Comment from royowen

Excellent

Yes, I guess no all addicts become completely strong in their resolve to kick the habit, it seems that some will simply die younger than they should, such a tragedy though, they/we need loving people around us, beautifully written Jim, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2025

Comment from LJbutterfly

Excellent

Alphonse, homeless, sitting on the ground, homeless, was a perfect sight for the team to encounter. It reinforced the need and urgency for the success of their project. It's unfortunate Alphonse couldn't be helped.

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2025

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2025

Thanks, Lorraine. It appears the only hope for him is if the team is successful and Dip is no longer available. Maybe he will finally come to his senses then.

Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary

Excellent

Jim,

Another fine chapter of your book. I guess they got a first hand view of what this Dip can do to a person. I sounds like it is very addictive judging from Alphonso.

Well done

Cecilia.

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2025

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reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025

Thanks so much, Cecilia. Yeah, nothing like seeing the effect on someone for the team to really appreciate what all the work is for.

reply by Cecilia A Heiskary on 07-Jan-2025

You're welcome my friend

Comment from Lea Tonin1

Excellent

Look at that amazing dialogue you have, you are super talented! Super cool with the dipraxa idea! And the fact that you have three narrators, that's a very unique thing too!
Chatty, descriptive, you never miss what's going on by the way you write. Very well done from a very talented writer.
Thank you for sharing best of luck to you!

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2025

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reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025

I love writing in first person and with a lot of dialog. I feel you can really get into the characters heads that way and know exactly what they're thinking rather than have to try to guess it all from their actions. Thanks very much, Lea, for your kind words. Awesome review!

Comment from Pam Lonsdale

Excellent

"Perhaps by New Year we'll have cracked it." - I would say "by the new year" or "by New Year's"

A perfect way to work the challenges of addiction into the story. If it had not been someone they knew, he may not have bothered to share his story.

I think their "wonderful evening" is ruined; I, personally, would not be able to get Alphonse out of my head while I had a fancy dinner and show. Yet this is the world we live in.

A nice follow-up chapter after all the science in the last one.

xo
Pam

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2025

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reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025

Thanks, Pam. Good catch with New Year's. I thought it would help the team to really see what all that work was for. There will be another couple examples of this in a future chapter to also help the readers see how devastating the problem is.

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner

Excellent

That was a tragic way to end the evening. Alphonse had gotten himself a life and a wife, but Dipraxa took it all away and he doesn't want to get his decent life back. The chance encounter has given them a lot more reason to make sure this project of theirs works out.

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2025

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reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025

That's the real tragedy of it; they like how it feels so much that they knowingly give up a good life for it. I guess that's true of most addicts, which is really sad.

Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill

Excellent

I think that honed in the whole point of what they are doing. You write well. How did you like My four part "Cold revenge for supper?" I am still working on my western. I am determined to do one. My muse is being quiet. :-(

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2025

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reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025

It's hard to imagine something that feels so good, you're willing to throw your life away for it. But that's what many addicts seem willing to do. This novel just takes that idea to the nth degree with a drug so powerful that it becomes addicting to virtually anyone who tries it.

It was nice to see a woman being the bad guy in your story, rather than just men. You painted quite a good picture of Miss Phipps.

A western, huh? That's something I've never attempted. Want to hear a good western joke? Feel free to use it if you'd like:

Pete and Charlie ride into town one afternoon and see a sign posted: We pay $50 for Indian scalps. They decide to ride out again to try their luck. They come across an Indian by himself, sneak up and scalp him. They turn it in and collect $50. They ride out again because it was so easy and find another Indian down by a creek. They sneak up on him and scalp him too, ride back, and collect $50. Once more they ride out to find another, but it's getting dark by now, so they decide to camp out for the night. In the morning, Pete wakes first and pokes his head out of the tent to find about 50,000 angry-looking Indians surrounding their tent. He quickly wakes his buddy and says, "Charlie, wake up. We're millionaires!"

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

Sadly I am sure there are many like Alfonso who just want that feel good high. This was a great chapter Jim showing both the hard work of Brian and his team and the reasons behind their work. Well done, cheers
Valda

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2025

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reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025

Thanks so much, valda. I guess that's what it's like for many addicts: getting high dominates all other aspects of their life.

Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

Seeing himwill really bring home for all of them the importance of their present work - he is the human face of the quick destruction of a life. Let's hope he can be helped. Yes - that was a depressing end to their evening, but a realistic situation which will increase the sense of urgency. Excllent writing.
Wendy

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2025

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reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025

Thanks very much, Wendy. I really wanted to bring home to the team why they were expending so much energy for a solution. (The reader too.)

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

Excellent, Jim! Your characters needed to see, first-hand, the impact of this destructive drug. Otherwise, they were in danger of seeing their operation, purely, as an academic exercise. They also had to understand the massive responsibility they had to ensure that they halted this runaway train as soon as possible. Everything appears to be going to plan and what an ambitious plan it is, especially when it comes to the spraying of the Balanga plant and getting permission from the governor. But this story was always going to convey a strong message about the escalating horrors of drug addiction and the methods of Big Pharma to capitalise on them. Very well done, Jim! Debbie

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2025

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reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025

Thanks so much, Debbie. I thought it was important for the team to see the problem live, rather than just be told about it. (The readers too.) We'll see a couple more examples before we're done.

You've nicely summarized the two main plots of the story--the two devils, so to speak, striking back: a personified Dipraxa for Brian abandoning it in favor of the better Glyptophan, and Big Pharma for the potential of Glyptophan to ruin their business.

reply by Debbie D'Arcy on 07-Jan-2025

I think this chapter reminds us too of Brian's foolhardiness which can get a bit overshadowed by this determined effort to save the world (so to speak). Nothing is ever black and white, even on the part of Big Pharma which has to be remembered for all the good it's done. You're incorporating all this well, Jim.

reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025

Exactly right, Debbie. There is also much good that Big Pharma has done. We wouldn't enjoy the longer lifespans we have without it. It's just a shame there are a few bad actors who tend to spoil its reputation.