Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Hungry?"Experiences of living
81 total reviews
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello to you ALCREATOR LITT RAY D
your 12 words are very good-
Yes hunger is natural
to help us survive
and we must toil the soil
Gert
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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Hello to you ALCREATOR LITT RAY D
your 12 words are very good-
Yes hunger is natural
to help us survive
and we must toil the soil
Gert
Comment Written 18-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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thanks for good review
Comment from Nebukadneser
I cannot believe that one person can be as brilliant and talented as you are, my friend. I stand in awe of your gift. You say so much in so few word it is absolutely amazing.
Well done
you're a rock star
Cool bananas and warm regards
Nebukadneser
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I cannot believe that one person can be as brilliant and talented as you are, my friend. I stand in awe of your gift. You say so much in so few word it is absolutely amazing.
Well done
you're a rock star
Cool bananas and warm regards
Nebukadneser
Comment Written 18-Mar-2013
Comment from trampwatch
yes, i agree. the message and exceptional attention to detail blew me away. some of the strongest statements can be said in a few simple words. well done, your book is really good.
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yes, i agree. the message and exceptional attention to detail blew me away. some of the strongest statements can be said in a few simple words. well done, your book is really good.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2013
Comment from Selina Stambi
You've managed to pack quite a lot into the three lines.
Have you factored in the dieters??
Like the last line: work, birds, ants and all.
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You've managed to pack quite a lot into the three lines.
Have you factored in the dieters??
Like the last line: work, birds, ants and all.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2013
Comment from Mai Mai
This is an interesting piece. I'm not sure the economy of words actually conveyed the message you desired or at least it was not conveyed to me. Good luck.
Mai Mai
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This is an interesting piece. I'm not sure the economy of words actually conveyed the message you desired or at least it was not conveyed to me. Good luck.
Mai Mai
Comment Written 18-Mar-2013
Comment from dmt1967
The theme about working to at and the ants as they are really hard workers was an epic one I liked this poem very much thank you for sharing
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The theme about working to at and the ants as they are really hard workers was an epic one I liked this poem very much thank you for sharing
Comment Written 18-Mar-2013
Comment from Curtis Hatch
Alcreator,
Your topic for the 5/7/5 is interesting, and the seventeen syllables tell one of life's truisms. The imagery is good. One must eat to overcome hunger, and work is required to earn one's means. The color scheme, and graphics add to the impact of the poem.
Curtis
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Alcreator,
Your topic for the 5/7/5 is interesting, and the seventeen syllables tell one of life's truisms. The imagery is good. One must eat to overcome hunger, and work is required to earn one's means. The color scheme, and graphics add to the impact of the poem.
Curtis
Comment Written 18-Mar-2013
Comment from guinea
Good work here. Your philosophy is indeed true. Your words flow smoothly and with heart. Shows deep thinking and compassion. The picture goes well with your words.
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Good work here. Your philosophy is indeed true. Your words flow smoothly and with heart. Shows deep thinking and compassion. The picture goes well with your words.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2013
Comment from Taffspride
A good short form, however the punctuation seems a little off. Use commas (where needed) at natural pauses, where you would take a breath. Delete the comma after "for survival", the phrase reads well enough without it.
To write these short forms well may I suggest you take one of the Japanese short form poetry classes.
Good strong message in this.
Iechyd da
Ann
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A good short form, however the punctuation seems a little off. Use commas (where needed) at natural pauses, where you would take a breath. Delete the comma after "for survival", the phrase reads well enough without it.
To write these short forms well may I suggest you take one of the Japanese short form poetry classes.
Good strong message in this.
Iechyd da
Ann
Comment Written 18-Mar-2013
Comment from Jerry Rauhuff
No, this is the shortest yet. Tells me that if I want to eat, I must work. Reminds me of the ant and the grasshopper story. Great message and this one also would make a good entry for this style contest.
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No, this is the shortest yet. Tells me that if I want to eat, I must work. Reminds me of the ant and the grasshopper story. Great message and this one also would make a good entry for this style contest.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2013
