Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "O Bards!"Experiences of living
103 total reviews
Comment from Sanku
White tulips ,lovely theme .graceful idea and very good message .but I wish you didn't use words like 'belly earning ' when you write about such elevated thoughts -its my opinion - may be I am old fashioned.
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White tulips ,lovely theme .graceful idea and very good message .but I wish you didn't use words like 'belly earning ' when you write about such elevated thoughts -its my opinion - may be I am old fashioned.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2013
Comment from Gloria ....
OK Al, now I'm startin' to get a little confused about what you're up to here. You've got seven poems on the front page and I expect in another couple hours that will up to nine. I know you've got a bankroll the size of Donald Trump's Tower but what gives?
Gloria
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OK Al, now I'm startin' to get a little confused about what you're up to here. You've got seven poems on the front page and I expect in another couple hours that will up to nine. I know you've got a bankroll the size of Donald Trump's Tower but what gives?
Gloria
Comment Written 18-Mar-2013
Comment from garrymc5
'His Gifted Grace', 'Infinite' ' o fate!' overblown words. Avoid. These expressions come from a bygone age, when the word infinite did not have the same meaning as today. And fate? Can you have fate without losing your freedom?
'bloomed, graced hearts take essence' is nonsense
'... then busy in occupation...' redundant if 'busy' then they are 'occupied'
'belly earning, livelihood,' if earning, then they have a livelihood' BUT like 'belly earning' as an expression.
You say 'His' five times. What is the subject: Fragrance? a flower? what?
what is 'Beauty in alphas turn presages'?
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'His Gifted Grace', 'Infinite' ' o fate!' overblown words. Avoid. These expressions come from a bygone age, when the word infinite did not have the same meaning as today. And fate? Can you have fate without losing your freedom?
'bloomed, graced hearts take essence' is nonsense
'... then busy in occupation...' redundant if 'busy' then they are 'occupied'
'belly earning, livelihood,' if earning, then they have a livelihood' BUT like 'belly earning' as an expression.
You say 'His' five times. What is the subject: Fragrance? a flower? what?
what is 'Beauty in alphas turn presages'?
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
Comment from fairy77
That was fabulous. Loved white tulip and give life in words. Think you need to update photo!Very enjoyable piece and fantastic job!beth fairy77.
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That was fabulous. Loved white tulip and give life in words. Think you need to update photo!Very enjoyable piece and fantastic job!beth fairy77.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
Comment from Allison78
This is such a very wonderful poem you have written. It gives so much to think about and with so much beautiful imagery, well done!
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This is such a very wonderful poem you have written. It gives so much to think about and with so much beautiful imagery, well done!
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
Comment from Bill Schott
The many ideas floating around in this poem seem to be featuring the hues of white and dark. These are not clear to be beyond the basic reference, but it intrigues me enough to read on.
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The many ideas floating around in this poem seem to be featuring the hues of white and dark. These are not clear to be beyond the basic reference, but it intrigues me enough to read on.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
Comment from Evelyn Fort Stewart
You are indeed a very deep thinker and it takes this little old lady some time to figure it out. You're very good at what you write. God loves you and I do too.
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You are indeed a very deep thinker and it takes this little old lady some time to figure it out. You're very good at what you write. God loves you and I do too.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
Comment from wanderlost
Excellent use of language to convey purpose. The narrator is very clear in their message and the work is easily read. Great work!
Wanderlost
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Excellent use of language to convey purpose. The narrator is very clear in their message and the work is easily read. Great work!
Wanderlost
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
Comment from visionary1234
Well you certainly have an unusual and original style! But while I can accept and enjoy a lot of your imagery, what I find lacking is a united theme or stream of thought here, and some lines are a total mystery to me, sorry! eg:
Good Heavens! Wise bards drink white to the lee
no idea what "drinking white to the lee" might mean??
:)Sharyn
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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Well you certainly have an unusual and original style! But while I can accept and enjoy a lot of your imagery, what I find lacking is a united theme or stream of thought here, and some lines are a total mystery to me, sorry! eg:
Good Heavens! Wise bards drink white to the lee
no idea what "drinking white to the lee" might mean??
:)Sharyn
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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thanks for nice review
Comment from allborn66
This is a very interesting poem. The word choice is very thought-provoking. I like the flow that it has. It expresses its theme very well.
Barbara
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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This is a very interesting poem. The word choice is very thought-provoking. I like the flow that it has. It expresses its theme very well.
Barbara
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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thanks for good review
