Giving in - to Giving.
Conflict turns to trust30 total reviews
Comment from Korton
You did a terrific job with this one, ZeeZee, I can't even get warmed up in a hundred words, much less tell a whole story. The emotion of the situation comes through clearly, and the story is complete. Very well done.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2008
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You did a terrific job with this one, ZeeZee, I can't even get warmed up in a hundred words, much less tell a whole story. The emotion of the situation comes through clearly, and the story is complete. Very well done.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2008
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Frank, I appreciate the complement. From you it is meaningful. ZeeZee
Comment from Twomoon
ZeeZee..love the name, hello, found this entry wonderful! You had a problem, and drew to a conclusion..loved the play with the characters.. she was tough..smile. well done, contest entry, have a good day, much love twomoon
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2008
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ZeeZee..love the name, hello, found this entry wonderful! You had a problem, and drew to a conclusion..loved the play with the characters.. she was tough..smile. well done, contest entry, have a good day, much love twomoon
Comment Written 03-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2008
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Thanks for the lovely review. Nice to meet you Twomoon. ZeeZee
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ditto, I am from Elmhurst in the Chicagoland area! In England at the moment..loved your photo! hugs twomoon
Comment from Janilou
When I finish reviewing all the entries (which I have already read) I will be voting for this one. Your short, short story is one of the very few that actually tells a complete story. I loved the way it ends! Very clever!
Jan
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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When I finish reviewing all the entries (which I have already read) I will be voting for this one. Your short, short story is one of the very few that actually tells a complete story. I loved the way it ends! Very clever!
Jan
Comment Written 02-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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Thank you so much Janilou. I appreciate your support. ZeeZee
Comment from venusanblue
A nice little story. Thats a good deal on the 4 am feed. Thats the time no one wants to get up. Looks like a happy ending. Nice, V,xx
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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A nice little story. Thats a good deal on the 4 am feed. Thats the time no one wants to get up. Looks like a happy ending. Nice, V,xx
Comment Written 02-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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Thank you V. I agree on the the 4 am feeding. Ugh. ZeeZee
Comment from Terror2s
Excellent story. Now that she's goten that out of the way, you know the kid will sleep through the night. Good luck. This was fun to read. Terror
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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Excellent story. Now that she's goten that out of the way, you know the kid will sleep through the night. Good luck. This was fun to read. Terror
Comment Written 02-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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Thanks so much for reading and commenting. ZeeZee
Comment from Pearl Edwards
You have told your little story well and followed all the rules of the comp. Smart woman, giving up that early morning feed. Glad you thought the effort was worth it, for I enjoyed the read. good luck.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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You have told your little story well and followed all the rules of the comp. Smart woman, giving up that early morning feed. Glad you thought the effort was worth it, for I enjoyed the read. good luck.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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Thank you for reading and commenting. ZeeZee
Comment from nora arjuna
Hi zeezee. Interesting plot and believable dialogues. As I read through I couldn't help noticing some words which you could do without, eg. the repetition of names and shortening the dialogues. By doing that, you can add a bit of emotional display.
Excuse me, but I played around and came up with this. This come up to only 95 words:
"Don't bother telling her," Grace said. "I've decided to have an abortion."
"Don't I have a say in this? I'm the father, you know."
"Edward, you're a married man, or have you forgotten?"
"I want this child, Grace."
"But you don't want me," she said, disappointed.
He grasped her hand. "You have no idea how much I want you. She knows about us. We're getting a divorce."
"I'm still having an abortion."
"I'm still going to marry you. I love you."
Grace turned and looked out the window. "You get the four AM feeding."
"Deal."
Good luck!
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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Hi zeezee. Interesting plot and believable dialogues. As I read through I couldn't help noticing some words which you could do without, eg. the repetition of names and shortening the dialogues. By doing that, you can add a bit of emotional display.
Excuse me, but I played around and came up with this. This come up to only 95 words:
"Don't bother telling her," Grace said. "I've decided to have an abortion."
"Don't I have a say in this? I'm the father, you know."
"Edward, you're a married man, or have you forgotten?"
"I want this child, Grace."
"But you don't want me," she said, disappointed.
He grasped her hand. "You have no idea how much I want you. She knows about us. We're getting a divorce."
"I'm still having an abortion."
"I'm still going to marry you. I love you."
Grace turned and looked out the window. "You get the four AM feeding."
"Deal."
Good luck!
Comment Written 02-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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I must tell you how much I appreciate your taking the time and effort to redo this. I often want to do the same thing to others work and hesitate for fear of hurting their feelings. Thank you very much... It was a kind thing to do and shows that you thought the write worthy of improvement. ZeeZee
Comment from LadyMary
Very compelling story with a lot said in a very brief writing. The ending almost takes a turn from critically serious to light humor, ending much better than anticipated. LadyMary
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2008
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Very compelling story with a lot said in a very brief writing. The ending almost takes a turn from critically serious to light humor, ending much better than anticipated. LadyMary
Comment Written 01-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2008
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Thank you for reading LadyMary.
Comment from Readywriter52
Grace got pregneat by her married boyfriend. She wanted a abortion but he convinced her not to get one when he told her he would divorce his wife and get the four am feedings. Grace is really a lucky woman.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2008
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Grace got pregneat by her married boyfriend. She wanted a abortion but he convinced her not to get one when he told her he would divorce his wife and get the four am feedings. Grace is really a lucky woman.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2008
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Yeah, this is a fantasy. Thanks for reading. ZeeZee
Comment from miskko
You have tackled several potentially tricky subjects here (adultery, abortion, unwed-parenthood) but although you have used the appropriate words, it felt a little devoid of emotion to me. Perhaps this is solely due to the word-count constraints of the contest.
However, I thought you did very well in giving us a solid beginning, middle and a resolution in so very few words.
Perhaps I'm a little biased on the issue and that's unfairly influencing my opinion here, having been on the receiving end of adultery.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2008
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You have tackled several potentially tricky subjects here (adultery, abortion, unwed-parenthood) but although you have used the appropriate words, it felt a little devoid of emotion to me. Perhaps this is solely due to the word-count constraints of the contest.
However, I thought you did very well in giving us a solid beginning, middle and a resolution in so very few words.
Perhaps I'm a little biased on the issue and that's unfairly influencing my opinion here, having been on the receiving end of adultery.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2008
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Thanks for reading and commenting. ZeeZee