Best Christmas Memory Ever
My sister's perfect little angel5 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
Thanks for sharing another of your fun and entertaining stories. I started reading about seven children and all I could think was wow. And at the end you said you only have four. ONLY 4, which is still enough to keep, or to have kept you busy. LOL. Great job! And congrats again on your blue ribbon!
  |
Thanks for sharing another of your fun and entertaining stories. I started reading about seven children and all I could think was wow. And at the end you said you only have four. ONLY 4, which is still enough to keep, or to have kept you busy. LOL. Great job! And congrats again on your blue ribbon!
Comment Written 20-Dec-2024
Comment from Peter Jarvis
This delightful piece captures the chaotic charm of family gatherings during the holiday season, showcasing the humorous contrast between different parenting styles. The author's candid voice and relatable anecdotes provide an engaging glimpse into the life of a mother with seven spirited children.
The narrative flows smoothly, drawing readers in with vivid imagery and a sense of impending hilarity. The scene of the Christmas gathering is painted with comedic strokes, from the initial peaceful moments to the whirlwind of chaos unleashed by the kitten.
The author skillfully amplifies the tension, building excitement as the perfect Christmas becomes a delightful disaster.
The humour is sharp and relatable, particularly in the interactions between the narrator and her sister, highlighting the difference in their parenting experiences. The biting commentary on the challenges of raising multiple kids, paired with the sister's naive optimism, adds an extra layer of depth to the story.
With the sister's resigned acceptance of the chaos, is both heartwarming and funny. It encapsulates the essence of family--messy, unpredictable, and filled with love. Overall, this piece is a wonderfully entertaining read that reminds us that the best memories often come from the most chaotic moments. It's a well-deserved winner for the Merry Mayhem Contest, celebrating the joy and craziness of family life during the holidays!
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2024
|
This delightful piece captures the chaotic charm of family gatherings during the holiday season, showcasing the humorous contrast between different parenting styles. The author's candid voice and relatable anecdotes provide an engaging glimpse into the life of a mother with seven spirited children.
The narrative flows smoothly, drawing readers in with vivid imagery and a sense of impending hilarity. The scene of the Christmas gathering is painted with comedic strokes, from the initial peaceful moments to the whirlwind of chaos unleashed by the kitten.
The author skillfully amplifies the tension, building excitement as the perfect Christmas becomes a delightful disaster.
The humour is sharp and relatable, particularly in the interactions between the narrator and her sister, highlighting the difference in their parenting experiences. The biting commentary on the challenges of raising multiple kids, paired with the sister's naive optimism, adds an extra layer of depth to the story.
With the sister's resigned acceptance of the chaos, is both heartwarming and funny. It encapsulates the essence of family--messy, unpredictable, and filled with love. Overall, this piece is a wonderfully entertaining read that reminds us that the best memories often come from the most chaotic moments. It's a well-deserved winner for the Merry Mayhem Contest, celebrating the joy and craziness of family life during the holidays!
Comment Written 17-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2024
-
WOW! Thank you for this GREAT review!
-
Take care and keep writing!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I've experienced a Christmas tree falling to the ground. But not caused by a child but a rather drunken adult. So I can appreciate the mayhem in your story and your sister's resolution "never again!" Well done and good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2024
|
I've experienced a Christmas tree falling to the ground. But not caused by a child but a rather drunken adult. So I can appreciate the mayhem in your story and your sister's resolution "never again!" Well done and good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 15-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2024
-
Thank you Debbie! Oh my, I can't imagine the cleanup that would have to be done on it. Thank you for stopping in and reviewing my story.
Comment from SimianSavant
My "bundles of joy, get along best during the 8 to 12 hours they're sleeping, they never whine, argue, or fight. <= run-on sentence with a missing quotation mark. Otherwise this reads well. I suggest a larger size font for older readers, and either omitting or moving your past paragraph to the beginning. The ending is stronger and funnier with your exasperated sister.
Nice work overall. My brother's house is somewhat similar, with snot and pee all over the place when I visited last night.
🦍
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2024
|
My "bundles of joy, get along best during the 8 to 12 hours they're sleeping, they never whine, argue, or fight. <= run-on sentence with a missing quotation mark. Otherwise this reads well. I suggest a larger size font for older readers, and either omitting or moving your past paragraph to the beginning. The ending is stronger and funnier with your exasperated sister.
Nice work overall. My brother's house is somewhat similar, with snot and pee all over the place when I visited last night.
🦍
Comment Written 15-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2024
-
Thank you so much for your edit suggestions. I really appreciate it.
There is still a lot I need to learn when it comes to writing.
I went in and fixed my run-on sentence and put it into 2 to 3 of them.
Comment from Trina Layne
What a scene! This was pretty fun to read. I liked the opening line. That set up the story nicely, but I felt the middle part and the ending could have taken a bit more crafting, especially some word choices. Thanks for sharing. All the best to you.
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2024
|
What a scene! This was pretty fun to read. I liked the opening line. That set up the story nicely, but I felt the middle part and the ending could have taken a bit more crafting, especially some word choices. Thanks for sharing. All the best to you.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2024
-
I know! I was trying so many times to change the wording, but with such limited word availability, this is what I ended up with. Thank you for your review.
I started with around 750 words and had to figure out how to scale it down to 500. My longer version is more exciting.
-
Thank you I went in and revised it again because it did kind of sound a little boring in the middle listing all the details of their ages.
-
Noted. I will check it again.