Comment from shelley kaye

Excellent

so colourful!
with colours and imagistic word choices
smooth flow and line connection with a dreamy feel
no spag or typos noticed-

thank you for sharing
shelley :)

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2025

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2025

Thank you very much 😊

Gypsy

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Each tercet is a lovely poem. I liked the consonance and near rhyme in "mellow willow " and the S-alliteration in "stirring solefish schools " and throughout the poem. My favorite was the last tercet.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2025

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2025

Thank you, big sister

Love

Marival

Comment from Lulube

Excellent

Wonderfully written by your alliterated, descriptive lines, that paint such a thorough fantasy, that imagery spills over the framed poem. Only one suggestion: The word shimmering is used 2 times and very close in lines. It just sort of gave a tweek to me when reading. so, I thought I would point that out to you, with a suggestion; even though I do not know of this Tercet free verse style.
so my apologies if I cross the line.
changes

The surface is teeming
with, melancholy moonlight,
sparkling stars
and flickering fireflies

Replace melancholic nightingales with
never-ending nightingales
sing

lulube

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2025

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2025

Thank you, I changed shimmering, I like the rest as it is.

Thank you very much 😊

Gypsy

reply by Lulube on 06-Apr-2025

just suggestions, it's your poem

lulube