Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Excellent chapter for our Renga Book. The Renga form has the right renga composition. Beautiful presentation. Good syllables and connection between lines. Thank you for participating in our book with such a beautiful verse.

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2024

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reply by the author on 04-Dec-2024

Hi Gypsy, thank you for yhour comments and review. Dove

Comment from patcelaw

Excellent

This is a nicely written part to the book and I enjoyed reading it very much. In the winter when it is windy and the icy snow flows about us it can be very distressing, but it is beautiful when it covers the ground. Patricia.

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2024

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reply by the author on 04-Dec-2024

HI Patricia, thank you for your comments and review. dove

Comment from RodG

Good

** This reviewer has pledged to rate in accordance with the criteria outlined on the Q&A page.**
I like the overall scene being described here, but I have trouble accepting how you phrased line 1. The snowflakes are not "windy," but scattered by the wind. May I suggest rephrasing the line thus: WINDBLOWN icy flakes

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2024

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reply by the author on 04-Dec-2024

Hi Rod, thank you for your comments and review. I agree with your windblown icy flakes. I will go in and edit. Dove

reply by RodG on 04-Dec-2024

Another suggestion: you might consider changing the order of line 1 to: ICY WINDBLOWN FLAKES to emphasize how cold they were.