Comment from Righteous Riter

Excellent

The structure of this piece is consistent. Although this piece doesn't rhyme, it has a nice flow. The writer tells the story clearly as the message is to the point.

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013

thanks for good review

Comment from mizzkris20

Excellent

Your poem is well written and speaks in urgency. "Act Now...Don't Wait".
Why wait? Sow, fruits may late.
What's yours' to lose? What you brought? Why off?

Beautiful poem. Thanks for sharing

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013

thanks for good review I like

Comment from Perp Ihebom

Good

Well, this has an ancient feeling about it, but it's difficult to make meaning of it because of the way the lines were constructed. I suggest you take a second look at it. cheers

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013

thanks

Comment from JM daSilva

Excellent

Yeah, the poem expresses "strike while the iron is hot". Don't waste time. If you don't open your eyes, opportunities vanish before them. Keep awake, meditate, plan, but don't hesitate.

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013

thanks for good review

reply by JM daSilva on 18-Apr-2013

Welcome.

Comment from ravenblack

Excellent

I love the first stanza, even though I feel the 4th line would read better as " clouds sail silent witness" you lose me in the third stanza - the flow is just too jumbled " sow, fruits may late?" and " pries your miss or kicks?" I still really enjoy this piece, just exert the same control over each word that you had in the first stanza. love the experimental nature of the piece.

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013

thanks for excellent review

Comment from Treischel

Excellent

An interesting 9,6 format creates a jagged line and interesting combinations for this free verse treatise on the vagaries of life. Time ticks on with a kick, the wind blows and life goes. So get out a live it. I like that message.

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013

thanks for good review

Comment from Black_Oxygen

Excellent

This poetry encourages immediate action; I think,
"Act Now...Don't Wait". The piece is well written
and gives a heightened sense of urgency. Thank You
for sharing.

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013

thanks for good review

Comment from Patrick G Cox

Excellent

Hi ALCREATOR LITT RAY D,

Nice rhythm to this unusual form for a poem. Good mental imagery in the lines and message.

Good work.

Patrick

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013

thanks for good review

Comment from Mrs Happy Poet

Excellent

This is well written my friend I think you have done well translating the phrase strike while the iron is hot take all given opportunities well done regards Jill

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013

thanks for good review

Comment from A TARNISHED KNIGHT

Excellent

Your effort on this I must say amazes me.. your mind must go through many images with each word you write..I found this a bit difficult to read as well as under stand.. but that is my plebeian mind interpretation... Thought you had some great lines in this though.. but I just have a hard time weaving them together to make much sense.. will read again maybe that will give me more insight
TK

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013

thanks for nice review