Canoeing Crystal Lake
Just a short story11 total reviews
Comment from marilyn quillen
so i need to know, was there a leak? I'm just glad you weren't going in white water, lol! You are definitely a great story teller wite complete CONTROL of the writers language! fantastic job
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so i need to know, was there a leak? I'm just glad you weren't going in white water, lol! You are definitely a great story teller wite complete CONTROL of the writers language! fantastic job
Comment Written 09-Jan-2025
Comment from Ulla
Victor, I truly believe that you did. I had to laugh as I read through this narrative. I have to say that you have a very patient wife.
You describe the whole thing so very well. I loved it. Ulla :)))
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Victor, I truly believe that you did. I had to laugh as I read through this narrative. I have to say that you have a very patient wife.
You describe the whole thing so very well. I loved it. Ulla :)))
Comment Written 08-Jan-2025
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is very amusing. About like the day hubby bought home a little sailboat and we tried to sail it around our 40-acre lake. We ended up in the water with the mast stuck in the muddy bottom. You and your wife might have agreed on the need for two paddlers, but a canoe with a hole isn't easy to overcome.
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This is very amusing. About like the day hubby bought home a little sailboat and we tried to sail it around our 40-acre lake. We ended up in the water with the mast stuck in the muddy bottom. You and your wife might have agreed on the need for two paddlers, but a canoe with a hole isn't easy to overcome.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2025
Comment from mermaids
This is a funny story. I can see the canoe sinking and everyone laughing. At least you and your wife were not too far out in the lake. I like the part where the instructor says the water is ten feet deep, not four feet deep. Hilarious.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025
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This is a funny story. I can see the canoe sinking and everyone laughing. At least you and your wife were not too far out in the lake. I like the part where the instructor says the water is ten feet deep, not four feet deep. Hilarious.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025
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Lol
Thank you, I was hoping
people would find it hilarious.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I do completely understand and enjoyed reading. I strongly suggest you review the rules for writing dialogue. Although the actual dialogue was very good, I do believe you might have broken almost every rule writing it.
Ok,ok, no. (space after the first comma)
"Turn here".
"No, the other way".
"VICTOR"! (punctuation goes inside the quotation marks and in the rest of the post)
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025
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I do completely understand and enjoyed reading. I strongly suggest you review the rules for writing dialogue. Although the actual dialogue was very good, I do believe you might have broken almost every rule writing it.
Ok,ok, no. (space after the first comma)
"Turn here".
"No, the other way".
"VICTOR"! (punctuation goes inside the quotation marks and in the rest of the post)
Comment Written 07-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025
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Ok. Thank you. I couldn't remember. Last time I used a lot of dialogue, I got several things wrong. Soo, I thought one of them was
putting the periods, exclamation, etc. Inside the quotes. Oh well, I'll fix them. Thanks for reading.
Comment from estory
You maintain the same sense of humor and style in your prose as in your poetry. There's a great sense of self depreciating humor in this piece. It is a story that articulates our frustrations in dealing with each other, particularly with people we are close to. We are so familiar with their idioms that we can predict them. It also illustrates how small frustrations can distract us from the joys of life. estory
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025
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You maintain the same sense of humor and style in your prose as in your poetry. There's a great sense of self depreciating humor in this piece. It is a story that articulates our frustrations in dealing with each other, particularly with people we are close to. We are so familiar with their idioms that we can predict them. It also illustrates how small frustrations can distract us from the joys of life. estory
Comment Written 07-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025
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Ha ha. Thank you.
I was trying to be a bit
more than funny. But I guess I have more than a few grammatical mistakes. Smile
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Hi Victor, I was worried this was for a dialogue only contest because of your intermittent narrative. But luckily no. The story is too detailed never to be anything but true and I think you made a good fist of conveying the experience with humour, fun and silliness. I'm just glad you both survived because things were looking pretty dire and it would only have taken one of you not to be able to swim. I can hear you laughing as you wrote this one! Warm wishes Debbie
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025
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Hi Victor, I was worried this was for a dialogue only contest because of your intermittent narrative. But luckily no. The story is too detailed never to be anything but true and I think you made a good fist of conveying the experience with humour, fun and silliness. I'm just glad you both survived because things were looking pretty dire and it would only have taken one of you not to be able to swim. I can hear you laughing as you wrote this one! Warm wishes Debbie
Comment Written 07-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025
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Thank you, Debbie.
Yes, I was chuckling a bit as I wrote this. Lol
Ok, maybe more than a bit.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
I get the impression you want to place all blame for the fiasco on your wife (not even giving her a name).
"You're trying to row it backwards".- A guide would say 'paddle', not row. You row a boat with oars but paddle a canoe with paddles.
Come Friday night, I had to ignore two emergencies. - What's this about? Are you an emergency room Dr? Or a dentist, leaving crying patients in a chair while you drive away?
This whole section is disjointed, making the reader work too hard to figure out who is speaking.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025
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I get the impression you want to place all blame for the fiasco on your wife (not even giving her a name).
"You're trying to row it backwards".- A guide would say 'paddle', not row. You row a boat with oars but paddle a canoe with paddles.
Come Friday night, I had to ignore two emergencies. - What's this about? Are you an emergency room Dr? Or a dentist, leaving crying patients in a chair while you drive away?
This whole section is disjointed, making the reader work too hard to figure out who is speaking.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025
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Sorry, was just trying to make it funny.
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Wayne, about the emergencies, the following paragraph explains all. Did you stop reading? Now regarding the paddles verses oars, is it really that big of a deal? I have already laid out my fallabiliity concerning such maritime knowledge. And isn't the difference between oars and paddles simply the size? Are they not used similarly? Oars extend out further, yes? Whoopee do.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
LOL! Your poor wife! I bet you copped it when you got home and didn't live it down for a loooooong time! But in all honesty, I wouldn't have known there was a front and a back in a canoe. So, did you go again? Or, put another way, did your wife AGREE to let you go again?? This is such a fun story. Tell your dear wife she has all my sympathies! Lol. Warmest hugs, Sandra xx
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025
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LOL! Your poor wife! I bet you copped it when you got home and didn't live it down for a loooooong time! But in all honesty, I wouldn't have known there was a front and a back in a canoe. So, did you go again? Or, put another way, did your wife AGREE to let you go again?? This is such a fun story. Tell your dear wife she has all my sympathies! Lol. Warmest hugs, Sandra xx
Comment Written 07-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025
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Thank you, Sandra.
I also thought perhaps I
was too stern with regards to my wife. But I
basically was just overdoing it a bit to try to introduce humor. Lol
Anyway, with regards to the wife, we have been divorced since 2017.
You can probably see why, eh? Lol
Comment from Elizabeth Delaney
This humorous narrative offers a relatable and light-hearted glimpse into a couple's attempt at a canoeing adventure. Victor's self-assurance contrasts with the chaotic, amusing reality, creating a fun, engaging story. The playful tension between Victor and his wife adds charm to the tale.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025
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This humorous narrative offers a relatable and light-hearted glimpse into a couple's attempt at a canoeing adventure. Victor's self-assurance contrasts with the chaotic, amusing reality, creating a fun, engaging story. The playful tension between Victor and his wife adds charm to the tale.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025
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Thank you. That is exactly how I had hoped
the story would resonate with people.
