Dodie Rae
Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "Unexpected encounters"A young woman unwilling to submit to abuse.
12 total reviews
Comment from Jim Wile
I loved this chapter, Steve! Yes, Dodie Rae was getting very full of herself and her seeming invincibility. She's become extremely confident and fearless, yet there's still a soft side to her buried deep that came out when she saw Geena in the supermarket. Now she feels very conflicted and the emotion gets to her.
I loved this particular turn of phrase: "I'm standing here craving to make orphans out of her children."
It's going to be interesting to see how Dodie Rae balances these conflicting emotions inside her. It seems like Bae Lynn might be experiencing much of the same now too.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2024
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I loved this chapter, Steve! Yes, Dodie Rae was getting very full of herself and her seeming invincibility. She's become extremely confident and fearless, yet there's still a soft side to her buried deep that came out when she saw Geena in the supermarket. Now she feels very conflicted and the emotion gets to her.
I loved this particular turn of phrase: "I'm standing here craving to make orphans out of her children."
It's going to be interesting to see how Dodie Rae balances these conflicting emotions inside her. It seems like Bae Lynn might be experiencing much of the same now too.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2024
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Thank you for this exceptional review, my friend. It's an honor coming from you. I think everyone is feeling the same as you, Jim. It's different than the other chapters and Dodie Rae needed the depth. I loved the phrase you pointed out. It will be interesting to see how well Dodie Rae handles the next kill.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from Slo_6
Nice work here. I should try to find a chapter with lots of action or more spookiness.
"I'm standing here craving to make orphans out of her children." --> Good line.
Two things jumped out at me while reading.
1)
"Shortly after entering the grocery store, Dodie Rae noticed Geena Burkhart, her hateful, uppity bitch nemesis their freshman year and the one who started the whole DIRTY RAE stigma. Instantly rage consumed her as she fantasized about ripping the smug little bitch's throat out."
--> There is nothing wrong with this, but as a reader, I suddenly felt the action was a little jumpy. She leaves to buy groceries, she's in the store, she sees her nemesis, she's raging. You may want to experiment with different ways to transition from one scene to the next. I struggle with this, so maybe I'm just being self-conscious.
2)
Some of the confusion for her was because she could see how different Geena's life was now, and the other part was because it wasn't making Dodie Rae feel any better. --> This seemed a little awkward, and I had to read it twice. Maybe consider reworking the first part and using fewer words. Example: "Some of her confusion came from seeing how different..."
I hope this is helpful. Keep it up.
** This reviewer has pledged to rate in accordance with site guidelines.**
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2024
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Nice work here. I should try to find a chapter with lots of action or more spookiness.
"I'm standing here craving to make orphans out of her children." --> Good line.
Two things jumped out at me while reading.
1)
"Shortly after entering the grocery store, Dodie Rae noticed Geena Burkhart, her hateful, uppity bitch nemesis their freshman year and the one who started the whole DIRTY RAE stigma. Instantly rage consumed her as she fantasized about ripping the smug little bitch's throat out."
--> There is nothing wrong with this, but as a reader, I suddenly felt the action was a little jumpy. She leaves to buy groceries, she's in the store, she sees her nemesis, she's raging. You may want to experiment with different ways to transition from one scene to the next. I struggle with this, so maybe I'm just being self-conscious.
2)
Some of the confusion for her was because she could see how different Geena's life was now, and the other part was because it wasn't making Dodie Rae feel any better. --> This seemed a little awkward, and I had to read it twice. Maybe consider reworking the first part and using fewer words. Example: "Some of her confusion came from seeing how different..."
I hope this is helpful. Keep it up.
** This reviewer has pledged to rate in accordance with site guidelines.**
Comment Written 10-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2024
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Thank you, Steve, this is very helpful, my friend. I appreciate those who take the time to help grow my craft. Time is something I don't have much of. Work takes most of it. I am dyslexic and have taught myself to read and write by word association. Chapters with action would be-3,5,7, Extreme would be 12(sexual) 17 and 20. I would love to hear your thoughts.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, Steve,
Excellent chapter with good form and composition. Great character and plot development. Good word imagery easy to visualize.
I didn't expect the new twists and turns. Dodie is showing her true colors.
Well done!
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2024
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Hello, Steve,
Excellent chapter with good form and composition. Great character and plot development. Good word imagery easy to visualize.
I didn't expect the new twists and turns. Dodie is showing her true colors.
Well done!
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
Comment Written 09-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2024
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Thank you, Gypsy, for this excellent review, my friend. I appreciate you following my story. I enjoyed this chapter as it highlighted Dodie Rae's softer side.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from Jacob1395
Another interesting and captivating chapter in your book, Steve. I really liked the conversation between Dodie Rae had with the person who she want to school with. It's amazing the effect people we went to school with can still have on us years later. I can't wait for the next chapter.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2024
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Another interesting and captivating chapter in your book, Steve. I really liked the conversation between Dodie Rae had with the person who she want to school with. It's amazing the effect people we went to school with can still have on us years later. I can't wait for the next chapter.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2024
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Thank you, Jacob, for this excellent review, my friend. Some people leave everlasting impressions, not always wanted.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
You keep adding people. This story is so full of wonder. Idea: Their cousin Jordy shows up at Bay lynn's. He has an odd story about being in the woods with blood on his clothes not knowing how he got there! All he knows is that Bubba Baxter was harassing him again, and threatening him with his starving pit bull. And he found the dog dead.
And, he brushed his teeth six times and cannot get that weird taste out of his mouth. Whaddya ya think? You inspired the idea. Karen :-)
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2024
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You keep adding people. This story is so full of wonder. Idea: Their cousin Jordy shows up at Bay lynn's. He has an odd story about being in the woods with blood on his clothes not knowing how he got there! All he knows is that Bubba Baxter was harassing him again, and threatening him with his starving pit bull. And he found the dog dead.
And, he brushed his teeth six times and cannot get that weird taste out of his mouth. Whaddya ya think? You inspired the idea. Karen :-)
Comment Written 09-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2024
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Thank you, Karen, for another incredible review, my friend. I would imagine Bubba Baxter would be next. Did Jordy find it hard to get the hair out from between his teeth. I enjoyed the inspiration you've received.
God bless,
Steve
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As the story goes the family grows. Who is to say that only women can avenge for other women? LOL Karen
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Right!
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:-)
Comment from Lea Tonin1
What an extremely well written chapter! You must have secret barrels in your yard. One with words and the other with ideas.Just dip into whenever barrel you feel like it. Such a story too I have these kinds of stories of awesome pictures well! Your writing skills are top not. I don't see any reason why this shouldn't go far beautiful!
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2024
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What an extremely well written chapter! You must have secret barrels in your yard. One with words and the other with ideas.Just dip into whenever barrel you feel like it. Such a story too I have these kinds of stories of awesome pictures well! Your writing skills are top not. I don't see any reason why this shouldn't go far beautiful!
Comment Written 08-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2024
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Thank you, Lea, for this incredible, fun review. How cool would it be to have barrels of ideas and words.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from royowen
To genuinely forgive someone who put you through hell when young would be a big turn up for the emotions, the shock firstly, and secondly would have to be a Godly emotion that nothings could predict, hidden things can be that way, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2024
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To genuinely forgive someone who put you through hell when young would be a big turn up for the emotions, the shock firstly, and secondly would have to be a Godly emotion that nothings could predict, hidden things can be that way, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 08-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2024
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Thank you, Roy, for this incredible review, my friend. Yes, It would be emotional I think. God has his hands in all of our lives, and his love heals us in so many ways. Those who don't believe still receive his love and healing, and fail to recognize it. Sad!.
God bless,
Steve
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Good job
Comment from Ric Myworld
I enjoy every chapter of your story, and this one, as different and unexpected as it is, has to be my favorite part so far. Almost like a U-turn in the middle of the expressway, dangerous, even foolish, but sometimes necessary, if you don't mind risking your life to save ten minutes. :-)
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2024
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I enjoy every chapter of your story, and this one, as different and unexpected as it is, has to be my favorite part so far. Almost like a U-turn in the middle of the expressway, dangerous, even foolish, but sometimes necessary, if you don't mind risking your life to save ten minutes. :-)
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2024
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What a wonderful way to deliver a review, Ric. I am honored this is your favorite part so far. Thank you for the incredible stars, my friend.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
You never know how things will turn out. Bully's are only bullys because you have something they don't. This rich girl didn't have Jodie's looks, and that was something she'd never have. Dodie was pretty inside and out and that's why she ended up saying she forgave her. I liked this chapter, my friend, well done. :)) Sandra xx
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reply by the author on 10-Dec-2024
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You never know how things will turn out. Bully's are only bullys because you have something they don't. This rich girl didn't have Jodie's looks, and that was something she'd never have. Dodie was pretty inside and out and that's why she ended up saying she forgave her. I liked this chapter, my friend, well done. :)) Sandra xx
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2024
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Thank you, Sandra, for this excellent review, my friend. Dodie wasn't expecting to see this girl after all these years, and it caught her off guard.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from GWHARGIS
I'm sensing that Dodie Rae is realizing getting even, even in the name of others is often very hollow. Carey is now starting to worry me. He is slowly finding pieces to the puzzle. We shall see what happens next.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2024
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I'm sensing that Dodie Rae is realizing getting even, even in the name of others is often very hollow. Carey is now starting to worry me. He is slowly finding pieces to the puzzle. We shall see what happens next.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2024
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Thank you for this beautiful review, and wonderful stars, Gretchen. You are so right, getting even really doesn't make one feel better at all. Carey is one to watch our for at the moment, but Dodie Rae can handle herself, I think.
God bless,
Steve
