Deconstructing
Cherita poem - Potlatch Club24 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
A good use of alliteration in your Cherita poem, Joan. I love the sand sculpture exhibitions and well done with your conclusion of the destitute dreams. Great write Joan.
Cheers
Valda
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2025
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A good use of alliteration in your Cherita poem, Joan. I love the sand sculpture exhibitions and well done with your conclusion of the destitute dreams. Great write Joan.
Cheers
Valda
Comment Written 02-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2025
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Glad you liked my poem and artwork, Valda. Thanks for the review.
Happy New Year.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
Comment from Rachelle Allen
You did a super fine job despite the confines of this challenge. I liked the use of alliteration at the beginning and so very much appreciated your not continuing them ad infinitum! (They get old really fast, in my opinion.) For me, that was kind of symbolic of the way it takes repetition to build a sand castle, and then, as soon as you lose that disciplined beat, the tide takes out what you've produced. I enjoyed this poem very much. Cool pic to accompany it, too. xoxo
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2024
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You did a super fine job despite the confines of this challenge. I liked the use of alliteration at the beginning and so very much appreciated your not continuing them ad infinitum! (They get old really fast, in my opinion.) For me, that was kind of symbolic of the way it takes repetition to build a sand castle, and then, as soon as you lose that disciplined beat, the tide takes out what you've produced. I enjoyed this poem very much. Cool pic to accompany it, too. xoxo
Comment Written 30-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2024
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Hi Rachelle.
Glad you liked my poem and saw the use of beat to show the stages of the building. I like using alliteration but try to use it only when I feel it is needed.
Joan
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We agree on that.
Comment from Kayte Ray
this is a great piece that wonderfully fits the rules of engagement for the piece. there is an action reaction aspect that keeps the reader engaged. Well written and paints a beautiful picture. Nice work and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2024
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this is a great piece that wonderfully fits the rules of engagement for the piece. there is an action reaction aspect that keeps the reader engaged. Well written and paints a beautiful picture. Nice work and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2024
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Hi Kayte,
Thanks for the encouraging comments and the high rating.
Joan
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You're welcome
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice artwork and presentation, Joan.
-Your notes are appreciated.
-You wrote a good poem with
a good topic and effective imagery.
-You set the scene well with
the added alliteration, followed
by the activity taking place at the shore.
-A very good closing verse that makes
a good point about dreams with
a good comparison of tides to dreams,
and the addition of alliteration.
-Very well done.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2024
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-Nice artwork and presentation, Joan.
-Your notes are appreciated.
-You wrote a good poem with
a good topic and effective imagery.
-You set the scene well with
the added alliteration, followed
by the activity taking place at the shore.
-A very good closing verse that makes
a good point about dreams with
a good comparison of tides to dreams,
and the addition of alliteration.
-Very well done.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2024
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Thanks for the thorough and encouraging review. Pam.
Joan
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You are very welcome, Joan.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Making sandcastles is a fun thing to do with the kids on the beach and I enjoyed your poem for the club Joan as our dreams are sometimes washed away by the mighty tide, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2024
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Making sandcastles is a fun thing to do with the kids on the beach and I enjoyed your poem for the club Joan as our dreams are sometimes washed away by the mighty tide, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 30-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2024
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Thanks for your comments, Dolly. They are always appreciated. Hope you had a nice Christmas and have a Happy New Year.
Joan
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Lovely alliteration throughout your cherita poem which enhances the fluency of the verse and the concept of those sandcastles flowing away, fated to become lost dreams. A great job, Joan! I just wish Summer was really round the corner! Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2024
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Lovely alliteration throughout your cherita poem which enhances the fluency of the verse and the concept of those sandcastles flowing away, fated to become lost dreams. A great job, Joan! I just wish Summer was really round the corner! Take care Debbie
Comment Written 29-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2024
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Thanks for the nice comments and high rating, Debbie. Both are much appreciated. Hope your Christmas was merry.
Joan
Comment from Barry Penfold
Like this put together. Appears to meet all the rules. thanks for the notes on the rules. Love that sandcastle and it brings back memories of my childhood and some great sand constructions, only to have them washed away.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2024
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Like this put together. Appears to meet all the rules. thanks for the notes on the rules. Love that sandcastle and it brings back memories of my childhood and some great sand constructions, only to have them washed away.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2024
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Glad my poem brought back fond memories, Barry. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Joan
Comment from Sugarray77
Hello Joan. Great job on this Charita poem. It's a poetic form I haven't seen before. You did a good job on the sequencing of events to attain the direction the form dictates. I enjoyed it.
Melissa
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2024
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Hello Joan. Great job on this Charita poem. It's a poetic form I haven't seen before. You did a good job on the sequencing of events to attain the direction the form dictates. I enjoyed it.
Melissa
Comment Written 29-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2024
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Thanks for the terse, yet thorough review, Melissa. Hope you are having a great holiday season.
Joan
Comment from Douglas Goff
Okay. That is one of the best pictures I have seen in some time. Incredible.
I like the freedom involved in this short poetry form. Specific syllable counts are restrictive in nature.
D
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2024
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Okay. That is one of the best pictures I have seen in some time. Incredible.
I like the freedom involved in this short poetry form. Specific syllable counts are restrictive in nature.
D
Comment Written 29-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2024
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Thanks for the nice review. I am glad you liked the picture. I thought it looked like a castle I would like to build if I had the architectural and arty background to do it.
Joan
Comment from Ulla
I love the artwork, it's absolutely amazing. I also loved your poem, which is beautifully written. The imagery is great. It just seems such a shame that that it will all e washed away in an instant. Ulla xcx
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2024
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I love the artwork, it's absolutely amazing. I also loved your poem, which is beautifully written. The imagery is great. It just seems such a shame that that it will all e washed away in an instant. Ulla xcx
Comment Written 29-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2024
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Hi Ulla,
Thanks for the nice comments and all the stars. At least there's the photo.
Joan
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Hope you had a great Christmas and have a Happy New Year.
Joan
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Same to you, Joan. Happy New year. Ulla xcx
