The Vanishing Hour
A mystery in time8 total reviews
Comment from Lana Marie
I enjoyed your mystery story of the missing people and the mysterious magical clock. Time is a precious commodity and you can't turn back time. Will there be a sequel? That was a creative subject to write about. Keep up the great work.
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I enjoyed your mystery story of the missing people and the mysterious magical clock. Time is a precious commodity and you can't turn back time. Will there be a sequel? That was a creative subject to write about. Keep up the great work.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2024
Comment from eliz100
I enjoyed reading your story from the beginning to the end. You have meet the criteria for a Mystery story. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
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I enjoyed reading your story from the beginning to the end. You have meet the criteria for a Mystery story. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2024
Comment from bhogg
A good enjoyable read. I particularly liked your characters and the pace that you wrote the story. Both will make it easy for your reader to sit back, read and enjoy. Good luck in your contest.
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A good enjoyable read. I particularly liked your characters and the pace that you wrote the story. Both will make it easy for your reader to sit back, read and enjoy. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2024
Comment from Julie Helms
What a stellar mystery! You gave it an interesting location and time period in history. I especially liked the brief comment that old stories often contain a grain of truth.
My only suggestion is to take another look at your first sentence. It's not incorrect, but it doesn't need to be that long. The reader starts losing track in clause after clause. I'd just break it into two sentences.
I enjoyed following along with the detectives as they solved this mystery of both the crime and the unusual nature of the clock.
Julie
** This reviewer has pledged to rate in accordance with site guidelines.**
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What a stellar mystery! You gave it an interesting location and time period in history. I especially liked the brief comment that old stories often contain a grain of truth.
My only suggestion is to take another look at your first sentence. It's not incorrect, but it doesn't need to be that long. The reader starts losing track in clause after clause. I'd just break it into two sentences.
I enjoyed following along with the detectives as they solved this mystery of both the crime and the unusual nature of the clock.
Julie
** This reviewer has pledged to rate in accordance with site guidelines.**
Comment Written 13-Dec-2024
Comment from zanya
Yes here's a Mystery to engage the reader's imagination flowing from the concept of time and interwoven with a chunk of history' the final year of the British Raj.' Excellent dialogue.
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Yes here's a Mystery to engage the reader's imagination flowing from the concept of time and interwoven with a chunk of history' the final year of the British Raj.' Excellent dialogue.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2024
Comment from Peter Jarvis
Your story captures the magic and serendipity of a Christmas gathering beautifully. The unexpected encounter with Sara, the buildup of tension throughout the evening, and the eventual connection under the mistletoe create a vivid and heartwarming narrative. The emotions and chemistry between the characters are palpable, making the reader feel as if they are right there with you.
It's intriguing how life's unexpected moments can lead to such profound connections and realizations. Your portrayal of the scene in the bathroom, with the spilled wine and the glimpse into Sara's eyes, is particularly moving. It highlights the power of love and timing in our lives.
Thank you for sharing this captivating Christmas story. It's a lovely reminder of the surprises and joys that the holiday season can bring.
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Your story captures the magic and serendipity of a Christmas gathering beautifully. The unexpected encounter with Sara, the buildup of tension throughout the evening, and the eventual connection under the mistletoe create a vivid and heartwarming narrative. The emotions and chemistry between the characters are palpable, making the reader feel as if they are right there with you.
It's intriguing how life's unexpected moments can lead to such profound connections and realizations. Your portrayal of the scene in the bathroom, with the spilled wine and the glimpse into Sara's eyes, is particularly moving. It highlights the power of love and timing in our lives.
Thank you for sharing this captivating Christmas story. It's a lovely reminder of the surprises and joys that the holiday season can bring.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2024
Comment from lancellot
Very nice fictional story. I think this will do well in the contest.
notes:
{announcing} its intention to transfer power no later than June 1948
-Announcing
Why a clock? And why here, amid this historic mansion, at such a pivotal moment in history?
- Better to distinguish her inner thoughts from the narrator.
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Very nice fictional story. I think this will do well in the contest.
notes:
{announcing} its intention to transfer power no later than June 1948
-Announcing
Why a clock? And why here, amid this historic mansion, at such a pivotal moment in history?
- Better to distinguish her inner thoughts from the narrator.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2024
Comment from papa55mike
There's always a hint of fact in every legend, and I love the time-travel part of the story. What a wonderfully written story. Good luck in the contest! Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
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There's always a hint of fact in every legend, and I love the time-travel part of the story. What a wonderfully written story. Good luck in the contest! Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 11-Dec-2024