Reviews from

Sundays with you

To my husband Dave.

53 total reviews 
Comment from phild
Excellent
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This is a beautiful piece of writing. "Impatient shriek of a tea kettle" I love this line. There is a wonderful feeling of contentedness and peacefulness in your writing. It was a pleasure to read and a treat to be given a glimpse into your life.

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2008


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2008
    Thank yo so much for that beautiful rendition, dear phild. I hope all your days be as precious, we all have special times.
Comment from savannah cat
Excellent
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Sounds like a special relationship. Written so beautifully, full of love.

Nice to see a family doing things that don't revolve around the TV.

Good Luck,
Savannah Cat

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2008


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2008
    Thank you, I truly appreciate your time reviewing this piece. The best to you, Savannah Cat.
Comment from nitad
Excellent
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Our circle is complete as we cling to each other in this day of nothingness and fullness.

What a beautiful sentiment! I enjoyed your story as I myself lay in bed enjoying a lazy, leisurely Sunday morning of reading.

Razor-thin minutes continue marching unkindly; the lovely day, unforgiving, sways away in spite my wishes to bring it to a standstill and make eternal this moment of now.

Ah, if only we could make moments like this stand still...

Well done, Nitad

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2008


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2008
    Hi Nitad, I thank you for stopping by and telling me what you liked the best. It helps in my process as a would-be writer. Keep on enjoying this day of love and peace.
Comment from Mzhurst
Good
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I envy your leisurly Sundays as I work every Sunday.
I made several suggestions it is your choice to use or discard.


This is the day when we tend our own vineyard and rituals of nothingness < comma we celebrate.

Outside our window, < no comma----could be a harsh winter,

Lazily we stretch and disentangle from our sleep and (we) by deleting We the sentence is tightened and a superflous word is removed.... begin our Sunday's routine:

We struggle to solve the brainteasers as obsessive word-nerd fanatics, trying to decipher clues as if they were as precious as elusive circling-in planets. The repetition of (as) in this sentence can be corrected by

We struggle to solve the brainteasers, trying to decipher clues as if they were precious,elusive circling-in planets.

From the kitchen, the impatient shriek of a tea kettle call < calls ---fiercely, and

After a while < comma---we retreat to the living room where tired, worded out, squeezed- dry newspapers are silently scattered on the annoyed floor.




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 Comment Written 01-Jun-2008


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2008
    Thank you Mzhrust for the great review and corrections. I made some of those corrections, those commas always pause me in trouble. Thanks!
Comment from akuabutterfly
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Dave is one blessed guy, as well as you. Thank you for sharing a Sunday. Please know that your reminiscence are delightful. A couple of perhaps typos-o: "they were as precious as elusive circling-in planets." Did I miss something or did you leave a word out? 5 phrases above the end: "inspite (of) my wishes to bring..." Ever heard the song, "Love is lovelier the 2nd time around."?

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2008


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2008
    Thank you for the great review and the comments, dear akuabutterfly.
Comment from wickednoodle
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Really great, well written. It makes me glad it's Sunday today! With two little ones at home days like this don't happen for us anymore.

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2008


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2008
    Thank you wickendnoodle for the great review. Those two little ones bring their own charm, I am sure.
Comment from davidray
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Good morning, amada.
I've been away for a while and don't think I've encountered your name before. I'm glad I did here. Good to see a little tribute to a spouse here. Nice job. Thanks for sharing. :)

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2008


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2008
    Thank you davidray for findinng my name. I'm glad you enjoyed this tribute to a good man.
Comment from SteveI
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There is comfort for those married in the simplest rituals of life from Friday going for Mexican food to retrieving the Sunday newspaper to watching an old black a whitemovie. The longer your married the better your skills as long as phones ringss with the wirest urned down as lowst wireyou css it

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2008


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2008
    Hi Stevel, I thank you for the fun and truthful review, and comments.
Comment from Ginniegozali
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hi amada,
a really lovely,
doing that routine will never make us bored just because we do it with or love one.
i really like your sentence which said:
Our circle is complete as we cling to each other in this day of nothingness
and fullness.
simply beautiful!
thanks for sharing.^^

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2008


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2008
    Thank you for capturing the very essence of the story, dear Ginniegozali.
Comment from guyowen
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How wonderfully loving was this? Your word picture skills are delightful. here are few I especially enjoyed:

the impatient shriek of a tea kettle
After a while,
with a grumpty laugh, we accept defeat

At times we even dare to mumble-gumble a song.

Almost Paradise.

Sundays with you

Thank for showing a weary world what love was meant to be.

guyowen.. Being the romanticist you are, you might enjoy "All That You Are" which I posted two days ago maybe three

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2008


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2008
    Thank you for your words and the great review, fellow writer guyowen. I enjoyed your piece about the honeymoon as well. Lovely to be in love, isn't?