A Momentous Encounter
some people make us feel better about life63 total reviews
Comment from mshugh
Good write - warm story and I will agree with you about New York (sometimes0
I went: "You know, - something is missing here - I'm not sure what.
"No [insert comma]" I said.
Well done
Michael
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Good write - warm story and I will agree with you about New York (sometimes0
I went: "You know, - something is missing here - I'm not sure what.
"No [insert comma]" I said.
Well done
Michael
Comment Written 14-Jun-2008
Comment from Eagle Eye Jerry
Hey yeltel
Lmao! Great little story I really enjoyed it. Okay, I'm Irish, so I automatically like stories about beer! But, and I am quoting Benjamin Franklin here, "Beer is proof God loves us and wants us to be happy." Enough said!
In Ireland, we are actually genetically modified since birth to choose the dark, seductive and delectible drink called "Guinness"
Over here, it isn't a wise thing to be hesitant about what beer you want, as someone is likely to rip it from your bleeding hands! If you ever think of visiting Ireland DO NOT do so around Easter, as there is no alcohol available on Good Friday, and the day before resembles a free for all. The World Wrestling Federation dudes are thinking of incorporating it into their matches! Documentaries have been made about this frenzy .. we do not suffer from Hurricanes, tornados, earthquakes etc ... but that one day IS our national crisis! lol
Anyway, I enjoyed your story. Although, I think you should change the way you tag your speech, but that is so minor and didn't take away from the enjoyment you felt in the store and I felt in reading this.
Well done.
Eagle Eye
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Hey yeltel
Lmao! Great little story I really enjoyed it. Okay, I'm Irish, so I automatically like stories about beer! But, and I am quoting Benjamin Franklin here, "Beer is proof God loves us and wants us to be happy." Enough said!
In Ireland, we are actually genetically modified since birth to choose the dark, seductive and delectible drink called "Guinness"
Over here, it isn't a wise thing to be hesitant about what beer you want, as someone is likely to rip it from your bleeding hands! If you ever think of visiting Ireland DO NOT do so around Easter, as there is no alcohol available on Good Friday, and the day before resembles a free for all. The World Wrestling Federation dudes are thinking of incorporating it into their matches! Documentaries have been made about this frenzy .. we do not suffer from Hurricanes, tornados, earthquakes etc ... but that one day IS our national crisis! lol
Anyway, I enjoyed your story. Although, I think you should change the way you tag your speech, but that is so minor and didn't take away from the enjoyment you felt in the store and I felt in reading this.
Well done.
Eagle Eye
Comment Written 14-Jun-2008
Comment from dmandre
Yelena,
I read and reread your story a number of times. I like it. It is a light story with the altruistic element being very clear. What I found confusing though was the last line.
I went home a different person. All the vice seemed to disappear, if the world had people like this. Life was worth living after all!
What vice? I also didn't understand, why life would not be worth living. Was there a problem? I hope that I didn't miss anything. If I did I will apologize. I guess I wasn't clear.
Don
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2008
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Yelena,
I read and reread your story a number of times. I like it. It is a light story with the altruistic element being very clear. What I found confusing though was the last line.
I went home a different person. All the vice seemed to disappear, if the world had people like this. Life was worth living after all!
What vice? I also didn't understand, why life would not be worth living. Was there a problem? I hope that I didn't miss anything. If I did I will apologize. I guess I wasn't clear.
Don
Comment Written 14-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2008
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Don - I take the point well, perhaps I should change the lines to say: "I went home a different person. The world was a good place if it had people like that"... See, Don, there is enough selfishness and vice in the world to get one depressed - and meeting a girl like that, reconciled me with the world. Maybe I am a little biased, but I survived so much tragedy for the past year, so much hardship, that meeting such a person is like a beam of sunshine in the world which is devoid of it.
I'll make the minor changes. Thank you for your honesty.
Yours,
Yelena
Comment from Nicky B
Actually to me this is a free verse poem. So I reckon you got it right posting it as such. Its a small idea that would be given more punch in that format. The sentiment here is well expressed and it just goes to show that the smallest of kind gestures can make a big difference in this sometimes unfeeling world. Well done. Nick.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2008
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Actually to me this is a free verse poem. So I reckon you got it right posting it as such. Its a small idea that would be given more punch in that format. The sentiment here is well expressed and it just goes to show that the smallest of kind gestures can make a big difference in this sometimes unfeeling world. Well done. Nick.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2008
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No, Nick, I meant it as a STORY. Putting it in poetry section was accidental. What is missing for a professional rating? Could you give some feedback how I can improve it?
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I know you didn't mean to format it as a poem. But thats how it reads to me being a free verse fan. Its not strong enough to hold as a story in its own right in my opinion. Remember this is my opinion, you don't have to agree. Its fine, I like it and it was good of you to share it. Nick.
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I appreciate your opinion, and love the workshop aspect of it.
Comment from heyjude
Yelltel,
Isn't it something how a small kindness can change our entire
day? I guess we all need to think about what we could do for someone to life their spirits. A good message about kindness.
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Yelltel,
Isn't it something how a small kindness can change our entire
day? I guess we all need to think about what we could do for someone to life their spirits. A good message about kindness.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2008
Comment from dportwood
yeltel,
This is a heart-warming human interest story that is expressed and worded very well. What a nice experience you have written about. I did notice a couple of things:
...in their their daily rush... take out one [their].
...exchange my ale to the beer... should be ...exchange my ale for the beer...
Otherwise very nice.
dportwood
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yeltel,
This is a heart-warming human interest story that is expressed and worded very well. What a nice experience you have written about. I did notice a couple of things:
...in their their daily rush... take out one [their].
...exchange my ale to the beer... should be ...exchange my ale for the beer...
Otherwise very nice.
dportwood
Comment Written 14-Jun-2008
Comment from Teri7
This is a very good story you have penned my friend. We do come in contact with some really good people at times. It's those times we can believe in life. Love, Teri
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This is a very good story you have penned my friend. We do come in contact with some really good people at times. It's those times we can believe in life. Love, Teri
Comment Written 14-Jun-2008
Comment from ThyLordDracula
Well done- wish more people were like that young girl- to do something nice for someone and expect nothing in return but a simple thank you- what a wonderful world we would be living in then- ^V^
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Well done- wish more people were like that young girl- to do something nice for someone and expect nothing in return but a simple thank you- what a wonderful world we would be living in then- ^V^
Comment Written 14-Jun-2008
Comment from Varlow
A well written beautifully described story. I could feel your emotions that you felt towards the kindest of girls. The world needs more kindness spread around.
keep writing in this vein it is much enjoyed
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A well written beautifully described story. I could feel your emotions that you felt towards the kindest of girls. The world needs more kindness spread around.
keep writing in this vein it is much enjoyed
Comment Written 14-Jun-2008
Comment from GerryMacNeil
No apologies necessary, for this is poetry of life! "My eyes almost filled with tears." I know what you mean, dear Yelena! The connectedness of all living beings is so profoundly moving!
One nit: " Oh, these sizzling isles, " AISLES, unless you're in the water. LOL
Glad to have read this. Gerry
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2008
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No apologies necessary, for this is poetry of life! "My eyes almost filled with tears." I know what you mean, dear Yelena! The connectedness of all living beings is so profoundly moving!
One nit: " Oh, these sizzling isles, " AISLES, unless you're in the water. LOL
Glad to have read this. Gerry
Comment Written 14-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2008
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Thank you, dearest Gerry. I am promoting this story now - let more people read this, many SHOULD. Astounding experience of mine, which reconciles me with life's ire. It's people who make us feel differently about things, and their interconnection. This girl last nice was a Rolls-Royce.
