Bad to Good
Sometimes Bad Deeds can be turned to Good6 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Yes, good point about Santa in your notes. But that doesn't detract from this delightful flash fiction with a difference. Not only a gift for the little boy but a sack. And a hopeful redemption for Peter whose day, I'm sure, would also have been made. Well done, Barry, and good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2024
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Yes, good point about Santa in your notes. But that doesn't detract from this delightful flash fiction with a difference. Not only a gift for the little boy but a sack. And a hopeful redemption for Peter whose day, I'm sure, would also have been made. Well done, Barry, and good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 19-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2024
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Debbie,
Thanks for your kind review. Glad you enjoyed the read. The story actually came in third. Take care and have a most wonderful Christmas.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
So, Santa was a thief? The sack was full of stolen goods?
It's really tough to get all the questions answered in just eighty words.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2024
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So, Santa was a thief? The sack was full of stolen goods?
It's really tough to get all the questions answered in just eighty words.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 18-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2024
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Thanks, Wayne, for your review. Glad you enjoyed it, and you are absolutely correct, Santa was a thief. Not many picked that out. Take care and have a great Christmas and New Year.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment from LJbutterfly
When my daughter was a child, we went to the mall to see Santa. When we arrived, Santa was taking a 'smoke break.' My daughter was devastated. Santa is supposed to be perfect.
I got the feeling Peter wasn't the best Santa, but when he saw a young boy in need, Peter decided to help. I love a happy ending to a Christmas story. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2024
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When my daughter was a child, we went to the mall to see Santa. When we arrived, Santa was taking a 'smoke break.' My daughter was devastated. Santa is supposed to be perfect.
I got the feeling Peter wasn't the best Santa, but when he saw a young boy in need, Peter decided to help. I love a happy ending to a Christmas story. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2024
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thanks for the review. You are spot on about Peter. He was a robber and had completed a heist. Sack full of money. He ended up doing something good.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary
What a great story. You nailed the Surprise 80 story. It flows nicely from beginning to end. What a talent to write a story with only 80 words.
Well done and good lucl in the contest.
Cecili
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2024
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What a great story. You nailed the Surprise 80 story. It flows nicely from beginning to end. What a talent to write a story with only 80 words.
Well done and good lucl in the contest.
Cecili
Comment Written 15-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2024
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Thanks so much for your kind review.
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You're welcome
Comment from lancellot
I think you chose of good theme, that could pull at the heart strings. Always a solid FanStory choice for a contest. I see two areas I would recommend looking over:
1) paragraph spacing. You have none.
2) A better defined Surprise ending. This one makes the reader wonder.
PS: We don't know where they are, or what is actually happening. Did the boy interrupt a burglary?
"Maybe"
-"Maybe."
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2024
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I think you chose of good theme, that could pull at the heart strings. Always a solid FanStory choice for a contest. I see two areas I would recommend looking over:
1) paragraph spacing. You have none.
2) A better defined Surprise ending. This one makes the reader wonder.
PS: We don't know where they are, or what is actually happening. Did the boy interrupt a burglary?
"Maybe"
-"Maybe."
Comment Written 15-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2024
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thanks for your review and for your very thoughtful comments.All the best.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Your story has such a heartwarming message! I love how you capture the innocence of the child's request and Peter's response. It feels like you've captured a special moment here. The pacing is smooth. I felt the emotional weight of the scene right away. Well done! Keep writing these kinds of heartfelt pieces!
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2024
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Your story has such a heartwarming message! I love how you capture the innocence of the child's request and Peter's response. It feels like you've captured a special moment here. The pacing is smooth. I felt the emotional weight of the scene right away. Well done! Keep writing these kinds of heartfelt pieces!
Comment Written 15-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2024
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Michael,
Thanks for your kind review. So glad you like it.