Footsteps
Silly story about being followed21 total reviews
Comment from estory
I think you did a good job in this post of creating a sense of anxiety, through those mysterious footsteps following behind you. There is a scary mystery to it since you never identify anyone, never see a figure, so we don't know if this is imagination going wild or a real threat. Sometimes that is even scarier, hearing but not seeing anyone. The anxious dog also adds to the tension; why would the dog be so up tight? estory
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2024
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I think you did a good job in this post of creating a sense of anxiety, through those mysterious footsteps following behind you. There is a scary mystery to it since you never identify anyone, never see a figure, so we don't know if this is imagination going wild or a real threat. Sometimes that is even scarier, hearing but not seeing anyone. The anxious dog also adds to the tension; why would the dog be so up tight? estory
Comment Written 30-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2024
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Estory,
Thank you for the wonderful review. Perhaps, Angel the dog sensed the anxiety in me and that's why she felt uptight. I guess we will never know.
Cecilia
Comment from DonandVicki
Your muse is inspiring you to write and include your dearly departed Angel. This is very sweet and sad, yet Angel will always be a part of your muse, I am sure.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2024
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Your muse is inspiring you to write and include your dearly departed Angel. This is very sweet and sad, yet Angel will always be a part of your muse, I am sure.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2024
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DonandVicki,
Thank you for the wonderful review. Yes, my sweet baby girl Angel will always be part of my muse and my heart.
Cecilia
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
It could be from another dimension or parallel universe. I think sometimes we have weak spots and stuff comes through. In my old house, we would have things go missing. It was just the two of us, so we knew something was off. His bright blue cel phone disappeared, a week later It was "found" right in front of the living room couch, but it was black. Everything was the same on the phone except for that.Odd stuff happens. Interesting story. Karen
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2024
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It could be from another dimension or parallel universe. I think sometimes we have weak spots and stuff comes through. In my old house, we would have things go missing. It was just the two of us, so we knew something was off. His bright blue cel phone disappeared, a week later It was "found" right in front of the living room couch, but it was black. Everything was the same on the phone except for that.Odd stuff happens. Interesting story. Karen
Comment Written 29-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2024
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Karen,
It is purely a figment of my imagination. My muse showed up one day so I went with it. Thank you for the kind review
Cecilia
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My muse leads me by the nose sometimes. Good story. Karen
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My muse hides out a lot. Not sure where she goes. I'm sick of her.
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I can write on my own, but it is so much easier with her. I was thinking of calling her Gladys but then I got a big headache. I don't think she liked it. :-)
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Girl, you are so talented.
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Thank you. You are no slouch. It is amazing how much better I am than when I got here. Only a year and a half ago. I have had lots of help. I asked questions. And on here, I the one I asked doesn't know, they usually can tell me who can. I love it here. Karen.
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I love it here also and I've only been here 3 months. I feel my poems have gotten better. My writing needs some work, but that all comes with time.
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Read people's work. Marilyn Hamilton can write good limericks. She has one called "Loosely Suess" that is hysterical. You can look for people's work if you know the title, by going to their page. Pulling up their portfolio, then on the right side click the "ALL" button, and an alphabetical list will come up. Books will came up first though.
happy reading. Karen
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Yes, I will keep that in mind.
Comment from Ulla
Yeah, but it could have happened. Maybe it was her imagination, maybe it was not. In the end, I'm thankful she never found out. I don't blame for never walking the dog again.
It's a great little story, Cecilia. Ulla xcx
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2024
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Yeah, but it could have happened. Maybe it was her imagination, maybe it was not. In the end, I'm thankful she never found out. I don't blame for never walking the dog again.
It's a great little story, Cecilia. Ulla xcx
Comment Written 29-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2024
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Ulla,
Thank you for the wonderful review. Yes, was it her imagination? Angel didn't think so.
Cecilia
Comment from LJbutterfly
I enjoyed the mystery and suspense. The protagonist was not just imagining footsteps, because her dog Angel, sensed something was following you. It could have been an evil spirit. Great story about how dogs are a source of comfort and protection.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2024
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I enjoyed the mystery and suspense. The protagonist was not just imagining footsteps, because her dog Angel, sensed something was following you. It could have been an evil spirit. Great story about how dogs are a source of comfort and protection.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2024
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LJ,
Thank you for the wonderful review. Yes, dogs are great, but sometimes they bark at absolutely nothing.
Cecilia
Comment from Ric Myworld
Outstanding descriptions. You had me tensed up knowing something was about to happen throughout, all the way up to the ending. Thanks for sharing your fine story.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2024
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Outstanding descriptions. You had me tensed up knowing something was about to happen throughout, all the way up to the ending. Thanks for sharing your fine story.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2024
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Ric,
Thank you for the wonderful review. I appreciate it.
Cecilia
Comment from Sanku
OH! My God! You must have been really scared and not to see anyone when you looked back would be spooky ...
you maintained the tension through out the narration .very well done..
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2024
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OH! My God! You must have been really scared and not to see anyone when you looked back would be spooky ...
you maintained the tension through out the narration .very well done..
Comment Written 29-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2024
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Sanku,
Thank you for the wonderful review. I appreciate it.
Cecilia
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is a good story but needs a little primping. Sentence 4 "had taken" because that action was in the past. Sent. 6 Some of the images were just shadows of things I passed, but others etc. Move from less scary images to (as you finished). More attention grabbing. Start a new paragraph with next sentence. . . .cut this walk short and I started powerwalking. However, Angel kept . . . Then I heard footsteps. . . Next sentence skip (louder) as she hadn't been growling before this. . . . yelled, "I have . . . Now you should use short choppy sentences as you are running. (builds tension) . . . scared me so badly . . . I hope my suggestions help but you can ignore me. It is a good story, but I rewrite mine sometimes more than ten times.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2024
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This is a good story but needs a little primping. Sentence 4 "had taken" because that action was in the past. Sent. 6 Some of the images were just shadows of things I passed, but others etc. Move from less scary images to (as you finished). More attention grabbing. Start a new paragraph with next sentence. . . .cut this walk short and I started powerwalking. However, Angel kept . . . Then I heard footsteps. . . Next sentence skip (louder) as she hadn't been growling before this. . . . yelled, "I have . . . Now you should use short choppy sentences as you are running. (builds tension) . . . scared me so badly . . . I hope my suggestions help but you can ignore me. It is a good story, but I rewrite mine sometimes more than ten times.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2024
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Carol,
Thank you for the great review. I appreciate the suggestions and will look over the story again. I look to authors for advice and I appreciate it when it is given.
Cecilia
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Very nice story. Very well written.
Through the story I imagined your dog as large and ferocious, like the one in your profile. When you picked it up and ran, I finally figured out why you were afraid.
Best wishes for the new year.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2024
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Very nice story. Very well written.
Through the story I imagined your dog as large and ferocious, like the one in your profile. When you picked it up and ran, I finally figured out why you were afraid.
Best wishes for the new year.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2024
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Wayne,
Thank you for the wonderful review. Kratos is in the profile. He's a 100 lb Pit Bull. Angel was my Jack Russell/Pug mix. She passed last Saturday and I'm still crying like a baby. Some days are better than others.
Cecilia
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Our imagination runs wild when we are out at night and this is why I don't go out in the dark Cecilia. You managed to keep the suspense going until the end in this short story, very scary, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2024
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Our imagination runs wild when we are out at night and this is why I don't go out in the dark Cecilia. You managed to keep the suspense going until the end in this short story, very scary, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 28-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2024
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Dolly,
Thank you very much for the lovely review. Nighttime alone can be scary.
Cecilia
