The Stolen Painting
A valuable painting stolen from the Smithsonian Institute.2 total reviews
Comment from Y. M. Roger
So, is this actually a true story? It's kindof difficult to tell .... either way, written to really keep the reader's interest... Thanx for sharing and best of luck in the contest! ;)
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2024
  |
So, is this actually a true story? It's kindof difficult to tell .... either way, written to really keep the reader's interest... Thanx for sharing and best of luck in the contest! ;)
Comment Written 09-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2024
-
Not a true story. Thanks for taking the time to read and provide encouraging feedback.
Comment from lancellot
Reading this I couldn't understand how the police missed all of that clear evidence and obvious questions, and video tapes, and employee interviews. Better to make James a police detective.
Oh well, good luck in the contest.
notes:
I checked the alarm system and it working.
- I checked the alarm system, and it is working.
Mr. Willams said, "It's state-of-the-art, connected directly to the police station."
-He actually didn't answer the question.
She seemed nervous.
-Don't tell us this. Show us this.
Next, Mr. Williams introduced James to Jack Bulger, the security guard. He was an older man, who had been at the Institute for ten years, after retiring from the D.C. police force. Mr. Williams , as he told James that Jack was a valued employee, very experienced and reliable.
-This is what Mr. Williams should have answered with asked about his people. Not the narrator.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2024
|
Reading this I couldn't understand how the police missed all of that clear evidence and obvious questions, and video tapes, and employee interviews. Better to make James a police detective.
Oh well, good luck in the contest.
notes:
I checked the alarm system and it working.
- I checked the alarm system, and it is working.
Mr. Willams said, "It's state-of-the-art, connected directly to the police station."
-He actually didn't answer the question.
She seemed nervous.
-Don't tell us this. Show us this.
Next, Mr. Williams introduced James to Jack Bulger, the security guard. He was an older man, who had been at the Institute for ten years, after retiring from the D.C. police force. Mr. Williams , as he told James that Jack was a valued employee, very experienced and reliable.
-This is what Mr. Williams should have answered with asked about his people. Not the narrator.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2024
-
Thank you for taking the time to read and the excellent feedback. I will do some thinking and edit. Your time much appreciated.