American Citizen
My life.18 total reviews
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
Excellent work! I can relate because I am a first generation American. I was born in NYC but my father and maternal grandparents were from Greece. It is amazing how America is a collection of us all with shared ideals and dreams. Now you are just as American as I am. I notice some repeated words or ideas. You may fix that this way:
Replace this:
but my second is English
with:
I had to learn English
Or just reread and recount the words to 150. You'll notice what I mean I think.
I hope this helps.
Happy New Year and best wishes to you, Alex
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2025
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Excellent work! I can relate because I am a first generation American. I was born in NYC but my father and maternal grandparents were from Greece. It is amazing how America is a collection of us all with shared ideals and dreams. Now you are just as American as I am. I notice some repeated words or ideas. You may fix that this way:
Replace this:
but my second is English
with:
I had to learn English
Or just reread and recount the words to 150. You'll notice what I mean I think.
I hope this helps.
Happy New Year and best wishes to you, Alex
Comment Written 03-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2025
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Thank you, and Happy New Year to you, too!
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Thank you!!
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You're welcome!
Comment from Michele Harber
This is a very nice encapsulation of your life in 150 words. You very clearly express what the American dream is all about, and why so many people aspire to live in this country. I'm glad that life here has gone so well for you, but I'm glad you still hold such love and respect for your native land, as that's where you got your start, and where your parents apparently spent much of their lives. You've definitely chosen salient portions of your life to share, and this is a very happy and, thus, enjoyable read. I respect your aspiration to be a professional novelist, and your having been named one of the 10 top short story writers on FanStory certainly bodes well for your choice.
I do want to suggest one edit to your piece, though. Where you say, "My first language is English because I came to America when I was seven," I believe you're suggesting that's why your first language isn't English. In fact, just after that, you contradict it by saying, "My first language is Spanish, but my second is English." I assume it's just a simple typo, but I would suggest correcting it. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2025
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This is a very nice encapsulation of your life in 150 words. You very clearly express what the American dream is all about, and why so many people aspire to live in this country. I'm glad that life here has gone so well for you, but I'm glad you still hold such love and respect for your native land, as that's where you got your start, and where your parents apparently spent much of their lives. You've definitely chosen salient portions of your life to share, and this is a very happy and, thus, enjoyable read. I respect your aspiration to be a professional novelist, and your having been named one of the 10 top short story writers on FanStory certainly bodes well for your choice.
I do want to suggest one edit to your piece, though. Where you say, "My first language is English because I came to America when I was seven," I believe you're suggesting that's why your first language isn't English. In fact, just after that, you contradict it by saying, "My first language is Spanish, but my second is English." I assume it's just a simple typo, but I would suggest correcting it. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2025
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Thank you!
Comment from Teri7
Thank you for telling us more about your life. You always seem like a very happy young man that is always willing to improve in whatever you are doing. I appreciate your friendship very much! Keep being you! Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2025
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Thank you for telling us more about your life. You always seem like a very happy young man that is always willing to improve in whatever you are doing. I appreciate your friendship very much! Keep being you! Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 03-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2025
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Thank you!
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
An excellent entry for the Your Life in 150 Words writing prompt. It sounds like you've had a very interesting life so far and the fact that you know what your passion is and are working for it is the best thing of all. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2025
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An excellent entry for the Your Life in 150 Words writing prompt. It sounds like you've had a very interesting life so far and the fact that you know what your passion is and are working for it is the best thing of all. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2025
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Thank you!
Comment from Jacob1395
It sounds like you have already lived an interesting life. It is very challenging to get everything about your life down in just 150 words, so I thought you did a good job. Keep going.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2025
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It sounds like you have already lived an interesting life. It is very challenging to get everything about your life down in just 150 words, so I thought you did a good job. Keep going.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2025
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Thank you!
Comment from DonandVicki
A wonderful life story in so few words. You came to the United States the honorable way. So many want to come into the United States illegally, I don't know how you could respect yourself.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2025
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A wonderful life story in so few words. You came to the United States the honorable way. So many want to come into the United States illegally, I don't know how you could respect yourself.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2025
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Thank you!
Comment from joann r romei
This was great and a lot different from your usual posts, I'd like to hear more about your experiences , only if you want to share them with the readers on Fan Story. And how do you make a living writing?
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2025
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This was great and a lot different from your usual posts, I'd like to hear more about your experiences , only if you want to share them with the readers on Fan Story. And how do you make a living writing?
Comment Written 02-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2025
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Thank you! Yes, definitely!
Comment from Darlene BoClair
This is your story. This is your life. Enjoy your lifetime as a professional novelist. Have you published any of your writings?
You've shared so much details of yourself and your parents. Your joy and humility shines in each word you write. This writing prompt gives us a glimpse of your lifestyle worthy of a contest entry. I look forward to reading and reviewing your brings in the days to come.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2025
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This is your story. This is your life. Enjoy your lifetime as a professional novelist. Have you published any of your writings?
You've shared so much details of yourself and your parents. Your joy and humility shines in each word you write. This writing prompt gives us a glimpse of your lifestyle worthy of a contest entry. I look forward to reading and reviewing your brings in the days to come.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2025
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Thank you, my friend! I will follow you and hope you'll follow me in this site.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Hi there, This is quite well done, and all written in the 150 words. I'm not sure I understand this part, though...
My first language is English because I came to America when I was seven. My first language is Spanish, but my second is English.
Should that be your first language is NOT English?
Well done, and good luck in the contest. Sandra xx
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2025
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Hi there, This is quite well done, and all written in the 150 words. I'm not sure I understand this part, though...
My first language is English because I came to America when I was seven. My first language is Spanish, but my second is English.
Should that be your first language is NOT English?
Well done, and good luck in the contest. Sandra xx
Comment Written 01-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2025
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Thank you!
Comment from Brenda Strauser
I enjoyed reading about your life. You described it very well. I like writing too.I hope to write a book someday. The story is interesting and well written.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2025
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I enjoyed reading about your life. You described it very well. I like writing too.I hope to write a book someday. The story is interesting and well written.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2025
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Thank you!
