Comment from LJbutterfly

Excellent

This chapter has moved into areas I am not familiar with. I guess I haven't watched enough cop shows, so I have questions. Can an employee in Dana's position just pack up and go to another city to meet with the FBI? Of course Newman-Price doesn't know who she is meeting. Her background check was sped up...but two weeks? How will the Dipraxa manufacturing process and distribution be stopped? This is fascinating, and I'll just have to wait and see.

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2024

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2024

These are all good questions, Lorraine. Dana is only down in Charlotte for 3 days, so perhaps she just took a long weekend. According to my research, a background check typically takes 4-8 weeks, so I did speed it up for the sake of the novel's timeline. Not sure if it can really be done that quickly, though.

Your next question is the key one. How indeed can they stop a drug's manufacture when they aren't the ones making it, and they don't precisely know where it's being made? I think they have ruled out trying to stop the distribution network, which would be a major undertaking and not a permanent solution. You'll get the basics of the idea in chapter 16, and further details about it in chapter 21. There is a bit of science involved, but I've tried to make it simple enough to understand and be interesting at the same time.

Comment from T B Botts

Excellent

Hello Jim,
this is another interesting story. I wonder how often big pharma tries to stifle an upstart with a good idea. I suspect it happens more than we like to think. I'm glad we have companies that can produce drugs that are beneficial, but I get so tired of money being the motivation for everything. In light of the recent news of the idiot that killed the insurance exec, I'd be careful if I was a big pharma guy. There appears to be a feeling amongst some in this country that all successful businesses are evil, although in the case of the insurance industry, they may be right. Well done my friend.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom

 Comment Written 13-Dec-2024

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reply by the author on 14-Dec-2024

Thanks so much for your astute comments, Tom. I would like to think Big Pharma would applaud each other's efforts to come up with great drugs and not try to sabotage them for their own greedy purposes, but people can be shitty as we both know, and think only of themselves. We hear it enough in stories, but I don't really know how much truly evil skullduggery takes place, but it's probably been done before.

I have been a little hesitant to paint an industry with such a broad stroke because, like you, I'm generally in favor of business, and I don't think all successful businesses got that way by being evil. I think most successful businesses are probably honest, but when they get into bed with government and try to curry favor like Big Pharma tends to do (I'm referring to a lot of the hype around the Covid vaccines), then honesty goes out the window. When businesses require lots of lobbyists, that's when I begin to not trust their motives.

reply by T B Botts on 14-Dec-2024

I agree totally Jim.

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

A well written chapter. Fran will protect her little brother. Big pharma is a good villain, that readers will hate.

I think the chapter is fine as is. Nothing that needs to be changed. Everything is looking for that happy ending.

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2024

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reply by the author on 13-Dec-2024

Thanks, Lance. This one may not end quite so happily for everyone. We've still got a long way to go. I'm guessing we're only about at the 1/3 point in the story. I've written perhaps 2/3 of it, but I haven't completely figured out the ending yet.

I just started thinking of an idea that may lead to another sequel, but would involve a not very happy ending to at least one of the characters. But we'll see. I never have these stories planned out in advance, and I just go where the characters lead it.

Comment from Neonewman

Exceptional

This is quite an exciting chapter, Jim. I was initially worried for Brian, but Dana and Fran are on top of their game. I was on the edge of my seat with this one, lol. I'm happy Dana decided to be a whistle-blower, but she seems too excited. This worries me for the future. Will she jeopardize the mission or be a key player?

On another note, this word gave my dyslexia a run for its money.

He's the vice president who seems to be (tasked)-My mind wouldn't let me see the (s) at all. I continued seeing TAKED. Weird, huh!


Great job, my friend.

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2024

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reply by the author on 12-Dec-2024

Thanks so much, Steve. I'm glad you picked up on Dana's enthusiasm for her new role, and your worries are well-founded, as you'll see a little later. Let's hope Fran isn't getting more than she bargained for with Dana.

Evidently the correct word, tasked, jumped out at you eventually. That is interesting.

I appreciate the 6 stars too!

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

Your fast-paced chapter brings Dana completely on board and the two friends at a productive consensus of the way forward. I like the way you've done this quite succinctly rather than drag out all the technicalities which could stifle momentum of the plot. This gives the reader optimism that the complexities of the situation could, in fact, be credibly resolved (it's only fiction after all and I've been watching some highly acclaimed spy dramas on TV with far more loop holes/stretches of the imagination than this). You're doing a great job, Jim! Take care Debbie

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2024

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reply by the author on 12-Dec-2024

Thanks so much, Debbie, for your very astute comments about the pacing. I agree that this is sped up, but for the reasons you stated. Why draw something out that would only be marginally interesting and doesn't really move the plot along simply to be more realistic? Movies have to edit the action down to maintain the viewers' interest and to keep the movie within a reasonable length, and, like you, I believe authors should too. Concentrate more on the fun parts and the characters, and let the nitty-gritty details that are necessary, but not as interesting, be brief.

It's a balancing act between keeping the story somewhat realistic but not to the point of being boring just for the sake of realism. I hope I'm getting the pacing right and putting the emphasis where it should be.

Fair warning, though. There will be a bit of science in this story like in the last one, but I keep it to a minimum. You'll see a little of it in chapter 16, and quite a lot in chapter 21, but that will be it for the novel. And I try to make it as understandable and interesting as I can and intersperse it with some tidbits of humor. But you know by now, that's kind of my thing: thinking up a semi-plausible sounding solution to a complex problem, so I hope you'll bear with me when we get to those parts.

Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill

Excellent

Yea, that seems just way to easy. Government grinds exceedingly slow. And, although Dana is fed up with her company, I would think she would have had the brains to go to a lawyer first. She blabbed her guts out without a safety net.I can't see someone in a high position like hers being that naive. M.O.O. ( My opinion only) Karen

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2024

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reply by the author on 12-Dec-2024

Well, I sped it up some because of the constraints of the timeline. It kind of depended on when Johnny was born, which was based on Julia's pregnancy in the previous novel, believe it or not. I wanted a lot of this and the upcoming action to take place around the Christmas holidays, so I had to get Dana's background check done in 2 weeks rather than the usual 4-8 weeks.

Here's the thing: Dana is not a very careful person. She's impulsive, and she's primed for some action in her life. She's fed up with her company, and she meets someone she instantly likes and who seems like a no-nonsense person who's given her a great suggestion, and she jumps on it, and, as we shall soon see, with an initiative that surprises even Fran. No dinking around with lawyers or safety nets for her. Not her style.

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner

Excellent

The plot thickens as they say in old movies. However, there is a very serious problem with what the officials at Dana's drug company are planning to do about Glyptophan. If other companies discover the link, they are sure to follow suit. Getting the really dangerous drug off the illegal drug market is necessary, but is going to be really difficult.

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2024

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reply by the author on 12-Dec-2024

That's true. Other Big Pharma companies will undoubtedly hype this as well. At some point, Brian needs to address this, but that will be coming. And you've correctly identified the bigger problem than the poor publicity: stopping the spread of the bad drug, Dipraxa and getting it off the market.

Two ways to do that: Interrupt the manufacturing or distribution network or the supply chain somehow or get the manufacturer to voluntarily stop producing it. We already have a hint about the direction Fran will follow with Brian's help.

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Whew! So glad you had Fran and Dana talk quickly and that Dana agreed to be the informant! So many plots draw out an unpleasant misunderstanding across chapters but this ended nicely even with peach pie!

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2024

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reply by the author on 12-Dec-2024

I'm glad you agree, Helen. Other readers have thought this all is happening too quickly in light of the slow way that government often works, but this is a novel, and why draw it out unnecessarily just for a little more realism?

reply by lyenochka on 12-Dec-2024

I'm thankful for that pace. If you watched any K-drama (Korean drama) they really draw out hurt and misunderstandings to a ridiculous level!

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

Oh that peach pie and icecream sounds very yummy, Jim, is that a favourite of yours? I'm glad Dana is on board to try to stop creeps like Leonard destroying Brian's work. A good chapter, Jim,
cheers,
valda

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2024

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reply by the author on 12-Dec-2024

Thanks, valda. Yes, that and peach cobbler are two of my favorite desserts! Dana didn't need too much prompting. I think she's been discontented with her company and her life for a while now, and meeting Fran has stirred the pot for her, giving her a unique opportunity for some excitement and to do something good for a change.

Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

Dana sounds like a person with integrity, so it will be positive for Fran and Brian to have her information and input, but it will be difficult to extricate the drug Dipraxa from the streets now that it is out, and also hard to extricate his name and involvement. Excellent chapter. Well written.
Wendy

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2024

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reply by the author on 12-Dec-2024

Thanks very much, Wendy. It wasn't always so with Dana. For many years she was a pretty awful person, but she's improving. And now she sees an opportunity to really do something important and to add some excitement to her life, and she grabs it.

As you correctly identified, the bigger problem right now will be to stop Dipraxa in its tracks. We'll get an inkling of how they plan to do that in chapter 16 with more on that later.