Reviews from

Oh Life!

Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "O Black!"
Experiences of living

92 total reviews 
Comment from c_lucas
Excellent
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Darkness will rule the world before the coming of the AntiChrist. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
    thanks for good review
reply by c_lucas on 18-Apr-2013
    You'you're welcome
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Average
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Rule! Glow good, damn black,
Bleak blurs, blasts, blots or bans bold,
Glad! Dark reigns few hours.
I am sorry. This is just words. It makes absolutely no sense at all. I feel you are trying to communicate good advice even spiritual in nature but it's just a jumble of words hat aren't even related. Again, I applaud your efforts but I can't give a good rating. Nancy

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
    thanks
Comment from seewhatimwritingnow
Excellent
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Rule! Glow good, damn black,
Bleak blurs, blasts, blots or bans bold,
Glad! Dark reigns few hours.

I think you are telling us to take control of our lives, to RULE- Shine with brightness and steer clear of evil
Remove all from our lives that blurs the future, blasts with hate, blot or bans us from being 'bold' in our convictions- That we will find happiness and be glad..the evil will pass quickly.
Thanks again for sharing. Betty

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
    thanks for awesome review
Comment from Kelly Shackelford
Excellent
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Very insightful and moving 5/7/5 poem. I loved the flow and the word choice. I am looking forward to more in the poetry collection

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
    thanks for nice review
Comment from closetpoetjester
Needs Improvement
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If you want to appeal to the masses, I'm sorry but what you write has to be understandable and palatable on SOME level.
This is neither to be honest...its a string of "b" words that barely link together to say anything.
I'm prepared to review my rating should you be able to clarify in ANY way how this piece works and what your aim is.
Ambiguity is one thing but downright nonsense is another.
Sorry, I just don't get this.
I read a couple of your other pieces which I couldn't understand either.
Just because you are at the top of the promotion page, doesn't necessarily mean you will earn the accolades you want. Good luck with your writing... but I feel this needs much work to even be understandable, let alone relate to anything or anyone. Its just a jumble of words that don't flow. You DO however have a 5/7/5 syllable count as stated so you get a two for that and very little else.
Not sure how long this reign is going to be for you but if you keep churning out stuff like this you may not pick up to many followers...this is not designed to be hurtful, but helpful critique.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
    thanks
Comment from muezza56
Excellent
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another interesting and unusual poem this time in the 5-7-5 format, although it does seem unfair that this writer is paying his way to the top of the listings, the irony of which is his examination of human nature and it's various faults

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
    thanks for professional review
Comment from sgalletti
Excellent
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Who the hell are you???? I've read your portfolio and several of your poems and have refused to be enticed by your incessant promotions of yuur pieces that now dominate the Home Page, with no six star reviews. Are you wanting to promote your book? Are you made of money? Do you want to be ranked at the top? Do you want to express a certain opinion? If so, what is it? Yes, I like the alliteration in this piece with the "b"s and "g"s. I, myself, write a lot of poems that are extremely subtle in their satire, irony and message and few "get them" - but, I must admit that as much as my brain stretches, I just don't get his. Sue

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
    thanks for excellent review
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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Another of your short poems, you have been busy! This one is another I don't understand, but I like the sounds of the
Bleak blurs, blasts, blots or bans bold. I am not sure what you are trying to say, but is sounds good. Sandra

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
    thanks for good review
Comment from rama devi
Good
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This one is much shorter than your usual rambling style. I like the brevity and the intensity in tone. I still think the exclamation points ore overdone (in general in your poetry) but will not keep mentioning it in reviews since you obviously love to use them anyway!!! :)


Rule! Glow good, damn black, (not sure why there is a comma here? Seems a period would fit more aptly)

* Love the alliteration on B here, though the intended meaning is ambiguous and enigmatic:

Bleak blurs, blasts, blots or bans bold,

Interesting closing- celebrating the dark...
Glad! Dark reigns few hours.


A thought provoking work, even though I'm not sure what it's saying.

Warmly, rd

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
    thanks
Comment from Dave Russell
Average
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Extensive use of aliteration in the second line, but there is more to good use of aliteration than just a menue of like sounding words. You held to a 5-7-5 format so that was a plus.The overall meaning of the piece is lost I am afraid due to awkward word usage.

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
    thanks