Ugly and Hideous
Ugly Christmas sweater poem3 total reviews
Comment from SimianSavant
Haha it looks like you've got at least four pairs of identical twins in the pic. Maybe even a couple sets of triplets. Curious, which AI engine did you use for it? I use a bunch of different ones and it's rather interesting to see how different image engines produce very different results.
Overall this presentation works quite well, is witty, and satisfies the contest requirements. The meter of the middle lines, 3-6, is solid. You might want to take a look at the meter of your repeated lines. I think you could improve the flow by considering how the syllables accent naturally:
THEY are UG-ly and HID-e-ous
JUST a LIT-tle fa-STI-di-OUS
When you have adjacent non-accented syllables, it pushes your meter into triplets instead of duplets.
Contrast this to the even meter of your other lines:
UG-ly CHRIST-mas SWEAT-er GLEE [pause]
TACK-y THREADS in HAR-mon-Y [pause]
etc
Because of where the accents fall on your first lines, you might consider moving up those ending words and using them for a double rhyme. Something like this:
So hideous they cause alarm,
they're piteous and lacking charm
Hope this helps! Thanks for sharing and good luck (you'll need it going up against me, haha),
🦍
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2024
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Haha it looks like you've got at least four pairs of identical twins in the pic. Maybe even a couple sets of triplets. Curious, which AI engine did you use for it? I use a bunch of different ones and it's rather interesting to see how different image engines produce very different results.
Overall this presentation works quite well, is witty, and satisfies the contest requirements. The meter of the middle lines, 3-6, is solid. You might want to take a look at the meter of your repeated lines. I think you could improve the flow by considering how the syllables accent naturally:
THEY are UG-ly and HID-e-ous
JUST a LIT-tle fa-STI-di-OUS
When you have adjacent non-accented syllables, it pushes your meter into triplets instead of duplets.
Contrast this to the even meter of your other lines:
UG-ly CHRIST-mas SWEAT-er GLEE [pause]
TACK-y THREADS in HAR-mon-Y [pause]
etc
Because of where the accents fall on your first lines, you might consider moving up those ending words and using them for a double rhyme. Something like this:
So hideous they cause alarm,
they're piteous and lacking charm
Hope this helps! Thanks for sharing and good luck (you'll need it going up against me, haha),
🦍
Comment Written 15-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2024
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I appreciate your review and your help because I actually have no idea how any of that works so whenever I enter these contests, I'm doing a bit of guess work. I do like how a lot of people write their poems with an easy steady flow, which I need to learn and get better at.
It helps a little, but it's like speaking of foreign language to me because I really don't understand it. I've never taken a poetry or writing class.
As far as the picture goes, I googled Free AI images and I'm not sure which one I landed on because some of them said free but they wanted you to sign in. I have never used an AI image, but I have read in people's notes that their photos have been generated by AI so I thought I'd give it a try And yes they are kind of goofy looking. I look forward to reading yours.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Message received loud and clear. And in full agreement with your distaste! This verse reads well and emphatically and, above all, makes me smile. The repetition of 'ugly' drives the theme home, making it a great contender for the contest. Good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2024
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Message received loud and clear. And in full agreement with your distaste! This verse reads well and emphatically and, above all, makes me smile. The repetition of 'ugly' drives the theme home, making it a great contender for the contest. Good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 14-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2024
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I know! thank you for the review and well wishes.,It does sound a little redundant with the word ugly, but that was part of the format where you had to repeat the first two lines as the last two lines. :)
Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary
This is a great ugly Christmas sweater poem. I like how it rhymes throughout and the poem flows nicely.
Well done and good luck in the contest.
Cecilia
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2024
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This is a great ugly Christmas sweater poem. I like how it rhymes throughout and the poem flows nicely.
Well done and good luck in the contest.
Cecilia
Comment Written 14-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2024
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Thank it was fun and challenging trying to come up with the format that was required for this contest. Thank you for your well wishes and your review.
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You're welcome
Cecilia