Finding Balance
A Sijo poem - this week's Japanese Poetry Club assignment18 total reviews
Comment from Michele Harber
Now that things are settled with my father-in-law, I can finally get back to reviewing, and this is a good way to start.
I enjoyed your comparison of "high-brow experiences" vs. "child of nature" to a mountain vs. a valley, and it was pleasing that, in each case, they managed to find common ground.
The images are vivid, and your poem paints a mood of wonder, with underlying peace, happiness and contentment.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2025
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Now that things are settled with my father-in-law, I can finally get back to reviewing, and this is a good way to start.
I enjoyed your comparison of "high-brow experiences" vs. "child of nature" to a mountain vs. a valley, and it was pleasing that, in each case, they managed to find common ground.
The images are vivid, and your poem paints a mood of wonder, with underlying peace, happiness and contentment.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2025
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thanks
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No problem.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
I love the mountain personification
Excellent juxtaposition of mountain, nature girl, and "common ground" satori
Excellent entry for the japanese poetry club event. Your sijo poem is perfect.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2025
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I love the mountain personification
Excellent juxtaposition of mountain, nature girl, and "common ground" satori
Excellent entry for the japanese poetry club event. Your sijo poem is perfect.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2025
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WHOAAAA!! I feel so happy!! Thank you, Gypsy!! I can't tell you what this means to the over-achiever in me!! xoxox
Comment from Debbie Pope
That is one of the most complicated formats that I have ever seen. Knowing you, I know that you carried out the classic sijo to perfection so I will just tell you my impression of your work. I am drawn to your photo and your title. I see your mountain and your valley and the rock that juts out (balanced) in the middle. That is cool how you did that. I also see an oriental girl who is balancing traditional dress with an extravagant tattoo. And of course she is balanced herself on that precarious rock.
Clearly there is lots that I like with this one. You and your Japanese poetry!
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2025
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That is one of the most complicated formats that I have ever seen. Knowing you, I know that you carried out the classic sijo to perfection so I will just tell you my impression of your work. I am drawn to your photo and your title. I see your mountain and your valley and the rock that juts out (balanced) in the middle. That is cool how you did that. I also see an oriental girl who is balancing traditional dress with an extravagant tattoo. And of course she is balanced herself on that precarious rock.
Clearly there is lots that I like with this one. You and your Japanese poetry!
Comment Written 17-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2025
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I feel too guilty accepting this praise, since it was Gypsy, the administrator of this Japanese Poetry Club, who supplied the visual here. All that I can take credit for are the words of the Sijo. I love that you always give me the benefit of a doubt. It makes me feel very loved and lucky. Thank you for all of that. xoxox
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I was giving credit where it was deserved. You did such meaningful things with that photo.
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What would I do without you!! xoxox
Comment from EeanBlack
Okay, I'm gonna have to be brutally honest with you this time. This entire presentation is brilliant. I couldn't even begin to write something so structured yet so beautiful. Your first line is breathtaking. Your second line shows the disparity in their lives, and the third brings them together in what must be the most romantic embrace EVER. A mountain and a valley, yet able to find common ground. The image, the subject, the choice of words, there's so much passion here. I like this side of you. Was this before or after you faceplanted on the ice? I'm thinking of concussion protocol. If you bump your head every time before you write something, you would have a best seller.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2025
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Okay, I'm gonna have to be brutally honest with you this time. This entire presentation is brilliant. I couldn't even begin to write something so structured yet so beautiful. Your first line is breathtaking. Your second line shows the disparity in their lives, and the third brings them together in what must be the most romantic embrace EVER. A mountain and a valley, yet able to find common ground. The image, the subject, the choice of words, there's so much passion here. I like this side of you. Was this before or after you faceplanted on the ice? I'm thinking of concussion protocol. If you bump your head every time before you write something, you would have a best seller.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2025
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My maiden name was "Saxman," and the mantra in our house my entire life was: You can never hurt a Saxman by hitting one on the head. So, the faceplant was of no consequence to my creativity. But it was cause for a good laugh, so thank you for that...and for this really nice review, as well. xoxox
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You're laughing, so you're not hurt. That all that matters.
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Very true!!
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That reply was way too fast. Scary in fact. Go to the doctor.
Comment from judiverse
Great job with this. I have something in mind for my entry but haven't posted it yet. There is so much to take in with the artwork. What a great last line. I like the mountain and valley analogy, and that fits well with the artwork. Yes, opposites can find common ground. You bring in the mountain and the valley, adding to the nature aspect of this type of poem. judi
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2025
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Great job with this. I have something in mind for my entry but haven't posted it yet. There is so much to take in with the artwork. What a great last line. I like the mountain and valley analogy, and that fits well with the artwork. Yes, opposites can find common ground. You bring in the mountain and the valley, adding to the nature aspect of this type of poem. judi
Comment Written 17-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2025
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I can't tell you how I appreciate this review that is so thorough and well-though-out. It helps me enormously, especially because I still feel as if I'm the kid wearing the bandanna in a game of Blind Man's Bluff when it comes to these Japanese poetry forms. It's nice to hear that - well, this time, anyway - I made it through the maze!! xoxox
I'll look forward to your creation. xo
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You're welcome. I like the idea of opposites finding common ground. Don't think I mentioned it, but you did an excellent job with the form. judi
Comment from Mrs Anna Howard
Oh, this is just so romantic. I am sitting here swooning (and reminding myself to stop blushing because this poem isn't about me lol) I love the conclusion on the "common ground " and the link to the mountain and valley.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2025
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Oh, this is just so romantic. I am sitting here swooning (and reminding myself to stop blushing because this poem isn't about me lol) I love the conclusion on the "common ground " and the link to the mountain and valley.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2025
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Thank you for this resounding review. I don't take naturally to this Japanese poetry, so I need all the reassurance I can get. thank you for being so generous with yours, Anna.
xoxox
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It is a very solid work!
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xo
Comment from AP Apgar
What an excellent Sijo poem and beautiful picture supporting- your poem is very well written- obviously Incorporating the difficult format- while at the same time - showing incredible imagination- and an understanding of the thoughts of the character and those of the culture- nicely done!! Alan
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2025
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What an excellent Sijo poem and beautiful picture supporting- your poem is very well written- obviously Incorporating the difficult format- while at the same time - showing incredible imagination- and an understanding of the thoughts of the character and those of the culture- nicely done!! Alan
Comment Written 16-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2025
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Thank you for this encouragement, Alan. You know I'm trying hard to feel comfortable doing these Japanese forms which still do NOT come naturally. So, I appreciate your kind words of review so very much. xoxox
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you are doing well!! I started my Haiku fanaticism began in the Haiku club not the Japanese club - you are starting at the more difficult level - lucky for me - I would have probably dropped out!!
I am proud of you and your tenacity- you are an amazing lady - Xo Alan
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And you are the sweetest of the sweet-talkin' reviewers!! xoxxo
Comment from Carol Clark2
I like this poem. Your first line reflects a good question. The second shows a contrast of interests and backgrounds. The mountain and the valley are good metaphors, and finding common ground is a great solution to the differences. Could you please explain the 3-4-4-4, etc.? I'm confused about that. The poem is lovely. Blessings. Carol
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2025
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I like this poem. Your first line reflects a good question. The second shows a contrast of interests and backgrounds. The mountain and the valley are good metaphors, and finding common ground is a great solution to the differences. Could you please explain the 3-4-4-4, etc.? I'm confused about that. The poem is lovely. Blessings. Carol
Comment Written 16-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2025
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I was pretty confused about that, too. I THINK what it means is that the line is divided into three syllables, then four, then four more and four more again. And if that's the case, I didn't really do that well because "I sit in" isn't really a complete anything. Nor is "the fresh air and." See what I mean? I bandied that around SO much until I finally just gave up and said, "I'm going for the straight 14 - 16." Lol. I have only so much patience, it seems, and mine definitely ran out with regard to this part of the assignment!! xoxox
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I like the way you wrote it. Thanks, I just couldn't understand what the 3-4-4-4 was about. My patience would have run out long before yours! LOL.
Comment from njcoleman
The emotion and message in these three lines is astounding.
High-brow = mountains and nature = valleys. The juxtaposition works extremely well here.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2025
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The emotion and message in these three lines is astounding.
High-brow = mountains and nature = valleys. The juxtaposition works extremely well here.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2025
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Thank you. I still feel so "out of my element" (no pun intended) with these weekly Japanese Poetry Club assignments each week, but I'm nothing if not tenacious. Thanks for the kudos and encouragement. They're very much appreciated. xoxo
Comment from GWHARGIS
I love how nature plays such a pivotal role in this poetry. There is the human nature that is compared to the balance of nature. Balance is everything. Beautifully written. Gretchen
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2025
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I love how nature plays such a pivotal role in this poetry. There is the human nature that is compared to the balance of nature. Balance is everything. Beautifully written. Gretchen
Comment Written 16-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2025
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You hit the nail on the head where Japanese poetry is concerned - it always seems connected to nature, which was not something I ever gave a thought to before joining this club. Thank you for this lovely review! xoxo
