Foxtales From The Front Porch
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Buzz Cut"Stories told from the heart
19 total reviews
Comment from Cairn Destop
Now that was a funny story. You did a great job setting up the scene with something that sounded so reasonable for a teenager. Then when you came to the punchline, I was almost doubled over laughing at the idea of this guy being chased by bees. No SPAG found.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2008
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Now that was a funny story. You did a great job setting up the scene with something that sounded so reasonable for a teenager. Then when you came to the punchline, I was almost doubled over laughing at the idea of this guy being chased by bees. No SPAG found.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2008
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My stories are creative non-fiction
in otherwords I stalk my family and friends for ideas. So this is a true story.
one note= I could have said "his ol' man and the staffers guffawed" instead of the staffers guffawed, but it reads better the way it was written. That's the beauty of creative non-fiction.
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you might also like Broomstick Bazooka in my portfolio, and Drive In Banshees
Comment from Jnetgame
I really like this. I know the contest is over (I was in it too)but this is a great entry. I didn't notice any SPAG and the story kept my interest from beginning to end. Way to go!
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2008
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I really like this. I know the contest is over (I was in it too)but this is a great entry. I didn't notice any SPAG and the story kept my interest from beginning to end. Way to go!
Comment Written 17-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2008
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you might also like Broomstick Bazooka in my portfolio, and Drive In Banshees
Comment from poetalacarte
Yes Foxtale you certainly have the gift of the TALE, and I like the style you give to your stories, they have a certan fluency of word that practically leads one through the nose, like one would do to a Prized Bull in their way to the Judges. They are easily digestible and entertaining I think i am going to have to read more of your stories and probably in future....Join your Fan Club....!!!
Excellent. Poetalacarte,.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2008
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Yes Foxtale you certainly have the gift of the TALE, and I like the style you give to your stories, they have a certan fluency of word that practically leads one through the nose, like one would do to a Prized Bull in their way to the Judges. They are easily digestible and entertaining I think i am going to have to read more of your stories and probably in future....Join your Fan Club....!!!
Excellent. Poetalacarte,.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2008
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Thank you. I used to write for publication that limited to 850 to 900 words. I read aloud and pace around getting the meter right. (My first versions are alway 1,200 or so words, so I have a lot of paring away. Oh my God... the golden words I have sacrificed! I weep! LOL)
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you might also like Broomstick Bazooka in my portfolio, and Drive In Banshees
Comment from rmdelta
A very real and a very funny story of youth never failing to surprise us with things that they do. Well written, and I won't comment on punctuation because I never have commas, or semi colons, in their proper places. A slow,re-edit will eliminate any you may have. You are a gifted writer, and I look forward to reading more of your work.
If you have spare time one day, I would appreciate it if you might offer suggestions on my stories. I have 2. It isn't necessary for you to do it, but I would surely be grateful if you did.
Again, you are a very gifted author. Good luck
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A very real and a very funny story of youth never failing to surprise us with things that they do. Well written, and I won't comment on punctuation because I never have commas, or semi colons, in their proper places. A slow,re-edit will eliminate any you may have. You are a gifted writer, and I look forward to reading more of your work.
If you have spare time one day, I would appreciate it if you might offer suggestions on my stories. I have 2. It isn't necessary for you to do it, but I would surely be grateful if you did.
Again, you are a very gifted author. Good luck
Comment Written 17-Sep-2008
Comment from adewpearl
your skinny kid in the water looking like a rake rising from the depths - that is a killer line. a kid with flaming red hair who became a devil in the water - that one's not shoddy either! The ending with the bees attracted to his hair is hilarious - this story is precious!
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your skinny kid in the water looking like a rake rising from the depths - that is a killer line. a kid with flaming red hair who became a devil in the water - that one's not shoddy either! The ending with the bees attracted to his hair is hilarious - this story is precious!
Comment Written 16-Sep-2008
Comment from Annmuma
What a funny story!! Why do all the best tales end up in the same contest with me. I love it. No spag issues and should do very very well. Good luck. ann
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2008
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What a funny story!! Why do all the best tales end up in the same contest with me. I love it. No spag issues and should do very very well. Good luck. ann
Comment Written 27-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2008
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good luck to you too.
I haven't figured out; how do you find the stories submitted to a contest?
Comment from zeezeewriter
What a great story and childhood memory for Matt. I loved it. A great summer adventure. Matt sounds like a very cool kid. ZeeZee
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What a great story and childhood memory for Matt. I loved it. A great summer adventure. Matt sounds like a very cool kid. ZeeZee
Comment Written 27-Aug-2008
Comment from Janilou
LOL Poor Matt! That is some summer camp event! Chased by bees. I enjoyed hearing about his water-polo team events. Sounds as though they had quite a team!
Great story.
No errors noted.
Jan
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LOL Poor Matt! That is some summer camp event! Chased by bees. I enjoyed hearing about his water-polo team events. Sounds as though they had quite a team!
Great story.
No errors noted.
Jan
Comment Written 27-Aug-2008
Comment from DixieDarling
What a great piece! I really enjoyed reading it, I felt engaged and involved in your son's life... Really, I'm impressed! Really nicely done. Bravo!
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2008
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What a great piece! I really enjoyed reading it, I felt engaged and involved in your son's life... Really, I'm impressed! Really nicely done. Bravo!
Comment Written 27-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2008
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since you enjoyed Buzz Cut you may also want to read my "attack of the drive-in banshees" (you'll discover a prior generation was also prone to such antics!)
Comment from lawriemac
This is a great story.
I'm still laughing now.
I can picture the hair and the bees swarming around.
In a way, your son had a great idea which worked when he was in the pool.
I noticed no errors in this lovely humerous tale.
Best wishes
Lawrie
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This is a great story.
I'm still laughing now.
I can picture the hair and the bees swarming around.
In a way, your son had a great idea which worked when he was in the pool.
I noticed no errors in this lovely humerous tale.
Best wishes
Lawrie
Comment Written 27-Aug-2008
