Pain of loving you
What the art gave me16 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Maybe his leaving was the best for you. I have known a toxic relationship and the day it was over was the day I regained some peace. Your words are powerful and very sad, your poem resonated with me, love Dolly x x x
  |
Maybe his leaving was the best for you. I have known a toxic relationship and the day it was over was the day I regained some peace. Your words are powerful and very sad, your poem resonated with me, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 22-Dec-2024
Comment from Brenda Strauser
This is such a heartfelt poem. I can feel your sadness throughout your words. Well written. Picture is a good choice for your poem.
|
This is such a heartfelt poem. I can feel your sadness throughout your words. Well written. Picture is a good choice for your poem.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2024
Comment from DeboraDyess
Your poem caught my attention from the first line. It spoke volumes. Those tears... Oh, man. They burn like nothing else, and you captured that well. I was surprised that there was no annimosity toward the new 'her', which was refreshing. Well done!
Blessings,
Deb
 |
Your poem caught my attention from the first line. It spoke volumes. Those tears... Oh, man. They burn like nothing else, and you captured that well. I was surprised that there was no annimosity toward the new 'her', which was refreshing. Well done!
Blessings,
Deb
Comment Written 22-Dec-2024
Comment from SimianSavant
Hey Missy, glad to see you back. I have been sad not to see more of you. You may likely remember me as HarambeForPresident.
This is a pretty powerful piece and I imagine you did not write it casually.
The image you chose does as much work as the text. Maybe even more. One thing you might try: add some black buffering on both sides of the image, to make it stand out more starkly and widen the presentation ratio. I am not certain it will help but you will only find out if you try.
I think some of your text will have more weight if you rearrange what line it is on:
Current: Never showed with/Bruises
Try: Never showed/With bruises
Current: Fighting to understand what I'dDone wrong
Try: Fighting to understand/What I'd done wrong
You might also consider merging "But I have my doubts" into one line.
I hope this is helpful. Don't be a stranger. Thanks for the read and best regards,
🦍
|
Hey Missy, glad to see you back. I have been sad not to see more of you. You may likely remember me as HarambeForPresident.
This is a pretty powerful piece and I imagine you did not write it casually.
The image you chose does as much work as the text. Maybe even more. One thing you might try: add some black buffering on both sides of the image, to make it stand out more starkly and widen the presentation ratio. I am not certain it will help but you will only find out if you try.
I think some of your text will have more weight if you rearrange what line it is on:
Current: Never showed with/Bruises
Try: Never showed/With bruises
Current: Fighting to understand what I'dDone wrong
Try: Fighting to understand/What I'd done wrong
You might also consider merging "But I have my doubts" into one line.
I hope this is helpful. Don't be a stranger. Thanks for the read and best regards,
🦍
Comment Written 21-Dec-2024
Comment from DonandVicki
A poem of heartbreak, you several lines;If my pillow could talk It would speak of oceans of tears Left to dry within its folds." Very descriptive of a heartbreak.
|
A poem of heartbreak, you several lines;If my pillow could talk It would speak of oceans of tears Left to dry within its folds." Very descriptive of a heartbreak.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2024
Comment from cupa tea
I sure hope this is just a poem and not something from real life.
It is a very emotional poem. You can feel it in the reading. The photo helps too.
You didn't over state the feelings as I've seen people do. So, nicely done.
|
I sure hope this is just a poem and not something from real life.
It is a very emotional poem. You can feel it in the reading. The photo helps too.
You didn't over state the feelings as I've seen people do. So, nicely done.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2024
Comment from EeanBlack
I'll take your one point and 57 member cents. The font is a little hard to see clearly after a long day on the computer, but it seems to be well-written, and the particular subject matter is always compelling. I have written poetry here, but I do not really feel comfortable with it. It makes me feel vulnerable and naked.
|
I'll take your one point and 57 member cents. The font is a little hard to see clearly after a long day on the computer, but it seems to be well-written, and the particular subject matter is always compelling. I have written poetry here, but I do not really feel comfortable with it. It makes me feel vulnerable and naked.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2024
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
What an eye-catching visual which you complement so well in this poignant, tearful verse! Your free verse speaks evocatively of unseen bruises and that inner pain to the heart which is left empty and hopeless. Your story evolves to consider his new life with a love who remains equally vulnerable. I like the way you refer to him walking away "from us," an entity rejected, including himself as much as the speaker. Well done on this excellent and moving verse! Warm wishes, Debbie
|
What an eye-catching visual which you complement so well in this poignant, tearful verse! Your free verse speaks evocatively of unseen bruises and that inner pain to the heart which is left empty and hopeless. Your story evolves to consider his new life with a love who remains equally vulnerable. I like the way you refer to him walking away "from us," an entity rejected, including himself as much as the speaker. Well done on this excellent and moving verse! Warm wishes, Debbie
Comment Written 21-Dec-2024
Comment from Jesse James Doty
This is an excellent poem sharing how the pain of loving you stilted your growth and left so many tears on your pillow that the bruises never showed. You describe beautifully the pain of loving someone who left you for another and at the end of this piece you ask the poignant question will he treat you better than he treated me? And then the powerful answer, I doubt it. You carry the reader through the sad separation of a couple powerfully and poignantly so that everyone can relate.
Jesse
|
This is an excellent poem sharing how the pain of loving you stilted your growth and left so many tears on your pillow that the bruises never showed. You describe beautifully the pain of loving someone who left you for another and at the end of this piece you ask the poignant question will he treat you better than he treated me? And then the powerful answer, I doubt it. You carry the reader through the sad separation of a couple powerfully and poignantly so that everyone can relate.
Jesse
Comment Written 21-Dec-2024
Comment from Tom Horonzy
You surely must be a passionate gal since the three pieces that come when opening your profile seemingly are in that genre.
I, too, aimed to be a journalist, but the basketball scholarships offered did not have a journalism major. Still, I, wrote for the local town sports section, the college newspaper, and was Sports Information Director for two years. Then changed directions to make a living selling. It worked out great.
|
You surely must be a passionate gal since the three pieces that come when opening your profile seemingly are in that genre.
I, too, aimed to be a journalist, but the basketball scholarships offered did not have a journalism major. Still, I, wrote for the local town sports section, the college newspaper, and was Sports Information Director for two years. Then changed directions to make a living selling. It worked out great.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2024