Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Shouldn't Man Achieve Human Rank Status?"Experiences of living
132 total reviews
Comment from Treischel
An amazing poem written in Acrostic format that is hung on a whole phrase - shouldn't man achieve human rank status. Very existential poetry. God's arguing over the issues and controls.
  |
An amazing poem written in Acrostic format that is hung on a whole phrase - shouldn't man achieve human rank status. Very existential poetry. God's arguing over the issues and controls.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2013
Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER
Sounds like the 35K rant of the unibomber. Direct wording of all things institutional ie: "monopoly governance", that rankle the freedom loving individuals who espouse anti-bureaucracy. Yes a well done rant indeed, fast paced and delirious with hard hitting rancor. Institution: What is left to keep one from starting a doomed revolution or going completely mad?
Regards:
|
Sounds like the 35K rant of the unibomber. Direct wording of all things institutional ie: "monopoly governance", that rankle the freedom loving individuals who espouse anti-bureaucracy. Yes a well done rant indeed, fast paced and delirious with hard hitting rancor. Institution: What is left to keep one from starting a doomed revolution or going completely mad?
Regards:
Comment Written 18-Mar-2013
Comment from ravenblack
y'know what's kind-of annoying? you never answer any of your reviews. this acrostic suffers from much verbal diarrhea. your lines are prose replete w/syntactical errors. I think I understand what you are saying, but if this is dedicated to mankind, then God help us. this frankenstein acrostic clearly got away from you.
 |
y'know what's kind-of annoying? you never answer any of your reviews. this acrostic suffers from much verbal diarrhea. your lines are prose replete w/syntactical errors. I think I understand what you are saying, but if this is dedicated to mankind, then God help us. this frankenstein acrostic clearly got away from you.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2013
Comment from allborn66
This is a very interesting poem. You expressed your philosophy well. I liked your word choice. You presented an intriguing world-view.
Barbara
|
This is a very interesting poem. You expressed your philosophy well. I liked your word choice. You presented an intriguing world-view.
Barbara
Comment Written 18-Mar-2013
Comment from mizzkris20
Writing an acrostic poem can be a little challenging. You have the acrostic right but it seems like a lot of blabbering. I tilt my hat to you for trying. I was once there
|
Writing an acrostic poem can be a little challenging. You have the acrostic right but it seems like a lot of blabbering. I tilt my hat to you for trying. I was once there
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
Comment from visionary1234
Sorry again - where is the 'poetry' here? though an acrostic (which is a very difficult form to master), this comes across still as a bit of a rant, rather than a carefully constructed piece rich with thought and imagery.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
|
Sorry again - where is the 'poetry' here? though an acrostic (which is a very difficult form to master), this comes across still as a bit of a rant, rather than a carefully constructed piece rich with thought and imagery.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
-
thanks.
Comment from closetpoetjester
Honestly, whoever you are this is NOT poetry...infact this is barely prose.
I suggest you take a good look at this site.
When someone commandeers the top four positions on the front page (not sure thats ever been done before) of course they are going to gain attention.
I sincerely believe your work will gain attention for the wrong reasons and I also believe in underlying lines in your poem you are trying to spread some kind of propaganda to those that might be on your wavelength (wherever that may be) somehow.
This Fanstory site is for writers, writers who aspire to be better writers and while you have every right to post at whatever level of promotion you or your God desires, you seem to lumbering the front page with mostly disjointed gibberish that barely resembles understandable vocabulary and to be honest if I looked to that for any sort of inspiration on how to write...I'd basically be inspired to LEAVE.
Well I know I'm a GOOD writer and don't need high levels of promotion to attract readers, followers and fans.
I let my WORK do the talking, not my money and won't be disgruntled by those who want to swamp the front page with incoherent drivvel.
To be honest I think the English language would be a little offended with the arrangement of some of this phrasing as would many writers who try hard to make their writing relevant, interesting and palatable. But this honestly reads like a bunch of gobbledegook. I see some of your other reviews have been less than polite so I don't believe I'm alone in with my thought process here.
This WILL be the last review I'll be doing for you...you will get endless reviews (some that are supportive I'm sure) probably plenty of fluff along with it, but those with integrity will be blatantly honest.
Again, if you can qualify ANY of this as any sort of flowing vocabulary I'll be happy to re-rate...but it will need to be some pretty good clarification.
See? Money does NOT buy a ranking - human or fanstorian.
When you write from the heart and not from the pocket, perhaps then it will be that you'll understand what most writers here are all about.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
|
Honestly, whoever you are this is NOT poetry...infact this is barely prose.
I suggest you take a good look at this site.
When someone commandeers the top four positions on the front page (not sure thats ever been done before) of course they are going to gain attention.
I sincerely believe your work will gain attention for the wrong reasons and I also believe in underlying lines in your poem you are trying to spread some kind of propaganda to those that might be on your wavelength (wherever that may be) somehow.
This Fanstory site is for writers, writers who aspire to be better writers and while you have every right to post at whatever level of promotion you or your God desires, you seem to lumbering the front page with mostly disjointed gibberish that barely resembles understandable vocabulary and to be honest if I looked to that for any sort of inspiration on how to write...I'd basically be inspired to LEAVE.
Well I know I'm a GOOD writer and don't need high levels of promotion to attract readers, followers and fans.
I let my WORK do the talking, not my money and won't be disgruntled by those who want to swamp the front page with incoherent drivvel.
To be honest I think the English language would be a little offended with the arrangement of some of this phrasing as would many writers who try hard to make their writing relevant, interesting and palatable. But this honestly reads like a bunch of gobbledegook. I see some of your other reviews have been less than polite so I don't believe I'm alone in with my thought process here.
This WILL be the last review I'll be doing for you...you will get endless reviews (some that are supportive I'm sure) probably plenty of fluff along with it, but those with integrity will be blatantly honest.
Again, if you can qualify ANY of this as any sort of flowing vocabulary I'll be happy to re-rate...but it will need to be some pretty good clarification.
See? Money does NOT buy a ranking - human or fanstorian.
When you write from the heart and not from the pocket, perhaps then it will be that you'll understand what most writers here are all about.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
-
thanks
Comment from donaldww
Well, it so happens that a few poets and authors have achieved their status via rank behaviour, so I guess that qualifies as a rank status.
This is a unique poem, combining serendipitous gibberish with an acrostic.
Thanks for sharing and contributing!
DW
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
|
Well, it so happens that a few poets and authors have achieved their status via rank behaviour, so I guess that qualifies as a rank status.
This is a unique poem, combining serendipitous gibberish with an acrostic.
Thanks for sharing and contributing!
DW
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
-
thanks for good review
Comment from jaeladarling
Another reflective poem worth reading. You're going to have quite a collection when it's all said and done. Nice work yet again. Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
|
Another reflective poem worth reading. You're going to have quite a collection when it's all said and done. Nice work yet again. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
-
thanks for nice review
Comment from October21
Hello!
You have cleverly written yet again another superb and fantastically intelligent review. So much wisdom here. Keep going with this great book!
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
|
Hello!
You have cleverly written yet again another superb and fantastically intelligent review. So much wisdom here. Keep going with this great book!
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
-
thanks for good review
