Fresh air.
Corporate responsibility.8 total reviews
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Congratulations on your first milestone post. Yes, corporations are responsible for our clean water and air but it won't be too long before the price for those commodities will be sky-high if our new president has anything to do with it. So far so good as far as low-priced water and air but wait and see...
Jesse
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Congratulations on your first milestone post. Yes, corporations are responsible for our clean water and air but it won't be too long before the price for those commodities will be sky-high if our new president has anything to do with it. So far so good as far as low-priced water and air but wait and see...
Jesse
Comment Written 14-Dec-2024
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Corporations rarely take responsibility for the pollution they cause. It's all about making money. Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. You're very brave attempting a contest right away. Good luck with the contest.
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Corporations rarely take responsibility for the pollution they cause. It's all about making money. Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. You're very brave attempting a contest right away. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2024
Comment from Begin Again
We all need air to breathe, and everyone should work toward making and keeping that air the cleanest and purest as possible. But too often, people believe that they can't do anything and leave it to the next person....then corporate steps in and says they are our saviors.... they have the ways and the means to give us clean air.... and they promise to keep the price low. How foolish are we to believe that their greed will genuinely follow through? Air is free if we care about it.
Welcome to FanStory, and congratulations on your first post.
Smiles, Carol
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We all need air to breathe, and everyone should work toward making and keeping that air the cleanest and purest as possible. But too often, people believe that they can't do anything and leave it to the next person....then corporate steps in and says they are our saviors.... they have the ways and the means to give us clean air.... and they promise to keep the price low. How foolish are we to believe that their greed will genuinely follow through? Air is free if we care about it.
Welcome to FanStory, and congratulations on your first post.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 11-Dec-2024
Comment from Bill Schott
This 2-4-2, Fresh Air, has the proper formatting and reminds us that if we ever feel used by the corporate world, the best thing to do is look for a decent price to suffer with.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2024
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This 2-4-2, Fresh Air, has the proper formatting and reminds us that if we ever feel used by the corporate world, the best thing to do is look for a decent price to suffer with.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2024
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Thank you for taking the time to review my poem, I sincerely appreciate it. I love your takeaway from the poem.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Breathing clean air these days is a rarity as we have so many machines that pollute and damage our lungs. There is nothing quite like a winter morning with cool fresh aire to breathe in the park. A poignant poem and welcome to the Fanstory community, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2024
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Breathing clean air these days is a rarity as we have so many machines that pollute and damage our lungs. There is nothing quite like a winter morning with cool fresh aire to breathe in the park. A poignant poem and welcome to the Fanstory community, love Dolly x
Comment Written 11-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2024
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Thank you so much for your review and input. I deeply appreciate it.
I am excited to be here and share my poetry!
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Congrats on your first post! I love how your poem packs such a powerful message into just a few lines! The way you link something as basic as air to corporate greed is brilliant. The "low price" gives it a sharp twist. It's a really great way to comment on the state of the world today. Great job!
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2024
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Congrats on your first post! I love how your poem packs such a powerful message into just a few lines! The way you link something as basic as air to corporate greed is brilliant. The "low price" gives it a sharp twist. It's a really great way to comment on the state of the world today. Great job!
Comment Written 10-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2024
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Thank you so much for your review. I truly appreciate it!
I am glad you enjoyed the "twist of the knife" with the final line. I felt that it was needed to truly deliver the impact of the "coldness" of corporations.
Comment from royowen
Somebody once said, if there was someway that the government could count how much air we breathed they would surly tax that sir, beautiful written my friend, welcome to fanstory, good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2024
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Somebody once said, if there was someway that the government could count how much air we breathed they would surly tax that sir, beautiful written my friend, welcome to fanstory, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 10-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2024
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Thank you so much for the review. I deeply appreciate it!
It is a terrible thing that I agree with your statement.
Thank you for the warm welcome, I hope to write more here!
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Well done
Comment from Avery Daniel
This was a solid poem. I personally would've preferred if you'd used the word "cost" instead of price, because it seems the use of price implies something is to be bought, but fresh air isn't "bought." I think "cost" would make this poem better, but it's pretty good. Also, welcome to FS, it's great that you're here. I know it seems like I'm nitpicking, and if you explained as to why you chose the word "price," it may even be more logical. But to me, based off the story title, I would've done that a bit differently. I know it's really hard to say it all in a 2-4-2 poem, so I'm likely just overthinking each word. Love the story this poem shares.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2024
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This was a solid poem. I personally would've preferred if you'd used the word "cost" instead of price, because it seems the use of price implies something is to be bought, but fresh air isn't "bought." I think "cost" would make this poem better, but it's pretty good. Also, welcome to FS, it's great that you're here. I know it seems like I'm nitpicking, and if you explained as to why you chose the word "price," it may even be more logical. But to me, based off the story title, I would've done that a bit differently. I know it's really hard to say it all in a 2-4-2 poem, so I'm likely just overthinking each word. Love the story this poem shares.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2024
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Thank you for the honest feedback!
The reasoning for the word choice of "price" is actually exactly the reason you described. The poem is describing how a corporation (likely one that contributed to the polluted air) is happy to sell you fresh air. The idea being that corporations will monetize every single aspect of our lives that they can, even the problems they caused.
Again, thank you for the feedback!