the punchline!
Overall I think the story moved along well without an excess of words.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2010
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Thank you for the kind words. You might also like 'Fast Track' which is also about camping with the scouts. If you prefer humor, read 'Sergeant Gus' both of these are in my compilation 'Foxtales' in my portfolio. Enjoy!
Comment from Sarah_Goldwell
This is a very good piece of work. It is well written, well edited, and well presented. The flow is good and easy to follow, there are no adjustments needed.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
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This is a very good piece of work. It is well written, well edited, and well presented. The flow is good and easy to follow, there are no adjustments needed.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
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thank you for the kind words. You might also like 'Sergeant Gus' which is the last story of my Foxtales compilation in my portfolio.
Comment from Sissy Holly Grace
I liked the imagery of the scout camp and the way they all act in outdoors.A strange ending but one that added a bit of tension to the story. A most enjoyable read.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2008
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I liked the imagery of the scout camp and the way they all act in outdoors.A strange ending but one that added a bit of tension to the story. A most enjoyable read.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2008
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Thanks. It was a true story. Other true stories in my portfolio that were inspired by my time as a scoutmaster are Buzz Cut and On The Fast Track.
Comment from fayesh
I enjoyed reading the story, but I felt the ending did not fit the circumstances of a real live bear in such close proximity for one to be joking. A more fitting ending would be whatever happened after the "smart comment."
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2008
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I enjoyed reading the story, but I felt the ending did not fit the circumstances of a real live bear in such close proximity for one to be joking. A more fitting ending would be whatever happened after the "smart comment."
Comment Written 06-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2008
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sorry but this is exactly what happened.
A true story.
It wasn't a gizzley, just a black bear, so when we banged some fire buckets together the bear took off.
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Buzz Cut and Fast Track are also true scouting stories in my portfolio.
Comment from wazzo
You obviously had some great times as a scout leader in those days. And you are able to recall and write about those times quite clearly. As an old Englishman I know nothing of Smokey bear but I see the humour in Schwarz-b's mock horror and comment. youtell the story well. wazzo
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2008
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You obviously had some great times as a scout leader in those days. And you are able to recall and write about those times quite clearly. As an old Englishman I know nothing of Smokey bear but I see the humour in Schwarz-b's mock horror and comment. youtell the story well. wazzo
Comment Written 05-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2008
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Smokey Bear is the US Forest symbol, he is always depicted in a ranger hat and blue jeans with a shovel slung ovr his shoulder. He reminds all the children to be safe with matches and fires in the woods, saying in his gravely bear voice "Remember, only you can prevent a forest fire."
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Buzz Cut and Fast Track are also true scouting stories in my portfolio.
Comment from dportwood
I have to comment that joviality in the face of a very large bear may be a remarkable quality in a man. Some of us would not be able to appreciate such a joke in the face of the reality of the moment. Nice story, well told.
Duane
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2008
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I have to comment that joviality in the face of a very large bear may be a remarkable quality in a man. Some of us would not be able to appreciate such a joke in the face of the reality of the moment. Nice story, well told.
Duane
Comment Written 05-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2008
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A true story.
It wasn't a gizzley, just a black bear, so when we banged some fire buckets together the bear took off.
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Buzz Cut and Fast Track are also true scouting stories in my portfolio.
Comment from joan marie
Great gotcha at the end. Reminded me of camp. I don't think I ever worried about bears. But I could smell the campfire and the fresh air. Went on one Girl Scout campout and could relate to the cooking outside. Thanks for the memory and the great read. joan marie
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2008
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Great gotcha at the end. Reminded me of camp. I don't think I ever worried about bears. But I could smell the campfire and the fresh air. Went on one Girl Scout campout and could relate to the cooking outside. Thanks for the memory and the great read. joan marie
Comment Written 05-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2008
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Buzz Cut and Fast Track are also true scouting stories in my portfolio.
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Got a little surgery this morning. You should be on my fan list by now. Be back soon. jm
Comment from adewpearl
You have such an easy story telling manner - I bet you tell great campfire stories
Have you ever considered collecting all your scout stories into a book? I bet there would be a huge market from men who were once scouts and parents of kids who are now scouts. This is such an entertaining story with a killer ending!!!
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2008
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You have such an easy story telling manner - I bet you tell great campfire stories
Have you ever considered collecting all your scout stories into a book? I bet there would be a huge market from men who were once scouts and parents of kids who are now scouts. This is such an entertaining story with a killer ending!!!
Comment Written 05-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2008
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Buzz Cut and Fast Track are also true scouting stories in my portfolio.
Comment from Dianemae
Cute story. Nice to remember the good old days. YOu told the story, it would have been more interesting if you had 'showed' the story. Let the reader smell the fire, see the flames, see fear in the bear's eyes and then the twinkle in Jim's eyes.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2008
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Cute story. Nice to remember the good old days. YOu told the story, it would have been more interesting if you had 'showed' the story. Let the reader smell the fire, see the flames, see fear in the bear's eyes and then the twinkle in Jim's eyes.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2008
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good point about showing not telling.
I'll work on this this winter!
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Buzz Cut and Fast Track are also true scouting stories in my portfolio.
