Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Ethics!"Experiences of living
65 total reviews
Comment from mizzkris20
Your poem is super long but there are a lot of good phrases in this poem to learn from if one takes heed. Thank you for sharing your work with us
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Your poem is super long but there are a lot of good phrases in this poem to learn from if one takes heed. Thank you for sharing your work with us
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
Comment from visionary1234
Well this one could be a whole book in itself - and as a single "poem" I definitely think it's pushing the limits of a FS reviewer's attention span - perhaps split something like this in two or three parts next time? Has a little Kahlil Gibran feel here - but is overshadowed by the sheer quantity of words. Prune prune prune distil distil distil! :)
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Well this one could be a whole book in itself - and as a single "poem" I definitely think it's pushing the limits of a FS reviewer's attention span - perhaps split something like this in two or three parts next time? Has a little Kahlil Gibran feel here - but is overshadowed by the sheer quantity of words. Prune prune prune distil distil distil! :)
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
Comment from nancy_e_davis
This poem is way too long! You really got carried away. You made many good points but It just didn't hold my attention at all. It has to be a language thing because the message does not come across clear. I can see you are very intelligent and sincere in your thoughts and I applaud your efforts. Nancy
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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This poem is way too long! You really got carried away. You made many good points but It just didn't hold my attention at all. It has to be a language thing because the message does not come across clear. I can see you are very intelligent and sincere in your thoughts and I applaud your efforts. Nancy
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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thanks
Comment from jaeladarling
Wow, lots of thought-provoking questions and answers! And a great addition to your collection. :) An overall good read - thanks so much for sharing your work with us.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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Wow, lots of thought-provoking questions and answers! And a great addition to your collection. :) An overall good read - thanks so much for sharing your work with us.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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thanks for nice review
Comment from October21
Well, you sure do know a lot about life and we are sure grateful you have decided to write this book. Only thing I would suggest is that you try to cut it down. The less you have the bolder and more important the words seem.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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Well, you sure do know a lot about life and we are sure grateful you have decided to write this book. Only thing I would suggest is that you try to cut it down. The less you have the bolder and more important the words seem.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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thanks for daring review
Comment from smudge
This is a more simplified style and has a charm. It is very long and doesn't have the continuity to propel the reader along. The green is hard to read.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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This is a more simplified style and has a charm. It is very long and doesn't have the continuity to propel the reader along. The green is hard to read.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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thanks for good review
Comment from Dave Russell
Choppy, rambling, way way way way way way too long! Poor flow from thought to thought, hard to follow the conversational portions with "Dad" While you have some worthy thoughts here and there, they are completely lost in the length and rambling nature of this write.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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Choppy, rambling, way way way way way way too long! Poor flow from thought to thought, hard to follow the conversational portions with "Dad" While you have some worthy thoughts here and there, they are completely lost in the length and rambling nature of this write.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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thanks
Comment from Caressa_08
There are a lot of good phrases in this poem to learn from..all is not for all, nature keeps balance, harmony & all babies ask the secrets and truths of living, are some of my favorites...As a father to his son, to me, it seemed,it was a privilege to have a son who asked so many questions & that he could grant him answers, he felt fulfilled & he was proud...And, too liked the last line when he thanked God.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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There are a lot of good phrases in this poem to learn from..all is not for all, nature keeps balance, harmony & all babies ask the secrets and truths of living, are some of my favorites...As a father to his son, to me, it seemed,it was a privilege to have a son who asked so many questions & that he could grant him answers, he felt fulfilled & he was proud...And, too liked the last line when he thanked God.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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thanks for nice professional review
Comment from MidnightWriter4U
An excellent think about it poetic work. The following says it all; and is part of the reason some men refuse to follow the light as it takes from their feelings of being all powerful egos with ultimate control:
Each creation has a mission.
But we forget keeping a mission.
They treat prophets, avatars or saints mad.
Yes, man is the producer, God the Creator.
Why so dad?
Simply, man cannot create anything like God,
Whatever he produces are borrowed,
Man can only produce all for man,
Man lives only on God's Infinite Gifts.
Why all men are not immoral or immortal?
Enjoyed!
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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An excellent think about it poetic work. The following says it all; and is part of the reason some men refuse to follow the light as it takes from their feelings of being all powerful egos with ultimate control:
Each creation has a mission.
But we forget keeping a mission.
They treat prophets, avatars or saints mad.
Yes, man is the producer, God the Creator.
Why so dad?
Simply, man cannot create anything like God,
Whatever he produces are borrowed,
Man can only produce all for man,
Man lives only on God's Infinite Gifts.
Why all men are not immoral or immortal?
Enjoyed!
Comment Written 16-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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thanks for nice review
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You're welcome. MN :)
Comment from seewhatimwritingnow
First, I'd like to say this extremely long writing, could be cut down to two short paragraphs and still relay the same 'father to son' messages. Father tells his son that all people and animals are all different, that people are evil by choice and it's the son's duty to help others to change.
The father is explaining all of these simplistic things that everyone, with any sense at all, already knows. The 'graduate- schooled' son seems to have the intelligence of a child in kindergarten, considering his amazed state to learn these simple things. I think you know what you want to say, but just don't know how to say it- not sure you're getting your 'point' across, so you ramble on and on.
I DO have to say these writings are interesting.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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First, I'd like to say this extremely long writing, could be cut down to two short paragraphs and still relay the same 'father to son' messages. Father tells his son that all people and animals are all different, that people are evil by choice and it's the son's duty to help others to change.
The father is explaining all of these simplistic things that everyone, with any sense at all, already knows. The 'graduate- schooled' son seems to have the intelligence of a child in kindergarten, considering his amazed state to learn these simple things. I think you know what you want to say, but just don't know how to say it- not sure you're getting your 'point' across, so you ramble on and on.
I DO have to say these writings are interesting.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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thanks for superb professional and contributory review
