Betrayal
A short poem on the theme of betrayal11 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry
Welcome. I hope you have as much fun here as I have. We have all ages and kinds of writers. You write well. Two bones if contention. Small font. Use advance editor in Fanstory to change font size to at least 18pt. We have many seniors here that can't read the tiny print. Your icon is lovely. Point two, we want pictures. When I first got here I did not want to do it, but people did not read me much. So, I adapted. You can get free ones from Fan Story Art, Google, Bing, Shuttercock, Stock, and others. You simply need to refer in the authors notes where the picture comes from and the picture is free. And, if you or aunt miins took the picture, tell us that too. ask me anything, if I don't know the answer, I bet I know who can. :-) Karen
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2025
   |
Welcome. I hope you have as much fun here as I have. We have all ages and kinds of writers. You write well. Two bones if contention. Small font. Use advance editor in Fanstory to change font size to at least 18pt. We have many seniors here that can't read the tiny print. Your icon is lovely. Point two, we want pictures. When I first got here I did not want to do it, but people did not read me much. So, I adapted. You can get free ones from Fan Story Art, Google, Bing, Shuttercock, Stock, and others. You simply need to refer in the authors notes where the picture comes from and the picture is free. And, if you or aunt miins took the picture, tell us that too. ask me anything, if I don't know the answer, I bet I know who can. :-) Karen
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2025
-
Hi and thank you so much for letting me know about the font and pictures. I had noticed that other people's pieces included pictures and backgrounds so I added them to the other poem I added last night. Thanks again, I'll make sure that I format more carefully
-
You are welcome:-)
-
You are welcome. Karen
Comment from harmony13
The author's words are thought provoking, descriptive and creative.
The author describes the pain and hardships well that betrayal can
cause. I like the way the author phrased the last line about trust.
The poem flows and connects well. The words of this poem were
expressed very well.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2025
|
The author's words are thought provoking, descriptive and creative.
The author describes the pain and hardships well that betrayal can
cause. I like the way the author phrased the last line about trust.
The poem flows and connects well. The words of this poem were
expressed very well.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2025
-
Hi and thank you for taking the time to read my poem. I glad you enjoyed it and that it had the effect that I was aiming for. I do like to try and express emotion through words rather than stating an emotion
Comment from Pearl Edwards
This is a good free verse poem about betrayal, and the effect it has on the one that was betrayed. Can if be forgiven, as you say the answer is within the person, for me it would be no. A good closing line - daring the heart and mind to trust again. Well done, and welcome to fanstory.
cheers
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2025
|
This is a good free verse poem about betrayal, and the effect it has on the one that was betrayed. Can if be forgiven, as you say the answer is within the person, for me it would be no. A good closing line - daring the heart and mind to trust again. Well done, and welcome to fanstory.
cheers
Comment Written 29-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2025
-
Hi, thank you so much for taking the time to read my poem. I'm glad you enjoyed it and thanks for the welcome!
Comment from nancyjam
Betrayal can destroy marriage or any relationship or it can make one stronger if there is forgiveness . Your poem tells a sad story but there is hope if there is inner strength.
Welcome to Fanstory.
Nancy
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2025
|
Betrayal can destroy marriage or any relationship or it can make one stronger if there is forgiveness . Your poem tells a sad story but there is hope if there is inner strength.
Welcome to Fanstory.
Nancy
Comment Written 23-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2025
-
Hi Nancy and thanks for your review. I'm glad that the hope idea came over correctly. Thanks for the welcome too!
Comment from June Sargent
Congratulations on your first post! This is a great entry for the contest. It highlights the turmoil within one who has been betrayed. Insidious, poisonous and taunting. Well done!
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2025
|
Congratulations on your first post! This is a great entry for the contest. It highlights the turmoil within one who has been betrayed. Insidious, poisonous and taunting. Well done!
Comment Written 23-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2025
-
Thank you very much, I really appreciate your kind comments and taking the time to review my entry!
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
Welcome and Congratulations! Your poem fits the Betrayal challenge perfectly. With well chosen words and vivid imagery, you have painted a picture of what betrayal is and how it feels.
Trust after betrayal is difficult and them again trust before betrayal is difficult too. At some point trusting is a difficult choice but it's a choice. Excellent writing! Best wishes.
Alex
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2025
|
Welcome and Congratulations! Your poem fits the Betrayal challenge perfectly. With well chosen words and vivid imagery, you have painted a picture of what betrayal is and how it feels.
Trust after betrayal is difficult and them again trust before betrayal is difficult too. At some point trusting is a difficult choice but it's a choice. Excellent writing! Best wishes.
Alex
Comment Written 22-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2025
-
Hi Alexandra and thank you for your review! I'm so glad that you feel that it has painted the picture I was intending. Best wishes
Comment from jake cosmos aller
a nice good step first posting hope to see more of your work. You nailed the theme. A formating tip. Fan Story does not display formating properly for stanza breaks. Tom Fan Story tech guru offered this workaround insert a line break like this -------------------- where the stanza breaks should go in this case I'd break it into quatrains.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2025
|
a nice good step first posting hope to see more of your work. You nailed the theme. A formating tip. Fan Story does not display formating properly for stanza breaks. Tom Fan Story tech guru offered this workaround insert a line break like this -------------------- where the stanza breaks should go in this case I'd break it into quatrains.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2025
-
Hi and thank you for your review! Also, thank you for the formatting tip - I didn't know that, I'll make sure to use that in future.
Comment from Aussie
Well written and congrats on your !st Milestone post. I liked your poem on Betrayal because everything you have written is true. Man is full of words, lies and lust that ruin relationships. To give your trust and have it broken is one of man's foibles. Good luck in the contest. K xx
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2025
|
Well written and congrats on your !st Milestone post. I liked your poem on Betrayal because everything you have written is true. Man is full of words, lies and lust that ruin relationships. To give your trust and have it broken is one of man's foibles. Good luck in the contest. K xx
Comment Written 22-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2025
-
Hi Aussie and thank you for your kind review! Yes, I wanted authenticity to portray the feelings of betrayal not just tell the reader what it is. Thank you again and best wishes
Comment from Raul1
I did enjoy reading your poem. Yes, betrayal can be defeated by doing the right thing. It is up to that person to not being friends with the one who betrayed him or her. Excellent work! Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2025
|
I did enjoy reading your poem. Yes, betrayal can be defeated by doing the right thing. It is up to that person to not being friends with the one who betrayed him or her. Excellent work! Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 22-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2025
-
Hi Raul, I'm glad you enjoyed my poem and thank you for your kind words! Best wishes
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I felt the pain in these words and betrayal destroys our self esteem and breaks the heart in the process. A fine poem for the contest and I welcome you to Fanstory, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2025
|
I felt the pain in these words and betrayal destroys our self esteem and breaks the heart in the process. A fine poem for the contest and I welcome you to Fanstory, love Dolly x
Comment Written 22-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2025
-
Hi Dolly, thank you so much for your review and kind words, I really appreciate it! Thank you for the welcome too!
